


Broken Dreams

by Brieeze01



Series: Feelings, Smut and Love ^.~ [4]
Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi, The Founder of Diabolism, The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Demon, Dirty Talk, Emotions, Empathy, Eventual Smut, Family, Flashbacks, Gay Sex, Healing, Heartache, Jin Ling goes into Empathy with Wei Ying, Lube, M/M, Making Peace with the Past, Memories, Night-Hunt, Pain, Pain/Healing, Peeping, Post-Canon, Reconciliation, Rimming, emotional closure, established couples, family ties, past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:00:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 68,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25865542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brieeze01/pseuds/Brieeze01
Summary: Jin Ling was in a weird state. He had hated Wei Ying for so long, for most of his life in fact that he still couldn’t quite find a place in his heart for him. And though he couldn’t quite hate him after all they've been through together, he still couldn’t bring himself to like the flirty, shameless man that was Wei WuXian.Instead Jin Ling was more often than not stuck in a perpetual loop, guiltily wanting to like him and guiltily wanting to hate him. And he had been quite ready to get away from him and all those turbulent feelings but in this moment, he acknowledged that despite everything, he did not want Wei WuXian to die.He laid his hand on Wei Ying's forehead as he brushed those bangs back and gently touched the black mark the demon’s jewel had left behind. And between one breath and the next a powerful wave of resentful energy swirled up from him and Jin Ling gasped. It was so thick, almost suffocating him with the strength of Wei Ying’s regret and with it came an almost magnetic pull, an inescapable physical attraction that yanked Jin Ling forward, throwing him under forcefully whether he was prepared for it or not.
Relationships: Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín/Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, Jīn Líng | Jīn Rúlán/Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Series: Feelings, Smut and Love ^.~ [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1808650
Comments: 172
Kudos: 503





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this is the last part of the 'Emotional Closure' series lol it deals directly with Jin Ling and Wei Ying and their rocky relationship. Through ups and downs, Jin Ling will get to see first hand what makes up the man behind Wei WuXian's clever grin. This is a deeply emotional piece and I dedicate it to Barbara_Sama for this amazing idea and for all her help, she beta-d this fic from top to bottom for me <3 Without her Broken Dreams would never have even made it to paper lol. Thank you also to everyone who came here from the other stories and I hope you enjoy Jin Ling's journey.

“Sect Leader Lan, I have an urgent report for you,” a senior disciple spoke respectfully as he stood before Lan XiChen in the hanshi. 

“Thank you, Young Master Yang,” he spoke politely, taking the report from the young man. He scanned it quickly, his eyebrows knitting together in concern as he glanced over it. The governor of the Wuzhong, the largest city right along their western border with Lanling and Yunmeng, was beside himself, his writing jagged and hurried, every word on the page desperate. Apparently there was a monster terrorizing his city and it had taken the lives of an entire district. 473 men, women and children had lost their lives in one single night and the rest of his people had reported horrifying nightmares that had started 2 days ago. The entire city of Wuzhong was falling apart at the seams. People couldn’t work because they couldn’t sleep, trade had come to a stand still and what’s worse, no one had even been able to see the beast that haunted their dreams leaving the citizens terrified and hysterical. 

Lan XiChen stood up quickly from his desk grabbing Shuoyue as he went to find his brother. This was not something to take lightly. A creature that killed and polluted your mind while you slept, that could massacre an entire district in one night had to be a Dream Eater. 

They were awful creatures, creatures that spun nightmares to terrorize its victims with their deepest regrets and the traumas they had weathered in their life to generate the maximum amount of negative energy it could before it would suck out the soul and drain the body of blood. They only had one scroll on the subject in the vast vault of the Lan Library and that scroll was two centuries old. 

Lan XiChen walked with fast steps down the white stone path towards the jingshi. He was the Sect Leader until the end of winter when he would step down passing the GusuLan Sect to Lan QiRen in the interim while Lan WangJi decided if he would or would not take up the mantle of sect leader. Lan XiChen had served his sect for 20 years and Lan QiRen and WangJi had both accepted and respected his decision especially now that he had his own cultivation partner. 

The news had almost given their esteemed shifu a heart attack but WangJi had taken it in stride, pleased that his brother had found such a great person like Jiang Cheng to love and the fiery SanDu ShengShou loved him just as fiercely. They were an unlikely couple but Lan WangJi didn’t care about that at all. Who was he to judge when he had taken the YiLing Laozu for his bride.

Lan XiChen knocked with a smart rap on the jingshi door and Lan WangJi answered him immediately reading concern and urgency in his brother through nothing but the weight of his hand. 

“Brother?” He spoke meeting those big brown eyes that were narrow and serious. 

“WangJi, I have a need of you and Young Master Wei. There is a Dream Eater in Wuzhong and it took almost 500 lives last night.”

“What?” Wei WuXian popped up behind Lan Zhan’s broad shoulders, his bright eyes concerned. Dream Eaters were the stuff of legends, there was only one record of them and that scroll was alarming to say the least. It would trap its victims in their own mind dragging them under with all the regrets in their hearts damning them to relive every horrible thing they had ever experienced and at the height of their suffering the beast would suck out their soul and absorb their resentful energy.

“Are you sure ZeWu-Jun?”

“Wuzhong sent me a report just now and if it's not a Dream Eater then I am at a loss,” Lan XiChen held out the letter and Lan Zhan and Wei Ying read it quickly, their eyebrows snapping together as it became clear that this creature could be none other than that fabled monster.

“When are you leaving brother?”

“Tonight WangJi, I’m sending a letter to A-Cheng and A-Ling though they might already know, Wuzhong is right along our borders with Lanling and Yunmeng.”

“Right, Lan Zhan, I’ll draw up some talismans, should we bring SiZhui? Might be a good learning experience for him...”

“Yes and I will check the library,” Lan Zhan looked at the letter again before glancing up at XiChen.

“I’ll meet you tonight at the west gate, we leave at sundown,” Lan XiChen nodded at them decisively before he turned on his heel.

~*~

Wuzhong was a huge sprawling city with 9 districts and they mostly specialized in lumber due to the fact that they sat at the base of a thick wild forest. It was massive and cut across the imaginary dividing lines that marked the borders between Gusu, Yunmeng and Lanling. 

The forest was old, spanning for miles and miles in every direction and Lan XiChen, Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian and Lan SiZhui found themselves walking through it a few hours after sundown. The trees were ancient and gnarled, they curved close together and the air inside it was musty, dark and eerie. They weren’t sure if that was just the nature of this forest or if it was the resentful energy of the Dream Eater that lifted the hairs on the back of their necks. 

They were powerful cultivators and not much for fear but there was no denying the strange weight around them and they were tense and properly wary of their enemy. They weren’t sure what it even looked like, that lone Lan scroll had only described it as a fearsome beast with sharp fangs which all things considered was not very helpful. The scroll had also noted its description from the stories of others so there was a very high possibility that it could look like just about anything. 

They continued down the path scanning the trees and the ground for any signs but there were none. The forest was eerie in its unnatural silence, the wildlife markedly absent. No birds twittered, no animals shuffled around, not even the crickets made their trilling songs. The atmosphere was thick and stagnant since the trees were massive and broad cutting off any path a breeze could take leaving the cultivators almost suffocating in its stale air. 

They had pulled their swords just a little out of their sheaths to cast a dull glow around them so they could see the ground, the canopy of green leaves cutting off the pale light of the moon further magnifying that uncomfortable, uneasy feeling they felt in their guts.

They were definitely alert and wary and all of them spun around quickly yanking their swords out in the space of a breath to point as something stepped into the clearing they were passing through, leaves crunching underfoot.

“Easy…” A familiar voice called and Jiang Cheng of the formidable YunmengJiang Sect stepped forward into the dull light of their blades. 

“A-Cheng?”

“Jiang Cheng?”

“Sect Leader Jiang?”

“...”

“Hey,” he nodded to the four, his lieutenant edging up behind him on silent feet. Li Kang was the SanDu ShengShou’s trusted right hand man and for him to be here meant that Jiang Cheng had clearly received the very same letter Lan XiChen did.

“Wuzhong sent a letter right after you did, XiChen. They make our eastern border and the governor was almost hysterical, almost 500 lives in a single night? I’ve never heard of a beast that could do that. So what does it look like? Is it a Dream Eater?”

Wei WuXian piped up, “not sure but we couldn’t find anything in the library to say it was anything else and all the city people could only talk about their nightmares, no one actually got a look at this thing which is crazy, how do 500 people just up and die and no one sees their killer?”

“Whatever it is, it’s an evil being, you can almost taste the resentful energy here,” Lan Zhan spoke quietly glancing around the dark forest. 

“Well whatever it is, we’ll take it down,” Jiang Cheng spoke up confidently as he glanced to his lover with a grin.

Lan XiChen smiled back despite their gruesome topic of conversation. He spoke fondly, “it’s good to see you A-Cheng”

They hadn’t seen each other in a few months due to their sect duties and the esteemed ZeWu-Jun was most pleased to see his partner. Next to them, Lan WangJi felt a small private smile caress the corners of his eyes as he glanced at them. It was good to see them healthy and strong and happy. Then he chanced at look at his own cultivation partner meeting Wei WuXian’s soft smile. Wei Ying had been nearly ecstatic when Jiang Cheng told him the news. He couldn’t stop grinning for an entire day so moved his was by the happiness he saw in the people he cared about. 

Jiang Cheng’s sharp smile wilted around the edges turning soft and warm. He had missed XiChen too but he shrugged it off pulling his mind back to the present. 

“You have any leads? The Nine Lotus Library only had one chapter on it in a book of legends we have.”

“None,” XiChen spoke up, “we have one scroll that talks about it. Its a beast that traps its victims in their minds using their regrets to hold them captive. Those regrets magnify their natural Yin energy and when the demon is satisfied it sucks it up with their soul draining their bodies of all its blood as well. The scroll is a couple of centuries old and none of our elders had any wisdom to share.”

“Well hell that’s not helpful at all….” Jiang Cheng huffed

“Tell me about it, we’ve been walking this forest for 3 hours now and nothing,” Wei Ying grumbled, his hand fiddling with the hilt of Suibian. 

“Lanling has a book about them,” another voice spoke up and all of them turned sharply in surprise as Jin Ling, Sect Leader to the great LanlingJin Sect stepped into the dull glow of their swords. 

“Jin Ling?!” SiZhui spoke in a rush, his voice bright and happy and the young Lanling head blushed bright red. They had only recently begun to court and none of them had told their families about it yet.

“H….he….y….S...SiZhui…” Jin Ling mumbled awkwardly and incredibly aware of the interested gazes around them. Wei Ying wiggled his eyebrows with a quirky grin on his lips as he nudged Lan Zhan, winking when he caught HanGuang-Jun’s eye.

“S...so...any….anyway,” Jin Ling cleared his throat pulling his gaze away from the beautiful blushing Lan Sect head disciple as he grounded himself. Now was not the time to act like a love struck fool. 

“Lanling has a book about them, it didn’t say much other than what ZeWu-Jun said but it did have a picture. Apparently it’s supposed to look sort of like a woman. The one it talked about said it was twice as tall as a man with four arms. It was pretty graphic, said the demon doesn’t have any facial features other than a big mouth. Creepy thing really. It also said it was once worshiped because people thought if they prayed to it, it would grant them good dreams instead of nightmares.”

“So what it’s like a natural god like the Stone Goddess from Dafan Mountain?” SiZhui asked curiously. 

“I don’t know, maybe? It was worshiped by ancient people so I’m not sure, it could be powerful or it could be weak because it hasn’t been worshipped in several hundred years.”

“Did it say anything about how to kill it?” Wei WuXian asked quickly stepping out of his conjectures about how cute SiZhui and Jin Ling would look together as he pulled an air of professionalism around him. His normally teasing voice was matter of fact and serious.

“It said it hates light, the sunlight will burn it so if you can keep it from disappearing, the sun should kill it, oh, and yang energy, positive energy will defeat it if it traps you in your head, like good thoughts or something vague like that. It didn’t go into detail. The scholar who wrote the book only spent about 5 pages on it in total. Apparently no one’s ever been able to actually escape the nightmares once it catches you but he theorized that yang energy should defeat its power. It also said that by itself it’s fairly weak which is why it can only magnify a person’s regrets and the victim ends up providing the energy trapping themselves if they can’t shake loose.”

“That was most helpful Jin Ling,” Lan XiChen spoke up and it was Li Kang who followed, his soft voice catching their attention with its deep timbre. 

“I have an idea, if this demon wants regrets it should be able to hunt by sensing negative thoughts. We could lure it in if we think about the things that bother us, perhaps our deepest fears and regrets then catch it in an array when it shows its face.”

“Good idea,” Jiang Cheng spoke, “I’ll draw a net. He moved to slice three of his fingers to start the array when Wei WuXian cut in, “let’s make it a big one since it’s supposed to be twice as tall as a man, I’ll draw the north corner, Lan Zhan the west, SiZhui the south and Jiang Cheng you can draw the east.”

“Done” 

They busied themselves painting the dirt with a huge talisman using the qi infused blood from their fingertips. They were powerful cultivators in their own right and the seal on the ground glowed brightly with their combined energies. 

“When it gets here, we can hold the cardinal directions to trap it until dawn,” Lan XiChen spoke as they finished up. 

“I will hold the north, A-Cheng the east, WangJi the west and Li Kang the south, no offense Young Master Wei.”

“None taken ZeWu-Jun, I may be stronger now but I’m sure Jiang Cheng’s right hand man definitely has more spiritual power than I do,” Wei WuXian laughed good naturedly, nodding in the man’s direction who nodded back respectfully. 

“What about us ZeWu-Jun,” Jin Ling asked looking to him for direction.

“You two and Young Master Wei will be back up, should the creature prove stronger than any one of us you are to add your qi to whoever falters to maintain the net, so be alert.”

“Yes ZeWu-Jun,” SiZhui nodded his head accepting the task set for him. 

“So now we wait,” Jiang Cheng muttered and he plopped down to sit on the ground, crossing his legs into the lotus position. He rested his wrists palm up on his knees as he prepared himself to pull up his deepest heartaches. 

Jiang Cheng took a steadying breath glancing at Lan XiChen as the sect leader settled down next to him followed by the rest of them as they took their positions sitting around the small clearing in a circle. He fortified his heart with the soft smile XiChen gave him before closing his eyes. 

None of them were looking forward to this. They had a massive wealth of pain and regret and they steeled themselves as they fell into memories of death and destruction, of violence and despair.

For an hour they drifted in the quiet of their minds, drifted in the wounds they were forced to rip back open to kill this creature as they relived some of the worst times of their lives in long looping thoughts. Their scars were all so old and yet still so powerful that even now when they found themselves in happier circumstances those old wounds opened up easily suffusing the air around them with sorrow. 

SiZhui gasped a little as it blew over him and he blinked his eyes open glancing next to him at a wide eyed Jin Ling. They took a look around the circle at their seniors who were all quiet sitting in their poses, their eyes closed and their faces blank and emotionless, a stark contrast to the sharp tang of sadness in the air. It was so thick, that sorrow was so deep and profound the juniors looked at each other again.

They were young and they had never lived through war, through the devastation the Wen Sect had left in their wake and though they held regrets in their hearts they couldn’t hope to hold a candle to the heavy weight of despair that swirled around them. And they felt their hearts hurt in their chests as they considered the men they respected and cared for as they sat there in the misery of their memories.

SiZhui reached out laying the edge of his long sleeve over the edge of Jin Ling’s to hide their hands before he threaded his fingers through the other boy’s holding it tight as they tasted that grief in the air. Jin Ling didn’t even blush curling his own fingers up around the broad hand in his seeking comfort. It was hard to feel the energies drifting out from their seniors and stay still, sit still and let it happen when every instinct in their gut urged them to do something about all that haunting pain. 

And like that they sat there and another hour passed by that wave of despair growing thicker as their seniors lost themselves to their memories baiting the Dream Eater and calling it out, luring it with their regrets.

SiZhui was the first one to notice a change in the air when the beast finally slipped into the clearing. He slitted his eyes open, careful not to startle it and he tugged Jin Ling’s hand catching his attention. The LanlingJin leader blinked his long lashes as he caught sight of the demon for the first time. 

It was gruesome, tall and long, easily the height of two men and ghastly. It had the shrunken shape of an emaciated woman but its skin was an ashy grey. It had four arms like the book had said with black curved claws but its face was truly horrific. It was terrifying. The creature had no features, no eyes where eyes should have been, no nose, just a great big mouth that stretched across its head from ear to ear. It was grinning with that awful mouth full of sharp yellow fangs that overlapped each other. The only other characteristic it had was a round black stone in its forehead, like a cinnabar dot.

The creature took a step further into the clearing and Jin Ling and SiZhui flicked tiny sparks of spiritual energy at each of their seniors to catch their attention. They opened their eyes fully, remaining still to avoid its detection. 

And the demon took another step, its head turning side to side as though it noticed something as the negative energy wavered. Its grinning mouth turning down at the corners. It paused opening its jaws to pant a hoarse, hollow sound as a long black tongue flicked out like a snake as though searching again and Wei WuXian realized with a snap that it was tasting the air. 

Across from him, Jiang Cheng stood up silently walking to stand across the array and that horrible tongue flicked in his direction following the taste of his regret. The other seniors stood up just as quietly, ready to move, still holding their memories boldly in their minds to entice the being into the glittering array that covered the ground. 

It shuffled forward another step, its head turning when it heard the rustling of Jiang Cheng’s feet and it paused, flicking its tongue out again.

It froze for a long moment and then all hell broke loose. 

It lunged forward fast, almost too fast to see, its claws whistling through the air straight at Jiang Cheng who dived to the side yanking Sandu out. He turned quickly parrying those sharp black claws, his arm going almost numb with the force. The demon was incredibly strong and Lan XiChen jumped forward Shuoyue slashing out to catch its unprotected side. 

It howled in pain, an awful shriek like a banshee and it spun, two of its hands snapping out to throw the Lan blade back but WangJi was on him then, Bichen’s glare arcing through the air, the pale blue light glowing around them as it slammed into the demon’s back.

It screamed again, so sharp and shrill it hurt their ears. 

Li Kang pulled his swords out of their sheaths and moved to fight the creature’s left hands dancing out of the way. Each arm moved separately and it was like fighting two people at once. He spun out of the way dodging back before he slashed at those arms again but the claws were faster catching his blades and throwing him across the clearing. He slammed into a tree hard coughing blood at the impact.

Wei WuXian pulled out his flute immediately playing a few notes but the beast didn’t hear it. Chenqing’s eerie song had no effect on it most likely because it was not a corpse or a ghoul. It was something far more ancient, a demon god that still held the power of hundreds and thousands of prayers.

Wei Ying pulled out Suibian and lunged forward slashing across the hamstring intending to cripple it but it danced out of the way spinning to face Jiang Cheng who was closer. It threw its arms forward, those sharp black claws gleaming in the light from the swords and Wei WuXian paled. It was too fast and he darted into its path slamming into his shidi. He shoved Jiang Cheng across the clearing gasping in pain as those claws ripped down his back. 

Jiang Cheng fell hard on the ground unprepared for the shove turning his wide eyes to Wei Ying watching with horror as those long claws ripped his back open and for a heart stopping moment he saw YanLi before him instead, her face white as a sheet, her mouth open in shock as a huge rotting corpse slashed at her back with his rusted sword.

He froze for a moment as panic seized his heart, his blood roaring in his ears. He could not watch her die again. He could not stand it and he threw himself to his feet shaking the remnants of his memories off. 

Jiang YanLi was not here. She was long dead and gone and the person in front of him was Wei WuXian with his stupid hero complex that cost him the skin on his back. 

“FUCKING DAMN IT! WEI WUXIAN ARE YOU OK?!” 

“WEI YING?!” Lan Zhan lunged across the ground towards him with urgency but the demon twisted to face him, those hands whistling through the air and scraping across the nearly translucent blade of Bichen that slammed into it. Sparks flew from the metal as the blade and the claws dragged together. 

“I’m fine!” Wei WuXian huffed. He wasn’t really fine, he had five open gashes on his back but he would live and more importantly his shidi would live.

At the far end of the clearing Jin Ling and SiZhui waited on pins and needles for an opening. They could not risk getting in the way of their seniors who were all out battling this monstrous creature. They didn’t need juniors underfoot to worry about but nevertheless they were poised and prepared to jump in if they got the slightest chance. 

“WEI-QIANBEI?!”

“WEI WUXIAN?!”

Both of them yelled in shock when Wei Ying faltered but he was nothing if not resilient and he turned to the demon, Suibian snapping out with fury and he hacked off one of the beast’s grey arms. Lan XiChen jumped across the array to slash at its unprotected hide and it roared, it's terrible voice almost shaking the trees around the clearing. 

Li Kang threw himself forward punching his swords straight through its gut and out the other side. It howled another horrible shriek but it was powerful and it pulled itself off the swords almost immediately. It spun to the edge of the clearing noticing the juniors and it lunged with frightening speed. It was so fast it was almost a blur as it crossed the ground and the seniors felt their blood run cold when they realized they couldn’t reach it in time. 

Wei WuXian was the closest and he darted forward literally throwing himself in front of the creature as it launched its claws at Jin Ling. 

There was a sickening crack and a hoarse gasp.

Wei WuXian froze blinking in shock. He glanced down, stunned, to see a long clawed hand jutting straight through him and out from his stomach. Time almost seemed to slow down then, a white noise in his ears. He looked up again disconnected, meeting Jin Ling’s huge brown eyes. His mouth was moving, he was saying something but Wei Ying couldn’t hear him. 

Those black claws seemed to curl up, that grey hand soaked in his blood and the demon paused sensing its prey was caught. A shockwave erupted out of it throwing the cultivators that were trying to attack it back across the clearing. One of its remaining hands rose up to caress Wei WuXian’s cheek gently like a lover before it lifted his chin all the way up almost as if to look down into his hazy grey eyes. 

It leaned forward and touched his forehead with the black jewel that sat above its grinning mouth and Wei WuXian fell.

He fell down and down and down into the mire of his mind. 

~*~

Jin Ling was screaming in panic, SiZhui was crying, cultivators left and right struggled back to their feet dashing across the clearing. They couldn’t see what was happening the demon was facing away from them but they knew almost instinctively that something awful had just taken place with the way that Jin Ling and SiZhui were almost hysterical. 

The demon lifted its face from Wei WuXian’s and yanked its hand back through his stomach letting his limp body fall. Wei Ying toppled over unconscious from the spell the monster had cast on him, collapsing heavily into SiZhui and Jin Ling. 

They caught him hurriedly, his name falling from their lips over and over. They laid him down flat wary of the demon but it turned back to find it’s next victim, its red claws dripping with Wei Ying’s blood.

Jin Ling lifted his hand up shakily to see if Wei WuXian was still breathing while SiZhui immediately laid a glowing hand on the gaping hole in his belly to try and stop some of his blood loss. 

Jin Ling was in a weird state. He was desperately worried about Wei Ying even though he still wasn’t too sure how to feel about the murderer of his parents. He had hated Wei Ying for so long, for most of his life in fact that he still couldn’t quite find a place in his heart for him no matter what his jiujiu or HanGuang-Jun or ZeWu-Jun or SiZhui thought. He couldn’t hate him after they had been through so much together but he couldn’t bring himself to like the teasing, flirty, shameless man that was Wei Ying. 

He was more often than not stuck in a perpetual loop, guiltily wanting to like him even though he had caused his parents’ deaths and guiltily wanting to hate him after he had saved them time and time again. 

And he had been quite ready to get away from him and all those turbulent feelings returning to Lanling and pushing that chaotic man out of his thoughts, choosing instead to ignore his existence rather than try to wrestle with his own heart but regardless, he did not want the man to die.

He held trembling fingers under his nose feeling the shallow puff of hot air with relief before he laid his hand on his forehead, his body moving by itself. He brushed those bangs back and gently touched the black mark the demon’s jewel had left behind. 

And between one breath and the next a powerful wave of resentful energy swirled up from him and Jin Ling gasped. It was so thick, almost suffocating him with the strength of Wei Ying’s unimaginable regret and with it came an almost magnetic pull, an inescapable physical attraction that yanked Jin Ling forward throwing him under forcefully whether he was prepared for it or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys and I hope you stick around to follow this winding story. Be warned there will be a lot of flashbacks... I will be posting chapters every 3/4 days and I'd love to read your comments, kudos, feedback or advice. :)


	2. Chapter 2

Jin Ling blinked and the first thing he felt was pain, unfathomable pain, white hot across his shoulders. It was agony and his kneeling body jerked as he felt something snap across his back again.

Jin Ling had never been hit or punished or struck at any point in his life and he felt tears well up in his eyes as he tried to understand what the fuck was going on. He gasped hoarsely and he heard the cold voice of a woman behind him.

Jin Ling tried to look over his shoulder but his body wouldn’t turn and whatever that was hit him again.

“… I’ve said long ago, that you… you unruly thing! Would bring trouble to the Jiang Sect, sooner or later!”

Then another lash across his back, and another and another, dozens of heavy strikes hit him over and over and Jin Ling gritted his teeth unable to move, to fight back, to do anything and he felt a thought that wasn’t his own cross his mind. 

_Fu...fuck…...Madam Yu…..damn it…...I can’t…...endure this…...fuck…...I have to endure this damn it or that LingJiao bitch will never let this end._

_Madam Yu? LingJiao? What? What is going on? Madam Yu? My grandmother Madam Yu? And LingJiao?_

Where had he heard that name before? Jin Ling hissed through his teeth as another lash snapped across his back. _LingJiao? LingJiao? ! that Wen Sect bitch Wang LingJiao?! What???_

_But that was almost 20 years ago... Hadn’t she been turned to dust by the YiLing Laozu? What the fuck is going on?_

After another set of lashes, that horrible weapon stopped and Jin Ling heard that woman’s voice again, “A-Cheng! Stand back. Don’t you dare help him!”

_A-Cheng? Jiang Cheng? Jiujiu?_

He suddenly heard another woman’s voice, it was nasally and sounded high and annoying. He felt his head turn to the side as his body leaned forward to collapse against the rich wooden boards of the floor. 

With his head turned he could finally see the people around the room. He spotted a dolled up young woman covered in jewelry. She was gaudy with rows of bangles on her wrists and she had a little mole above her lip. She would have been pretty if not for the arrogant tilt of her head and her exaggerated fashion that painted her as someone cheap and low class. 

“It’s over?” She called with that annoying sing-song voice and another woman answered her. This woman was elegant and poised, her chin proud and her shoulders back. She wore the heavy YunmengJiang robes with an intricate gold crown on her head. She looked like an empress, powerful and impressive. She had a severe look on her face and her eyes were a violet purple. It was such a unique and beautiful color and despite the burning along his back, Jin Ling stared at it; he had never seen such a hue before. He glanced down quickly catching the muted crackling of the purple whip at her side and realization hit him like a bolt of lightning.

_Zidian?! Madam Yu?? Grandmother?!_

She snorted with disdain, “What do you think?”

The gaudy woman, _LingJiao maybe?_ , countered her, “that was it?”

Madam Yu raised her brows, “What do you mean, ‘that was it’? What level of spiritual weaponry do you think Zidian is? Having had the beating, he won’t heal even after next month. It’d be enough for him to savor!”

 _Damn….Zidian?! Holy shit no wonder, I thought I was being fried to crisp….shit_ Jin Ling muttered to himself but his mouth didn’t move. His entire body was aching and burning but he tried to ignore it and focus on what was happening. 

_What the hell is going on??_

Wang LingJiao replied with that nasally voice, “but there’d come a time when he is healed, wouldn’t there?”

Suddenly Jin Ling heard another voice explode through the room. He knew that voice, that was definitely his uncle.

Jiang Cheng raged, “What else do you want?!”

And that simpering woman complained, “Madam Yu, since it’s a punishment, you must make him remember it for the rest of his life, regret it for the rest of his life, dare not to make the same mistake again. If all that he got was a few whips, he’d be jumping around again after a while of rest. Then what sort of punishment would that be? Boys his age are the easiest to forget pain after the wounds have healed. There’d be no use at all.”

Madam Yu countered, her voice dripping with ice, “What do you think, then? Chop off both of his legs so that he can’t jump around again?”

“Young Master Wen is kind. He wouldn’t do something as cruel as chop off both of his legs. If only his right hand is chopped off, then he wouldn’t ever care about this again.”

Another foreign thought drifted through Jin Ling, _listen to this insufferable little bitch just flaunting her connections, she just wants revenge ‘cause I shoved her off MianMian, useless piece of shit!_

_MianMian?? Who is that? And who is this? It can’t be…….Wei Ying, can it???_

Jin Ling was thinking hard, _is this Empathy?_ And he remembered the miasma of resentful energy that had engulfed him when he touched Wei WuXian’s forehead back in the clearing and he was forced to realize that for better or for worse he was stuck until Wei WuXian showed him whatever it was that was plaguing his heart. 

He focused again as Madam Yu’s thoughtful voice cut through the room. 

“Cut off his right hand?”

“That’s right.”

Jin Ling saw her glance at him and his, Wei WuXian’s, blood ran cold, his heart freezing in his chest. Jin Ling knew Wei WuXian still had both of his hands but he couldn’t help the fluttering fear in his belly. Empathy was a type of spiritual possession where the possessed would hear, feel and see things the possessor needed to share. It was dangerous since it left you open for a real possession if the spirit decided not to let you go but this was Wei WuXian and Jin Ling did not fear him regardless of his own ambivalent feelings. 

Madam Yu started circling Wei WuXian as though she was seriously considering cutting off his hand when Jin Ling noticed his uncle throwing himself over the prone body he was in.

“Mom, Mom, please don’t… The things aren’t how she said it to be at all…”

Wang LingJiao raised her voice, “Young Master Jiang, are you saying that I’m fabricking?”

Wei WuXian’s thoughts drifted through him again, _Fabricking? What’s fabricking? Fabricating?! Hahahahaha dumb bitch!_

And his thoughts manifested in a hoarse laugh that hurt when it tumbled out of his mouth. Jin Ling winced as those whip lashes stung even more. 

_How the hell can he laugh right now? Fuck this hurts….._ Jin Ling gritted his teeth, he was absolutely miserable. He felt like lines of fire burned down his back even though the impressive Zidian had long stopped its awful barrage.

“Madam Yu, think this through. The matter at hand, the Wen Sect will definitely get to the bottom of it. With his hand chopped off for me to bring back, it’d be a good enough explanation, and the YunmengJiang Sect would be fine. Or else, the next time when Young Master Wen asks, things wouldn’t be so simple anymore!”

An icy light flashed through Madam Yu’s eyes. Her voice was eerie, “JinZhu, YinZhu, quick, go close the doors. Don’t let the others see the blood.”

_JinZhu? YinZhu? I think those are the battle maids grandmother had???_

And that hoarse laughter faded from Jin Ling and Wei WuXian’s mind and cold fear took over running up and down his spine, _don’t tell me that she really is gonna chop off one of my hands?!_

Jin Ling heard Jiang Cheng’s desperate voice again, “Mom? Mom! What are you doing? Please don’t cut off his hand!”

And that cold fear passed when Wei WuXian clenched his teeth and his heart settled with resolve, _Let it be, then! If it’s in exchange for the peace of the sect… a hand is just a hand. Fuck, if worst comes to worst I’ll just practice the left-handed sword from now on!!!_

Jin Ling blinked, that thought echoing in his head, _did Wei Ying really mean that?_ Well this was his memory and it made Jin Ling feel odd. That was not something he had ever expected from the silly, flirty man he knew. He was not prepared to see Wei Ying’s bravery or his strength of will. Who would be able to be strong like that when they're about to get their hand chopped off?? And Jin Ling really didn’t know how to feel about those odd emotions in his chest. He wasn’t quite sure what he thought about all this. 

Wang LingJiao clapped her hands together, “Madam Yu, I knew that you must be the most obedient subordinate of the QishanWen Sect! Somebody, hold this brat down!”

“There is no need,” Madam Yu spoke calmly and Jiang Cheng called out in fear again.

“Mom! Mom listen to me! I beg you! Don’t cut off his hand! If Father knew…”

And the proud mistress of YunmengJiang snapped immediately, her voice hard with fury, “don’t talk to me about your father! What could happen if he knows? Could he kill me?!”

That snivelly, nasally bitch Wang LingJiao beamed, “Madam Yu, I just admire you so much! It looks like from now on, in the supervision office, we’ll get along well!”

Madam Yu turned around, brows raised, “Supervision office?”

“That’s right, supervision office. This is the second matter that I came to the YunmengJiang Sect for. The new supervision orders that came from our QishanWen Sect, calling for supervision offices to be built at every city. From now on, I declare that Lotus Pier is the supervision office of the Wen Sect at Yunmeng.”

 _What the fuck?! This bitch?! This is my fucking home! How dare you!_ Wei Ying raged in his heart, his righteous anger blowing through Jin Ling.

Jiang Cheng echoed him with an angry shout, “what supervision office?! This is my sect!!!”

Wang LingJiao scrunched her brows, “Madam Yu, you must discipline your son properly. Since hundreds of years ago, all of the sects have been under the Wen Sect. In front of the Wen Sect’s envoy, how could he say things like your sect and my sect? I had originally been hesitating. Lotus Pier is so old and it had brought out quite a few dissidents, so could it really take on the heavy responsibility of being a supervision office? But seeing how obediently you followed my orders and how your personality suits my taste, I’ve still decided to give this great honor to--”

Before she could finish, Madam Yu gave her a vicious, echoing slap.

Jin Ling’s eyes widened in surprise, his emotion mirrored by Wei WuXian’s.

The slap was shocking both in sound and in strength. Wang LingJiao was slapped with such force that she spun around a few times before finally falling to the ground. Blood gushing out of her nose, she widened her eyes.

The few of the Wen Sect’s disciples within the main hall were alarmed at once. All of them unsheathed their swords. With a wave of Madam Yu’s hand, a brilliant ring of purple light shot out of Zidian and a large portion of the disciples collapsed immediately.

With all her elegance, Madam Yu walked toward Wang LingJiao and looked down on her. Suddenly, she bent down and grabbed Wang LingJiao’s hair. Pulling her up, she gave her another slap of wrath, “How dare you?!”

She had been enduring this for too long. Face swollen, Wang LingJiao began to scream. Without holding back at all, Madam Yu gave her another slap, cutting off her ear-piercing shriek. She shouted, “You look at its owner before you hit a dog! You barged into my sect, and you want to punish my person in front of my face? What a thing you are, how dare you be so undisciplined?!”

As she finished, she threw Wang LingJiao’s head to the side. Like she considered it dirty, she took out her handkerchief and wiped at her hands. 

_That’s my Madam Yu!!!_ Wei WuXian grinned despite himself his heart full of pride for the mistress of his sect and Jin Ling found respect in his own heart for the woman he had only heard stories about.

Wang LingJiao covered her face with shaking hands, cheeks stained with tears, “How… How dare you do something like this… Neither the QishanWen Sect nor the YingchuanWang Sect will let you go!”

Madam Yu tossed her handkerchief on the ground before kicking her over, cursing, “Shut up! Such a scum of a maid—my MeishanYu Sect has roamed the cultivation world for hundreds of years, and I’ve never heard of some YingchuanWang Sect! Of which gutter did this menial sect crawl out?! Is it full of things like you? You mentioned the superior and the inferior before me? Then let me teach you what superiority and inferiority means! I am the superior, you are the inferior!”

Jin Ling felt the world tilt under him and he looked over to see a much younger Jiang Cheng hauling his arm up and if he had any doubts about who’s body he was in before, now he knew with certainty as he saw the black and red sleeves of his robes. 

He snapped back to attention as Wei WuXian stood up straight suddenly back on his feet again. His back was still burning and aching but Wei Ying pushed it back determined to do whatever he needed to do, though he wasn’t quite sure what that was seeing as how Madam Yu was laying down the law. 

Madam Yu looked behind her and Jin Ling saw two other women look over. They immediately unsheathed their long swords and circled the hall. With fast, merciless moves, they killed all of the Wen Sect’s disciples within seconds. 

Wang LingJiao saw that it’d soon be her turn. She threatened with the last of her strength, “You… You think that you can silence me? You think Young Master Wen doesn’t know that I’m here today? You think that he’ll let you go, after he knows about this?!”

One of the battle maids sneered, “You sound as if he has let us go already.”

“I’m close to Young Master Wen,” Wang LingJiao snivelled with her simpering voice, “I’m the closest one! If you dare do anything to me, he’ll…”

Madam Yu gave her another slap. She mocked, “He’ll do what? Cut our hands or our legs off? Or burn down our residence? Or lead thousands of people to raze Lotus Pier to the ground? Build a supervision office?”

One of the handmaids approached with her sword in hand and Wang LingJiao’s eyes were filled with fear. Kicking her legs, she shrunk back as she shrieked, “Somebody! Help! Wen ZhuLiu! Help me!”

_Wen ZhuLiu?! Core melting hand?! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!_

Jin Ling felt his heart fall into his stomach. He knew what that demon had done to his grandparents and had tried to do to his uncle. Thank his ancestors BaoShan SanRen had been able to save his core. He liked to hear that story a lot when he was younger, about how his uncle had braved the Immortal’s mountain to save his core so he could seek revenge against the Wens. 

But if Wen ZhuLiu was here did that mean this was the night Lotus Pier fell? Was that night part of Wei Ying’s regrets? But he didn’t do anything so how could he feel regret? He almost gave up his hand for his sect? That was nothing to feel regret about???

Jin Ling pursed his lips, a little confused and he felt his head turn with Wei WuXian to watch Madam Yu’s expression hardened. She placed one foot on Wang LingJiao’s wrist and unsheathed her sword. Just as the blade was about to fall, it was suddenly struck away.

Wei WuXian, Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng turned to look. The doors to the hall had already been blown apart, and a man of a tall physique barged inside. He wore black clothes and had on him a grave expression. 

_Fucking dog Wen ZhuLiu!!_

Wei Ying sneered in his heart but he turned back to watch what was happening. 

Her sword having fallen, Madam Yu held Zidian across her cheek, it was glowing against her face with the electric purple Jin Ling had seen so many times before. 

“Core-Melting Hand?”

Wen ZhuLiu’s voice was cold, “Violet Spider?”

One of Wang LingJiao’s hands was still under her foot. She felt so much pain that her features looked twisted, tears smeared all over, “Wen ZhuLiu! Wen ZhuLiu! Help me, help me now!”

Madam Yu snorted, “Wen ZhuLiu? Core-Melting Hand, isn’t your original name Zhao ZhuLiu? Your surname clearly wasn’t Wen, but you wanted to change your surname no matter what. Everyone’s rushing like ducklings. Is the surname of those Wen-dogs really that precious? Turning your back on your ancestors—how laughable!”

Wen ZhuLiu remained unswayed, seemingly indifferent, “Each serves their own master.”

The two of them had just exchanged a few words, yet Wang LingJiao began to scream again, unable to bear it, “Wen ZhuLiu! Don’t you see what I look like?! Why are you chit-chatting instead of killing her right now?! Is this how Young Master Wen told you to protect me?! Watch out or else I’ll denounce you!”

Madam Yu ground her foot into her arm and Wang LingJiao broke into a wail. Wen ZhuLiu, on the other hand, knit his brows. 

“Excuse me,” Wen ZhuLiu spoke politely and Wei WuXian wanted to sneer again and Jin Ling too by extension. 

Zidian flew out and Madam Yu shouted, “How pretentious!”

Wen ZhuLiu’s large hand snapped forward and he grabbed Zidian without any concern! 

Madam Yu paused for the slightest moment, shocked that he could hold the whip that was crackling with her killing intent and Wang LingJiao used the chance to scramble out. She took out a flare and shook it a few times and a light shot out with a sharp whistle, it rushed out of the wooden window and exploded in the sky outside. Then, she fumbled out a second one and a third one. Hair tangled around her bloody mouth, she mumbled, “Come… Come… Come here… Everyone, come here!”

_FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK?!_

Wei WuXian shoved Jiang Cheng after her yelling, “Stop her from sending any more signals!” 

Jiang Cheng lunged in the direction of Wang LingJiao. Yet, at the same time, Wen ZhuLiu was closing in on Madam Yu. He looked as if he was about to knock her down. Jiang Cheng hurried, 

“Mom!”

He immediately gave up on Wang LingJiao and threw himself over. Wen ZhuLiu didn’t even turn his head as he struck, “Not even close!”

Jiang Cheng’s shoulder suffered the attack. Blood immediately burst from his mouth. Outside the night was full of the sharp whistles and bright sparks as the Wen Sect flares exploded overhead.

Jin Ling felt Wei WuXian’s heart sink in his chest with dread. He knew with absolute certainty they would come, he knew those Wen dogs would march on Lotus Pier. His head snapped around with Madam Yu’s roar when she saw that Jiang Cheng was injured.

_Jiang Cheng?! Are you ok?!_

Jin Ling paused blinking again at the force of his concern.

_Did Wei Ying really care about jiujiu that way? I mean I thought they kinda didn’t really like each other all that much???_

But Jin Ling’s head turned again staring as Zidian sparked brighter with the intensity of Madam Yu’s feelings, becoming almost white in color!

 _Woah!!_ Jin Ling tried to gasp but Wei WuXian’s mouth didn’t move. He had never in his entire life seen Zidian go almost white. The power his grandmother must have had must have been incredible for her to turn its color like that. 

Wen ZhuLiu was blasted into the wall by Zidian’s sudden eruption. JinZhu and YinZhu pulled out two long, sizzling whips from their waists as well and began to fight him and their combined attacks were by no means to be reckoned with. 

Using the opportunity, Madam Yu grabbed Jiang Cheng and Wei WuXian and Jin Ling felt his body move as she rushed them down the steps and out into the surrounding training fields. 

They looked so different from how they looked now, the practice field was smaller and square in shape with hard packed dirt under their feet with several disciples milling about doing drills whereas the Lotus Pier training arena he knew was lined with stone and round and much larger. It was interesting to see it. Jin Ling felt jerked back to attention when Madam Yu commanded, her voice loud and bold.

“Get dressed and armed, now!”

Then she rushed onto the pier tossing Jiang Cheng and Wei WuXian onto a boat roughly. She jumped into it herself as well. She checked her son over quickly glancing down when he asked her, “Mom, what do we do?”

Madam Yu sighed a harsh, heavy sound. She was not a delicate woman, she was bold and imposing, a proud head of YunmengJiang and Jin Ling suddenly knew exactly where his uncle had gotten his personality from. 

She spoke with a heavy, biting voice, “what do you mean what do we do?! Can’t you see yet? They came here prepared! Didn’t you see the fleet of those Wen-dog warships in the bay?! Today’s fight couldn’t have been avoided. Soon afterwards there’ll be herds of those dogs arriving. Leave first!”

Wei WuXian spoke rapidly, uncertainty and dread pooling in his belly and Jin Ling could feel it creeping up his spine. He could feel everything Wei WuXian felt and his own heart shook in his chest with that cold dread.

“Then what about Shijie? Shijie went to Meishan the day before yesterday. If she comes back…”

 _Shijie?! MOM?!!!!!!!!?????!?!??!?!?!?!_ Jin Ling was floored, his heart roaring in his ears, was he going to get to see his mother?! 

But Madam Yu knocked him out of his head with the force of her venomous words.

She glowered, “Shut your mouth! It’s all because of you, you little…!”

Jin Ling gasped suddenly as a wave of guilt washed over him, shame and guilt that he had brought this upon the sect he loved, upon the people he loved and that powerful regret swelled up in his heart. It was too strong for this moment. It was the weight that had been on him back at the clearing under the spell of the Dream Eater. It was a weight of a lifetime of guilt not fitting for this space and time but Jin Ling gritted his teeth. 

He would be impartial and objective. A spirit could not lie under Empathy, what they felt at the time of the vision was true and in this scene Wei Ying was dragged down by shame and held down by guilt and it made Jin Ling pause. He had never considered the idea that Wei WuXian could feel shame, was grounded enough to recognize his actions. He had only ever seen Wei Ying being ridiculous and flirty, silly and wild. 

He was shocked for another moment when Wei WuXian actually kept quiet. That was a phenomenon he had never seen before but he understood too the respect and pride Wei WuXian had for his Sect Leader. He wondered for a moment if she was the only person he had ever curbed his tongue for. It was a side of him he had never seen and he was struck again with emotions he couldn’t quite understand, couldn’t quite name. 

~*~ 

Lan WangJi threw himself forward across the clearing towards the Dream Eater, his face pale as he tried to look passed it but all he could see was Wei Ying and Jin Ling collapsed on the ground with a panicky SiZhui who was hovering over Wei WuXian, his voice falling out of him desperately.

“Wei-qianbei! Wei-qianbei! Wei-qianbei! Wei-qianbei!!!!!!!!”

Lan Zhan was beside himself. He raised Bichen in an arc, slashing forward intending to stab the monster straight through its back but it turned immediately sensing him and snapped one of its remaining hands out, slamming into him and throwing him back across the clearing. He hit a tree hard, coughing up blood as he heard XiChen yell.

“WangJi!?”

Lan Zhan coughed again, stumbling to his feet as he spat out a mouthful of blood. Jiang Cheng leapt forward trying to get over to the other side intending to check on everyone. He couldn’t see them clearly in the dim light of the clearing but he definitely saw Jin Ling and Wei WuXian collapse. His heart was roaring in his ears and he ducked quickly as the Dream Eater spun towards him. 

“A-Cheng! We have to trap it! We have to kill it!” Lan XiChen called out as he focused himself. He took up his position at the North edge of the spirit trapping array and willed himself into his memories. He kept his eyes open staring as his lover parried those long, knife-like claws. 

“Li Kang, check on them!” Jiang Cheng roared, lunging back out the way of a swipe as the creature jumped straight for him. 

“Yes Sect Leader!” Li Kang dodged the fighting pair as HanGuang-Jun threw himself back into the fight, Bichen snapping out sword glares rapidly as he sought to disorient it when he caught sight of his brother standing motionless at the top of the net. 

“Brother?!”

“WangJi! We have to trap it, get to the West point and lure it in! We cannot save them while it’s still alive!!!”

Lan Zhan gritted his teeth as he leapt back over taking up his position and he dragged the worst memories out of his heart as fast as possible. He was so worried and he glanced over again at the group collapsed at the far end of the clearing, SiZhui’s unending cries of ‘Wei-qianbei’ leaving his blood cold. 

Li Kang skidded across the grass dropping to his knees immediately. He laid a glowing hand over SiZhui’s as he asked quickly. 

“What happened?!”

“The Dream Eater did something to him, I mean obviously,” he motioned jerkily to the hole in Wei Ying’s stomach, “but it’s more than that! He touched his forehead with that black jewel and Wei-qianbei passed out then Jin Ling did too when he touched Wei-qianbei’s forehead?!”

SiZhui was babbling, his voice a thousand miles a minute as he glanced worriedly between Jin Ling and Wei Ying. 

“Check on him!” Li Kang spoke roughly as he poured his spiritual energy into his hands. He tugged Wei WuXian up so that he was lying sideways and placed both of his hands on the hole in his stomach, one on his back and one on his front as he used his qi to stop the blood flow. He shook his bangs out of his face, sweat trailing down his cheeks. 

_Fuck this is bad_ He thought grimly as he gazed at the slack face of his Sect Leader’s brother. Wei Ying was white as death, his eyes closed and his breath so shallow and short. It really was a wonder he was still alive with the amount of blood loss he had sustained. 

“How’s Jin Ling?” He asked hoarsely glancing over to SiZhui who knelt beside the other boy.

“He’s breathing and his pulse is strong, he looks like he’s asleep?”

“What did he do before he fainted?”

“He touched the mark on Wei-qianbei’s forehead.”

“Hmmm….” Li Kang pursed his lips as he forced more power into his hands. He was no healer, he didn’t know the first thing about saving Wei WuXian but he had faced battle. He had learned to stop blood loss and for now that was all he could do. He glanced over his shoulder to check the fight watching as Lan WangJi, ZeWu-Jun and Jiang Cheng took up their positions on the spirit trapping net. They were wary of the creature but it had stopped fighting once they had stopped attacking it. Now it stood still canting its head around as its black tongue licked the air searching for its next victim. 

“SiZhui check his spiritual power”

SiZhui brushed Jin Ling’s hair back worriedly as he laid his other glowing hand on his lower abdomen to test his core. His heart was shivering in his chest. Two of the people he loved most were collapsed in the dirt, their faces slack and motionless and he felt panic bubble up inside him.

He yanked his mind out of the million what-ifs running through him and reported back. 

“His core is strong, I don’t know what happened….”

“Well for now lay him down and come help. Wei WuXian is in bad shape.”

SiZhui scooted over again laying his hands over Li Kang’s pushing his spiritual energy out to reinforce whatever his senior was doing. 

“Look SiZhui, I’m not a healer. All I can do is stop the blood loss, we have to kill this creature then we can focus on these two. Can you hold Wei WuXian or will you take up the last point on the net?”

SiZhui looked at him with wide, unsure eyes. He really didn’t know if he could do either of those things and for a second he was filled with fear. Fear he would fail Wei-qianbei, fear the man he thought of as a brother or a father would die right there in the dirt. Fear that Jin Ling wouldn’t wake up, fear that---

“SHIZUI!”

“I…...I will hold the net!” SiZhui leapt to his feet with sudden determination as he lunged forward to take up the southern point. He grimaced as the Dream Eater turned towards him and he yanked up his feelings of regret urging the beast into the glowing array under their feet. 

He glanced nervously at Lan WangJi but he was completely focused on the demon. 

“Focus SiZhui, we cannot do anything for them until we kill this creature.”

SiZhui pulled HanGuang-Jun's deep voice into his mind and settled his heart. He had to get himself together. He had to trap this beast and end this nightmare of a night. 

Lan XiChen glared at it as it took a firm step forward towards them and gritted his teeth dragging the worst, most horrible of memories up enticing it further. They could not seal the net until it was standing completely in the center. 

“WangJi, SiZhui stop with the regrets, Jiang Cheng and I will do it to get it closer, as soon as it’s in the middle we will snap the net!”

Lan Zhan nodded quickly as he glanced over to SiZhui at the southern tip of the array. He looked worriedly at him for a moment but SiZhui had no good news to share. 

The creature snapped its head towards XiChen’s voice and took another lumbering step further into the glowing lines of the spiritual sign on the ground when it opened its mouth wide and a voice they recognized fell out past its open fangs. 

“Stop her from sending any more signals!” 

Lan WangJi’s eyes widened in shock, that was Wei Ying’s voice?! He glanced over quickly catching Jiang Cheng’s wide blue ones as he recognized it too.

“Focus A-Cheng!”

Jiang Cheng gritted his teeth, his heart shivering in his chest as he heard words fall from this creature’s horrific mouth, words he remembered from what seemed like a lifetime ago. The voice was younger in timber and strong with panic and urgency. Jiang Cheng recognized it immediately. 

He forcefully emptied his mind as he called the beast forward and it took another step closer to him, it’s horrible mouth still open and another voice tumbled out. This one was a woman’s and Jiang Cheng completely lost track of his thoughts as he heard his mother’s voice for the first time in almost 20 years. 

“… Wei Ying! Damn little brat! I hate you! I hate you more than anything else! Look at what our sect has gone through for your sake!”

And that angry voice shifted and suddenly it was Wei Ying’s voice again.

_“Madam Yu?! No! Don’t go! Don’t go back?!?!?! NO! We can fight them together! Let’s protect the sect together?!” No No No No!”_

That voice sounded different almost like an echo and not spoken words and Jiang Cheng glanced over at XiChen with panic as he gestured to the creature but XiChen spoke sharply, “Focus!”

Lan XiChen watched it take the very last step into the center of the trap and the cultivators slapped their hands together in a clap and the talisman solidified into a golden net catching the creature. Wei Ying’s desperate echo-y voice cutting off as an inhuman roar cut through the clearing. 

The Dream Eater writhed in the array lunging and twisting about to get free but the cultivators held it firmly. They gritted their teeth against the strength of the demon. 

SiZhui glanced up through the canopy to gauge the moon and he swallowed heavily. It was still high in the sky and if he could judge correctly they still had about 5 hours until dawn when the hot rays of the sun would kill this gruesome beast. 

“Hold it fast!” XiChen called out and they struggled against it. Lan Zhan turned to SiZhui again. 

“What happened SiZhui!?”

SiZhui panted heavily as he poured his energy into the net to hold the bucking, writhing monster. He would hold this net even if it killed him.

“I don’t…..huff….know…..huff…..the…..the demon attacked Wei-qianbei and hurt him, bad and Jin Ling touched his head and then he collapsed. Li-qianbei is holding Wei-qianbei’s wound closed right now and no one knows what happened to Jin Ling and I’m so worried Hanguang-Jun!! If---”

“Hush SiZhui, explain exactly what happened in detail,” WangJi felt his hands curl into the currents of spiritual energy flowing out of him into the array. 

“The Dream Eater punched a…..a hole through Wei-qianbei’s st….stomach and touched his forehead with its black jewel. Then Jin Ling touched the mark on Wei-qianbei’s forehead and passed out, that’s all I know HanGuang-Jun…”

Lan Zhan gritted his teeth as he glanced back over to the other edge of the clearing but all he could see was Li Kang’s back. He turned as if to go to them when XiChen snapped across the array.

“WangJi!! Don’t drop the net!! We must kill it, we cannot save them unless we do, we need you WangJi!”

Lan Zhan turned back to the beast with panic looming in his heart but it was as XiChen said, they had to kill this creature. And for the next several hours they would listen to it howl and shriek and cry and moan with voices they hadn’t heard in almost 20 years as Wei Ying relived some of the worst memories of his life.


	3. Chapter 3

Jin Ling stared at the front of the boat watching the scene in front of them as Madam Yu took off the Zidian ring that she wore on her right hand and put it on Jiang Cheng’s right index finger. Jiang Cheng was shocked, “… Mom, why are you giving me Zidian?”

“I’ve given it to you, so it’ll be yours from now on! Zidian has already recognized you as its master.”

Jiang Cheng spoke again confused, “Mom, won’t you be leaving with us?”

Madam Yu stared at his face. Suddenly, she embraced him and kissed his hair a few times. With him in her arms, she murmured, “You are a good boy A-Cheng.”

And Wei WuXian’s heart fell like a rock into his stomach as he understood almost intuitively that she would not be coming with them. He swallowed dryly as he watched them embrace, the scene so poignant with feeling. 

She hugged him so tight that it seemed as if she wanted to turn him into a baby and stuff him back into her stomach, so that nobody could hurt him, nobody could tear them apart. Jiang Cheng looked completely shocked, his eyes wide.

With one hand holding Jiang Cheng, Madam Yu grabbed Wei WuXian’s lapels with her other hand shaking him and Jin Ling as though to strangle him to death. She spoke through clenched teeth, bitter, cold words falling from her mouth. 

“… You damn little brat! I hate you! I hate you more than anything else! Look at what our sect has gone through for your sake!”

Wei WuXian’s chest heaved up and down. He said nothing. He really couldn’t say anything and Jin Ling felt the heart in his chest grow heavy with that awful shame and guilt. He truly had no words to refute her. It was all his fault. Everything was his fault. Why did he always have to run his mouth? Why did he always stir up trouble? Why did his sect have to go through this because of his stupidity? Why could he never learn his damn lesson? And powerful shame burned through him again and Jin Ling was forced to acknowledge that maybe it wasn’t the power of the Dream Eater. Maybe Wei WuXian really did feel this way, hurt this way with the consequences of his actions. And he didn’t quite know what to do with that.

Jiang Cheng hurried to ask, “Mom, won’t you be leaving with us???”

Madam Yu let go at once. She pushed him onto Wei WuXian.

She leaped onto the dock and the boat rocked side to side amid the water of the lake. Wei WuXian had a sudden clarity of thought as he looked back at her regal form. JinZhu, YinZhu, all of the disciples, and all of the treasures that YunmengJiang Sect had passed down from one generation to the next were still inside Lotus Pier, unable to be evacuated within a short period of time. After this, a grim battle would have to happen. And as the Mistress of YunmengJiang, Madam Yu couldn’t and she wouldn’t flee.

Jin Ling through Wei WuXian was struck with the vision she cut, she was tall and proud there on the docks, her shoulders back and her spine long. She wore the crown on her head as if she were an empress, her chin firm with her determination and her amethyst eyes bold with the strength of her resolve. Jin Ling was deeply moved in this moment to see the incredible woman that was the Violet Spider of YunmengJiang. 

Jiang Cheng made to move, fear stark in his eyes. He stood up and tried to leave the boat as well, but currents suddenly shot out of Zidian. A rope of lighting tied around them fast anchoring them tightly to the boat. They couldn’t move at all. Jiang Cheng shouted, “Mom, what are you doing?!”

“Don’t make such a fuss. It’ll loosen up when you’re somewhere safe. If anyone attacks you on the journey, it’ll protect you as well. Don’t come back. Go to Meishan straight away and find your sister!”

After she finished, she turned to Wei WuXian and pointed at him, she spoke with a heavy commanding voice that curled around Wei WuXian’s heart like bonds of steel. 

“Wei Ying! You listen to me! Protect Jiang Cheng, protect him even if you die, do you understand?!”

_Madam Yu?! No! Don’t go! Don’t go back?!?!?! NO! We can fight them together! Let’s protect the sect together?!” No No No No!_

Wei WuXian called out hoarsely, emotions tumbling through his chest. She couldn’t go back and face them alone. He was strong, Jiang Cheng was strong. They should fight together! Protect their sect together! Defeat the Wens together! And Jin Ling felt fear at her leaving and rage at the whip that wrapped around him and the odd calm of the sure certainty that he would protect his shidi. He would do whatever he had to for his little brother. He would not dishonor the one thing Madam Yu had ever asked of him. And Jin Ling felt the mouth that was not his own open. 

“Madam Yu!”

The Mistress of YunmengJiang raged, “Did you hear me?! Don’t talk nonsense to me, I’m only asking you—did you hear me?!”

Wei WuXian couldn’t struggle out of Zidian. He could only nod his head, his heart so, so heavy in his chest with so much guilt and shame and fear and powerlessness. Jiang Cheng shouted, “Mom, Father isn’t back yet. If anything happens can’t we manage through it together first?!”

Madam Yu cursed with a loud voice, “So what if he’s not coming back? Can’t I do anything without him?!”

After this, she cut off the rope that leashed the boat with her sword and kicked the side hard. The water was fast and the wind was strong. Along with the kick, the boat drifted yards away at once. With a few spins, it sailed quickly yet steadily toward the center of the lake. Jiang Cheng wailed, “Mom!”

He shouted for dozens of times. His voice hoarse and wild with emotion and Jin Ling felt his and Wei WuXian’s hearts pull tight at the sound. However, Madam Yu and Lotus Pier were farther and farther away, smaller and smaller in the distance.

They struggled as hard as they could. Zidian hurting and almost cutting into their skin, digging into their bodies as it steadily refused to release. Desperation and panic swirling through Jin Ling as Wei WuXian fought to break the hold. He had to get loose! He had to defend his sect!

A mad roar rang from Jiang Cheng’s throat as he continued to struggle, “Why won’t it break?! Why won’t it break?! Break! Break!”

And Jin Ling felt that wild desperation dim inside him as the pain from his lashing drifted back into focus. He was in so much pain and he acknowledged that Zidian simply would not release. What’s more, his shidi was still injured so he called out through gritted teeth trying to ignore the fire running along the open skin of his back, “Jiang Cheng, calm down first. Facing the Core-Melting Hand, it’s not for sure that she’d lose. Back then, didn’t she hold Wen ZhuLiu back?”

Jiang Cheng roared, “How do you want me to calm down?! How could I calm down?! Even if Wen ZhuLiu is killed, that despicable woman has already sent out the signals. Those damn Wen-dogs had to see them!! What if they are leading people to lay siege on our sect right now?! You saw those warships Wei WuXian!! The fucking Wens showed up with a fucking army!”

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

He had seen those warships too, he saw every single one with their proud Wen flags darkening the waters of the Great Yunmeng Lake that surrounded Lotus Pier and he knew in his heart that there was no way for them to calm down. He couldn’t calm down, he was boiling with emotions and he turned to continue speaking when hope exploded over him and Jin Ling. 

_UNCLE!!! YES!! HE WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!_

_Uncle? Grandfather?? Wow!_ Jin Ling’s excitement bubbled up in him in time to Wei WuXian’s.

He shouted, “Uncle Jiang! It’s Uncle Jiang coming back!”

As he had said, a larger boat sailed toward them over the river.

Jiang FengMian was standing at the head of the boat and Jin Ling stared hungry for the image of his family. He was a strikingly handsome man with sharp features and broad shoulders with piercing light blue eyes, so pale they looked in turns blue then grey then blue again in the dim light of the moon above them and Jin Ling knew now where his uncle had gotten his looks. 

Jiang FengMian saw them as well. He looked somewhat surprised, “A-Cheng? A-Ying? What happened to you two?”

Jiang Cheng hurried to explain, “Father, Father let us go!”

Jiang FengMian looked at them, noticing the purple whip wrapped tight around them. Jin Ling’s heart was racing in his chest with Wei WuXian’s excitement and hope. 

“This is your mother’s Zidian. Zidian knows its masters. I don’t think it’d let me…”

As he spoke, he touched Zidian with his hand. However, just as he came into contact with it, Zidian retracted obediently. It immediately turned into a ring and wrapped itself around one of his fingers.

Jiang FengMian froze at once, surprise in his blue grey eyes. He asked immediately, “what is going on? Why would you two be tied to a boat by Zidian?”

Jiang Cheng clutched him tightly, words falling from his mouth in a rush, “Today the Wen Sect’s people were at our sect. Mom had an argument with them and started fighting with the Core-Melting Hand! Mom might be at a disadvantage. Later, there might be even more enemies. Father, let’s go back and help her! Let’s go!”

_YES YES YES UNCLE JIANG!!!! LET’S GO! LET’S SHOW THOSE WEN DOGS NOT TO MESS WITH OUR SECT!_

Wei Ying was almost vibrating with excitement. Uncle Jiang would never leave Lotus Pier defenseless. He would go back and they would go with him and Madam Yu would be safe and the disciples would be safe and they would destroy those piece of shit Wen-dogs!!!

Hearing this, all of the disciples looked shocked. Jiang FengMian asked, “The Core-Melting Hand?!”

Jiang Cheng, “Yes, Father! We…”

Before he could finish, a purple light flashed and Jiang Cheng and Wei WuXian were tied up again. In the position that they had been, the two collapsed onto the smaller boat. Jiang Cheng’s face was blank, “… Father?!”

_FUCK NO FUCK NO NO NO FUCK FUCK FUCK!_

Wei WuXian paled immediately, panic and desperation swirling around in his belly as Jiang FengMian stood up, “I’ll go back. You two leave. Don’t turn in any way. Don’t return to Lotus Pier. After you reach the shore, try to go to Meishan as soon as possible to find your sister and your grandmother.”

_NOOOOOO!!!!_

“Uncle Jiang!!!” Wei WuXian called out, his stress leaking into his voice and Jin Ling trembled a little at the vortex of panic and disbelief that roared through him. He could barely feel those whip lashes under the adrenaline running up and down his spine. Wei Ying’s emotions were boiling under his skin. He couldn’t deal with this. He simply could not accept that he wouldn’t be able to fight with his people, that he would have no way to defend his home, that the man he loved like a father was going to walk into a war without him, without them. It was inconceivable and he jerked in his bonds, his arms straining to fight against Zidian.

_NO! NO! NO! UNCLE JIANG! NO!_

Jiang Cheng kicked the side of the boat furiously and he cried out, “Father let me go! Let me go!”

“No, I will go back to find the Madam.”

Jiang Cheng glowered at him, “We can go back and find her together, can’t we?!”

_YES! JIANG CHENG YES TOGETHER!! LET’S FIGHT THEM TOGETHER!!!_

Jiang FengMian stared into his son’s eyes. Suddenly, he reached out. Only after pausing in the air did he finally touch Jiang Cheng’s head, slowly, “A-Cheng, be well.”

Wei WuXian felt his heart drop hard, that desperation growing cold in his chest. That was not a normal goodbye, that screamed of determination, of resolve, of farewell as if the imposing man before them knew the intensity of the battle he would face and he did not plan on seeing them again. Wei WuXian simply could not hold his tongue any longer, his voice falling out of him with that icy dread. 

“Uncle Jiang, if anything happens to you, he won’t be well.”

Jiang FengMian turned his eyes to him, “A-Ying… you must look after him...”

He returned to the larger boat. The two boats brushed against each other before parting and drifting farther and farther away. Jiang Cheng shouted in despair, “Dad!!!”

That voice was so hoarse and wild, so full of desperation and it struck Jin Ling in the heart like the bolt of an arrow. He didn’t want to see this anymore. Whether it was Wei WuXian’s dread or his own Jin Ling knew now with a sinking feeling that this would indeed be the Fall of Lotus Pier. 

He knew what was coming, he had read about it. He had read the dry, matter of fact history books that told how the Wens marched on YunmengJiang with the Core-Melting Hand massacring everyone in their paths. They destroyed the structures and burned down the buildings with nothing but the dead in their wake.

But Wei WuXian was not finished with him yet and it was with tears in his eyes that he struggled with him to fight off the bonds of Zidian. He knew logically he was nothing more than a spirit and he could no more change this memory than he could change the course of history but he fought tooth and nail to get out of that whip, the sounds of his uncles grunting and crying out with hoarse screams and shouts as they struggled and kicked hard at the side of the boat blended into Wei WuXian’s immense desperation spurring him on. There was nothing in his mind right now, not the gaping lashes on his back, not the past, not the future, nothing but white hot determination to get loose, to get back home, to do something, anything to protect the people he loved. 

Jin Ling wished with his whole heart to be there for real, to release that whip, to fight with his family and protect his mother’s sect so profound was the despair in Wei WuXian’s heart. And even when he was forced to accept that Zidian would not release, he still fought on with force and strength but Zidian was a top tier weapon and no one could break out of it. 

The boat drifted down the current and after an hour or two or three, they couldn’t tell, Zidian loosened. It became a silver ring around Jiang Cheng’s finger.

Jiang Cheng stared at it for a moment falling quiet and a look of determination crossed his face, he glanced at Wei WuXian for a second and as one they dropped their arms over the sides of the boat and began to paddle back with nothing but their hands. 

They didn’t speak and Jin Ling couldn’t speak either. He could barely breathe past Wei WuXian’s strength of will. His impossible resolve to get back home; his hand scooping through the heavy lake water over and over with fast rhythmic strokes. He would not be denied. He would not run with the enemy on their doorstep. If they wanted to keep him out they would have to kill him. He couldn’t feel the lashes on his back anymore so focused he was, adrenaline rushing through him in waves, his heart pounding in his chest. 

Jin Ling couldn’t spare a moment to even think so engulfed he was in this scene. Wei WuXian had to get back, they had to get back. Madam Yu was there, Uncle Jiang was there, all of his shidis were there, his friends were there, his juniors and his seniors were there, his teachers were there, everything was there, his heart was with YunmengJiang and he, they, would not let those damn Wen-dogs take them! 

It was two hours later, two hours trapped in the maelstrom that was Wei Ying’s unwavering determination that they finally returned to Lotus Pier.

It was already late into the night and the gates were tightly shut. Outside, lights glowed brightly and fragments of moonlight flowed along the clear water. Dozens of large lanterns in the shape of nine-petaled lotuses floated by the dock in silence. The empty Wen warships rolling gently with the current of the lake.

Everything was the same as it was before and yet, because of that Wei WuXian’s heart trembled in his chest. There were no voices, there were no sounds, nothing to break this eerie silence. It was too quiet and it filled him with creeping dread but he simply refused to acknowledge it. He would not think about it. He would see for himself before he let any thought cross his mind because he knew deep in his heart that if he let his emotions loose, he would lose it. 

They paddled the boat to the other side of the lake sneaking up behind an old willow tree. They kept low to the ground and Wei WuXian tugged at Jiang Cheng whispering, “This way.”

He could tell how rattled Jiang Cheng was and he was much the same but someone had to keep it together. Madam Yu and Uncle Jiang had told him to protect his shidi and he would do that even if it killed him. He kept glancing over to make sure Jiang Cheng was following him, holding fast to his heart, to his worries, to his fears, to his concern for his brother. 

He steadily refused to consider any possibilities. He refused to think about those empty warships, about this deafening silence, about Madam Yu and Uncle Jiang and Jin Ling could feel it. He could feel the iron clad control he had over himself just as surely as he could feel the simmering panic that boiled just beneath the surface. He knew, because Wei WuXian knew, that if he took one second to touch those feelings he would fall apart. 

They crept further up, scaling the wall in front of them to peek inside and he froze, his heart trembling in his chest as it fell to his feet. 

There on the training fields of Lotus Pier were rows and rows of people in the bold robes of the blazing QishanWen Sect sun.

But worse was when he chanced a look around the arena and his blood froze in his veins. His entire body was shivering. There were mounds of bodies stacked along the perimeter of the field. People were thrown haphazardly onto each other and it was hard to tell the shapes apart. The only thing that really registered were the layers of purple YunmengJiang robes, layers and layers and layers. The mounds of bodies were stacked as tall as man and Wei WuXian felt his throat go dry. 

Tears pooled up in his eyes and Jin Ling was suddenly drowning in grief as Wei Ying’s sharp grey eyes caught on the silhouettes of his friends, his shidis, his shixiongs, disciples he had played with, had trained with, had cried and laughed with. 

The scene was so horrifying, he was rooted to the spot, shock drifting over him. He felt disconnected as though this couldn’t be real, as though this was just some nightmare and he would wake up and go shoot kites with them again. 

But he was no child and he knew this was real. He knew the Wen-dogs standing in his home were real and their hands were dyed red with the blood of his family. His breath grew short, staggered puffs of air in his nose as hysteria started to creep in on him. He couldn’t fathom this. He could not compute what he was seeing and Jin Ling tried to blink back the tears in his eyes but Wei WuXian was unmoving. He was frozen in place, shocked numb. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t even move.

Suddenly a person standing at the northwestern corner with his back to them seemed to have picked up on something and turned around and Wei WuXian felt adrenaline spike in his veins jerking him into motion. He ducked his head quickly, yanking Jiang Cheng down with him. He could not fall apart now. He had to get his shit together. He had his little brother to worry about. Madam Yu and Uncle Jiang had told him to protect him and he _would_ do that, he _had_ to do that. 

Jin Ling felt him blink his tears back and that ironclad strength of will drifted over him as Wei WuXian pulled himself together. He shoved his feelings deep down inside him and closed them off. He could not think about those piles of bodies right now. He had a duty to Madam Yu and Uncle Jiang and he would not dishonor them and what’s more, he loved his little brother. He would not and could not lose him too and Jin Ling felt that deep emotion Wei WuXian had for Jiang Cheng and he realized that regardless of whatever had happened between them in the future, in this space and time, Wei Ying loved his brother, saw him as family and he was ferocious in his desire to protect him. 

Jin Ling had only a moment to consider that endless love. It was so unexpected. Wei Ying loved with his whole heart, his entire being was almost vibrating with his need to take care of his shidi and Jin Ling relented. He could not continue to view Wei WuXian through the lens he knew him from. This Wei Ying was the antithesis to that flirty, shallow man who lived his life with laughter and silly pranks, his face bright and carefree with his teasing grins. The Wei Ying he knew was nothing at all like this man and he forced himself to be as objective as he could. He would get to know this Wei WuXian. He would look upon him with an open heart for how could he not with the unending concern and desperate love that was flowing through his heart around the uncle Jin Ling loved too. 

Wei WuXian considered the boy who had almost caught them. He looked to be about the same age as them with a slender physique and delicate features, though his pale complexion contrasted against his deep-black eyes. Although he was wearing the sun-and-flame robes, he didn’t have that imposing of a demeanor. He seemed a bit too gentle, the sun patterns on his robes indicated he was probably a young master of the Wen Sect.

Jin Ling frowned lightly, that boy had looked vaguely familiar but where in the world had he ever had the chance to meet some random Wen? But the thought was pushed from his mind as Wei WuXian’s thoughts blew through him with tight tension.

_Did he see us? Do we run right? Now? Or did he not see us? Should we wait?_

Suddenly, a thin crying voice came from over the wall. Among the sound of footsteps, a man spoke in a gentle voice, “Don’t cry. Your face is all smeared.”

Wei WuXian’s heart suddenly burned in his chest with white hot fury. It was boiling in his veins and Jin Ling gasped at the ferocity of his hatred. 

_FUCKING DOG WEN CHAO!!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL YOU SACK OF WET SHIT!!!!_

Jin Ling was both infuriated with Wei WuXian’s emotions and curious at the same time. He wanted to see who this monster was. He had read so many books and heard so many tales of his despicable conduct and he really did want to know what this dog looked like. 

Soon after though, Jin Ling heard that high nasally voice again. _Ugh Wang LingJiao?!_

She sniffed, “Is it that you won’t like me anymore if my face is all smeared?”

Wen Chao cooed in a sickeningly sweet voice, “how could that be? No matter what JiaoJiao looks like, I will like her.”

Wang LingJiao spoke emotionally, “I’m really so, so scared… Today I really… I was so close to really believing that I’d be killed by that bitch and won’t ever get to see you again… Young Master Wen… I…”

_THAT’S MADAM YU YOU TWO FACED RAT!!_

Wei WuXian was almost choking on his hatred as he listened to them, his gaze falling on Jiang Cheng who was staring at him with wide angry eyes as the couple continued with their disgusting affections. 

“Stop talking, JiaoJiao. It’s alright now. What a good thing that Wen ZhuLiu protected you.”

Wang LingJiao complained, “You’re still mentioning him?! Wen ZhuLiu, I hate him. If it weren’t for him arriving so late today, I wouldn’t have suffered so much at all. Even now my face still hurts so, so much! Look at him. He’s clearly only a mere subordinate under your command, yet he’s so arrogant. Back then, I wanted to slap that Yu bitch on the face, and he didn’t even let me. She’s dead already—it’s only a corpse! He’s looking down on me, so it means that he’s also looking down on you, doesn’t it?”

Wei WuXian’s heart died in his chest, he felt his legs turn to water under him and he stumbled in place stunned. He stared straight ahead foggily, his mind completely blank in bold refusal. He could not compute that. There was no way his Madam Yu was dead. She was strong, she was the strongest out of all of them. But Jiang Cheng collapsed to his knees by the wall they hid behind right in front of him and he almost fell all the way down before Wei Ying grabbed the labels of his robes quickly, instinctively pulling him back.

He felt completely numb, disconnected, unable to reconcile those words in his head but just as quickly he felt his hold on his emotions disappear as great big tears welled up. His hands falling to the ground as his legs crumpled under him. In front of him Jiang Cheng had those same tears in his eyes. They fell from their lashes in long wet trails along their cheeks, splashing onto the back of their hands to disappear into the dirt and Jin Ling wept with them.

He could not seem to find it in his heart to remain objective, to separate himself from Wei WuXian. Empathy was indeed the right name for this spell for he felt their grief as though it was his own and never before in his entire life had he felt so heartbroken as when he knelt there in the dirt with the only family he had left as they mourned their sect, moured their parents and mourned their friends. 

And they sat there collapsed in front of each other trapped in a vortex of sorrow that knew no end and on and on those tears ran down their faces as they listened to Wen Chao.

“Don’t mind him JiaoJiao. That’s just how his personality is, quite odd. It was something along the lines of ‘death over humiliation’. He was the one who killed her, so what was the point of talking about such things?”

Wang LingJiao agreed, “That’s right. What hypocrisy!”

Wen Chao laughed, Wang LingJiao gloated and Wei WuXian felt cold, hard hatred well up within him with all the force of a typhoon. It was so intense it was as if a veil of red descended over his gaze and Jin Ling knew with sudden certainty that Wei WuXian would kill them. 

Even if he didn’t already know the YiLing Laozu had ended up killing them after all, he could feel it in Wei Ying’s heart. He could feel that black darkness that took the heart in his chest, one way or another he would take their lives like they had taken so much from him and Jiang Cheng. 

“That bitch Yu----”

Jin Ling blinked and between one breath and the next suddenly the scene changed before his eyes. He gasped, panting, huffing hard, his heart racing in his chest. He, Wei WuXian, was running, he was flat out sprinting through the woods after Jiang Cheng and on and on they ran through the trees and out into a field of tall grass. 

For how long they ran, Jin Ling didn’t know all he could feel were the lashes burning on his back, his lungs straining for air as he pushed his body faster trying to catch up to Jiang Cheng, the thick grasses rushing passed them in the darkness of the night. 

He could still hear the laughter of the Wen dogs in his ear, the nasally simpering song Wang LingJiao sang echoing around in his head blending in with the scathing disregard that Wen Chao spit out all over the dead bodies of his people. It cut through his aching heart and his vision narrowed before him. He could suddenly see the faces of his friends, of his family in an endless parade across his mind, their eyes dead and their faces pale and bloody and still they ran.

Jiang Cheng was a dark blur in front of him when he suddenly stopped in the grass spinning around on his heel. He took one step back the way they came when Wei WuXian snapped his hand out catching his wrist.

“Jiang Cheng, what are you doing?! Don’t go back there!”

Jiang Cheng shook his hand away, “Don’t go back there?! Are you serious? You’re telling me not to go back there? My parents’ bodies are still in Lotus Pier—could I leave just like this? Where could I go if I don’t go back?!”

Wei WuXian tightened his grip, “What could you do if you go back now? They’ve killed even Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu. All that’s waiting for you is death!”

Jiang Cheng wrenched his arm free and shouted, “Death it is, then! If you’re scared of death then get lost—don’t block my path!”

Wei WuXian lunged for him, “Revenge is never too late. We must bring back the bodies but not now!”

Jiang Cheng dodged to the side before attacking with a fast punch, “When does not now mean? I’ve had enough of you—get lost right now!”

Wei WuXian lunged back out of the way before he shouted hoarsely, “Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu said for me to look after you, for you to be well!”

“Shut up!” Jiang Cheng shoved him hard, roaring, “Why?!”

Wei WuXian was thrown back into the bushes and Jiang Cheng threw himself over him. He grabbed Wei WuXian’s collar and shook him hard, his face was an ugly mask of grief, twisted with rage, his blue eyes so dark and almost glittering with his fury and his heartache.

“Why?! Why Wei WuXian?! Just why?! Are you happy?! Are you satisfied?!”

He dropped his hand hard and wrapped his fingers around Wei WuXian’s neck digging into the skin as he stared down at him with red bloodshot eyes, “Why did you save Lan WangJi?!”

Jin Ling was stunned, he could feel that heavy hand on his throat constricting tighter and tighter but instead of panic, Wei WuXian was suddenly thrown from desperation and panic to guilt, deep, dark guilt that was so heavy, so profound that Jin Ling thought he’d choke on that instead. 

He couldn’t breathe under the raw guilt in Wei Ying’s heart. It was all his fault. Madam Yu and Uncle Jiang were dead because of him, Lotus Pier was destroyed because of him and that guilt swirled up with his regret. Regret that he could not control himself back in the cave of the Xuanwu of Slaughter, regret that he was unable to sacrifice MianMian, unable to sacrifice Lan WangJi for his people but what could he have done? He didn’t have it in him to let people just die. He did not have a single bone in his body to be cold in the face of injustice and that regret caught hold of his heart and squeezed. 

He rasped out hoarsely trying to form words as Jiang Cheng pressed harder into his windpipe and he tugged at his wrist weakly, “Jiang Cheng…”

Jiang Cheng roared in his face, “Why did you save Lan WangJi?! Why did you have to speak up?! How many times have I told you not to stir up trouble! Not to strike! Do you really want to play the hero so much?! Have you seen what happens when you play the hero?! Huh?! Are you happy now?!

“Lan WangJi and Jin ZiXuan and those people can just die! Just let them die! What’s their deaths got to do with us?! To do with our sect?! Why did this have to happen?! Why?! JUST LET THEM DIE, LET EVERYONE DIE! WHY DO WE HAVE TO DIE BECAUSE YOU SAVED THEM WEI WUXIAN!!!”

Jin Ling’s head was reeling. What was Jiang Cheng talking about? How could he just let people die? What happened at the Cave of the Xuanwu of Slaughter? How could he just let HanGuang-Jun die, let his dad die? How was that possible? Was all of this because Wei WuXian saved them? How could that be right?? 

Suddenly Wei WuXian’s thoughts cut into his own, _why did it have to be this way?! Why do the ones I love have to suffer the consequences of my actions? Why wasn’t I able to let them die that day! Why?! Why?! Why?! Why do I have to be this way? Damn those Wens! Damn them to hell! What the fuck is wrong with me? Why did I have to do this to the people I loved? It’s all my fault. Everything is my fault._

Jin Ling couldn’t straighten out his thoughts under the barrage of guilt hammering through him and he recognized that despite Wei WuXian’s hatred of himself he would save that girl MianMian and Lan Zhan again. He was simply incapable of letting injustice happen right before his eyes. He did not have it in him to stand by while the Wens raised hell. It was impossible, he could not change his heart and that guilt turned into a weight dragging him under. 

But he could not fault Jiang Cheng. He was right. If he had just left well enough alone, just let those people die, his sect would still be standing, his family, his friends would still be alive. It truly was all his fault. He wished he was cold, wished he could have been selfless that day, selfless enough to sacrifice those people in that cave for his sect but it just wasn’t possible. He could never do that and he ached with physical pain. What kind of world was this that you would lose everything for saving the lives of others? How was that fair, how was that right? 

Wei WuXian’s face turned red under Jiang Cheng’s hands, his voice hoarse and strained and he shouted, “Jiang Cheng!!!”

The hand around his neck suddenly loosened and Wei WuXian gasped for breath, his throat hurting and throbbing. 

Jiang Cheng glowered at him and angry, desolate tears rolled down his cheeks, a hollow, horrible cry falling from his lips, his voice hoarse and wild with sorrow. 

He spoke through his tears, “… I want my parents, my parents…”

He was asking Wei WuXian for his father and his mother. Yet, no matter whom he asked, he would never be able to have them back again.

Wei WuXian gritted his teeth as that horrible regret gave way to grief, a tsunami of pain and heartache and tears dripped from his lashes as he listened to Jiang Cheng sob, his voice cracking as he begged and begged him for the one thing Wei Ying could not give him. 

“Give them back Wei WuXian….please give them back…..please….”

And Jin Ling wept with them as they laid collapsed in the grass, their shoulders shivering and their chests heaving with broken breaths and those desolate sobs. And Jin Ling wished dimly that this horrible night would end. He pleaded for Wei WuXian to release him because it hurt so much to watch them cry. It sliced his heart open and left him raw as he hovered there with them, ached there with them. 

Wei WuXian’s sorrow knew no end, that grief blowing through Jin Ling as they cried and cried and cried there in the darkness of the night with nothing but Jiang Cheng’s heart broken sobs in his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :( sob* it will get better....I promise


	4. Chapter 4

Jin Ling blinked and that awful night disappeared and suddenly it was day again. They were walking with heavy feet along a beaten path of packed dirt heading towards a small city though which Jin Ling didn’t know. 

_This must be another memory…_

Jin Ling thought morosely. He didn’t know how much more of this heartache he could take. His, Wei WuXian’s head was pounding in his temples and his back ached dully. He glanced next to them to check on Jiang Cheng again. 

His heart was worn and weary, numb and empty. He had cried every single tear he had last night and now in the cold light of day he felt nothing anymore, nothing but vague concern as he kept checking on his little brother. 

Jiang Cheng was silent, his steps just as heavy as they trudged into the small town. Wei WuXian led them into a little alleyway and pushed Jiang Cheng down gently onto an old crate. He considered his shidi for a moment. 

“Stay here, ok? I’m going to get us some food or something, ok?”

But Jiang Cheng didn’t answer him. He looked awful, exhausted with a blank stare in his eyes as he gazed at the stone wall in front of him. 

“Jiang Cheng, you have to promise to stay right here, ok? I won’t be long, you will stay here right?”

Jiang Cheng neither answered him nor nodded and Wei WuXian sighed, “Please stay here ok, don’t go anywhere I’ll be right back.”

Jin Ling sighed heavily as more sadness drifted over him while they stared at Jiang Cheng. He was just as exhausted, worn down from the heartache and he couldn’t tell if it was Wei WuXian’s feelings or his own as he considered his uncle and his desolate stare. 

Wei WuXian told him multiple times not to move before finally walking away. He walked quickly around the market grabbing buns and a few dumplings and a lot of dried food for them to eat on the way to Meishan. In less than thirty minutes, he returned to that little alleyway.

He stopped short stunned but Jiang Cheng was gone.

His heart skipped a beat and his blood ran so cold in his veins he almost froze. His heart lunged up into his throat as panic bubbled up inside of him.

_FUCK!!! WHY DID I LEAVE HIM ALONE! SHIT SHIT SHIT JIANG CHENG?!?!?!?!?_

He felt an edge of hysteria creep up his spine but he shoved it down hard as he got a hold of himself. Jiang Cheng was exhausted, he couldn’t have gone far and he dumped the food, shoving only the steamed buns into his sleeves before dashing back out into the street.

Jin Ling swallowed dryly as he put two and two together. He hoped against hope that this was not where his uncle lost his core. That would be horrible and he had absolutely no desire to see it but he was nothing but a spirit, powerless to help, powerless to stop this. Wei WuXian’s grip on him was tight with the weight of his regrets and if Jin Ling knew the man that was this Wei Ying, he knew he would feel nothing but more guilt and more regret if Jiang Cheng did in fact return to Lotus Pier.

And he raged silently in his heart torn between worry and anger. How could Jiang Cheng just leave? Why would he do that when there was nothing but Wens back there? How could he get revenge on the Wens as weak and exhausted as he was? Was his uncle really this foolish? Was he really so…...so broken and battered that he couldn’t think clearly? And Jin Ling felt his ire cool immediately. Of course he was. He had just lost everything in one night, there was no way he was even thinking.

And the scene shifted again and Jin Ling and Wei WuXian were suddenly sprinting madly through the fields, through the long swaying grasses they had slept in the night before. His feet pounding the ground. He ran as though possessed, his heart hammering in his chest, panic clawing at his throat. If Jiang Cheng had returned to Lotus Pier….

He couldn’t even think about that. He simply could not compute that thought. The Wens would kill him and that was something Wei Ying would not accept. He pushed his body harder but exhaustion was creeping over him and his legs faltered, weak and trembling. 

He felt faint, panic almost choking him and he stumbled falling flat into the dirt, his face slamming into the ground. He laid there for a moment as an overwhelming mixture of hatred and helplessness rose up from Wei WuXian’s chest. 

_Dammit! Fucking dammit!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK_

He slammed his fists hard into the ground, tears collecting in his eyes again as a maelstrom of anger and guilt, regret and desperation and wild, horrible helplessness reared up inside him and Jin Ling closed his eyes with him. He felt those awful emotions run their course blowing over them. 

Empathy was the worst. It was the absolute worst. He was so powerless, nothing but an unwilling spectator to Wei Ying’s anguish and he willed himself into corporeal form. He begged and pleaded for a way to grab his arm and haul him up from the ground as Wei Ying sobbed with hard, angry tears, his fists balling up against the dirt. Jin Ling wanted to pull him up and loop his arm around his shoulder so he could help him, support him. It was torture watching this moment, watching his moment of weakness.

Wei WuXian sniffed and dragged his fist across his nose as he pulled himself together. Jiang Cheng needed him. He had to find his shidi, he absolutely had to find him and keep him safe. He would not let Madam Yu and Uncle Jiang down. He would not survive it if he lost one more person in his family to the Wens. 

And Jin Ling felt that torrent of emotions ebb. Wei WuXian gathered himself and his resolve settled around his shoulders with steel, his determination suddenly burning through his heart. He would find his little brother and he would save him if he had to and if he couldn’t he would die right there with him. There was no other way and he crawled back up to his feet and yanked a bun out of his sleeve. 

He ate it with big bites, shoving it into his mouth quickly as he started to run again faster than before, need to find Jiang Cheng palpable in his gut and even though Jin Ling knew logically everyone was happy and healthy, in this space and time he feared the worst, his heart roaring in his ears with Wei WuXian’s heaving chest as he sprinted down the path through the trees.

He ran and ran, the taste of blood, of iron climbing into his chest and throat as he finally arrived back at Lotus Pier. Night had fallen again, the moon casting a pale light across the water of the lake.

He dropped his hands to his knees panting heavily. 

_Where is he?! Why haven’t I caught up to him, he’s just as tired as I am and he hasn’t eaten anything in a day?! Did he maybe go to Meishan instead?? No I can’t assume anything, let’s check the pier first…._

He crept along the edge of the trees around that big willow again, his heart shivering in his chest. He swallowed down that rusty, coppery taste in his mouth as twin pools of anxiety and dread collected in his belly. He didn’t know what he would do if he heard them talking about Jiang Cheng’s corpse. 

If Jiang Cheng’s body lay crumpled on the training field he would…...he would…….

_Do nothing….I can do nothing…..Madam Yu is dead, Uncle Jiang is dead, I don’t even have my sword. What the hell can I do anyway?!_

And that awful helplessness drifted over his heart again. He despaired. What could he do? What could anyone do in the face of the terrifying might of the QishanWen Sect. It was like facing a dragon, a demon of chaos that devoured everything in its path and he felt so incredibly small in that moment, that dread curling around him like a black shadow blending into the darkness of the night.

Wei WuXian sniffed for a moment, his eyes felt so warm, a tingling in his nose as tears tried to well up again but he shoved it back down, forcing himself back down. He had to find Jiang Cheng. Nothing else mattered. There was simply nothing else more important than finding and protecting his little shidi. 

Jin Ling observed his surroundings as he accepted that unwavering determination that Wei WuXian pulled around them again and he watched the scene continue. He had long stopped judging or trying to reconcile this man with the Wei Ying he knew. He could not be subjective anymore. Everything was spirling from bad to worse and there was nothing he could do but follow the trail of Wei WuXian’s broken heart. 

They turned the corner when, suddenly, a shadow dressed in the sun-and-flame robes walked toward them. Wei WuXian moved then with lightning speed, he slammed into the person throwing them back into the wall, one hand holding their hands and one around their throat, his heart pounding in his veins with adrenaline. 

_Who??_ Jin Ling wondered for a moment as he gazed through Wei Ying’s dark grey eyes. This person looked oddly familiar which was impossible right? There was no one he knew who was a Wen????

“Don’t make any noise! Or else I can break your neck at once!” Wei WuXian hissed venomously and resolve settled over his mind. He would kill this man. It didn’t matter that he had never killed anyone before. This was a Wen and any and all Wens were enemies. 

The person spoke hurriedly, his voice coming out soft and stuttering “Y-Young Master Wei, it’s m-me!”

It was the voice of a boy. Hearing this, Wei WuXian’s first reaction was, _Maybe it’s one of the people I know, wearing the Wen Sect’s robes to spy amongst them?_

But the voice was completely unfamiliar. He rejected the thought at once and his grip tightened,

“Don’t play any tricks!”

The boy spoke again, “I… I’m n-n-not playing any tricks. Young Master Wei, y-you can look at my face.”

_Look at his face? Maybe he’s hidden something inside his mouth and he’s prepared to spit it out? Maybe I should just kill him now??_

Keeping his guard up, he turned the person’s face around. The boy’s features were gentle, almost effeminate. A youthful handsomeness surrounded him. This was the young master of the QishanWen Sect whom they had seen when peeking yesterday.

Jin Ling froze, his brown eyes widening in shock as he stared at the boy's face before him. It was delicate and soft with elegant angles and those almond shaped black eyes shook his heart. 

_WEN NING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?_ Jin Ling paled for a second. He had only known Wen Ning as the most powerful ferocious corpse the YiLing Laozu had ever created and he too knew him as an odd ally when he went night-hunting with SiZhui and JingYi. He felt the same ambivalent feelings towards him that he felt towards Wei WuXian. He wanted to like him and he wanted to hate him simultaneously and unable to come to terms with his emotions, Jin Ling had pushed him away too. He could not reconcile the man with the murder of his father. 

Wei WuXian however was indifferent, _I don’t know him._

He turned the boy’s face back around and continued to hold his neck. He glanced around the empty hallway checking they were alone before ordering in a low voice, 

“Who are you?!”

The boy seemed a bit disappointed, “I… I’m Wen Ning.”

Wei WuXian frowned, “Who is Wen Ning?”

_Who cares who he is? No matter what, he’s someone with a rank. With him in my hands, maybe I could do an exchange!_

Wen Ning spoke slowly, “I… A few years ago, during the Discussion Conference at Qishan, I… I… was shooting arrows…”

Hearing how slow he was, impatience rushed up in Wei WuXian. He fumed, “You what?! Are you a stutterer?!”

Wen Ning was so scared that he flinched within Wei WuXian’s grip and Jin Ling tilted his head a little confused. Wen Ning seemed a little too docile, a little too gentle to be the ferocious corpse he knew.

Wen Ning whispered, “Yes… Yeah.”

Seeing how timid, pitiful, yet stammering he was, Wei WuXian seemed as though he had finally remembered something, The Discussion Conference at Qishan two years ago… The Discussion Conference… Shooting arrows… Ah, there really was someone like him!

Wei WuXian sounded him out, “You’re that… Wen… Wen something, the one who’s quite good at archery?”

 _Good at archery? Wen Ning can’t shoot a bow if his life depended on it??_ Jin Ling wondered as he watched the exchange. 

Wen Ning nodded quickly, beaming, “T-that’s me! Yesterday… I saw you, Young Master Wei, along with Young Master Jiang, so I thought that you might be back again…”

“You saw me yesterday?”

“I-I did.”

“You saw me but you didn’t tell anyone?”

“I won’t! I won’t tell anyone!”

 _What? Is Wen Ning on their side? I thought he was a Wen through and through? Did he help or something????_ Jin Ling wondered curiously but he could no more influence this memory than he could any other and he settled back to watch it unfold. 

Wen Ning had spoken the entire sentence without stammering with a firm, determined voice and Jin Ling tilted his head in time to Wei WuXian’s as he wondered.

_What’s this guy’s deal???_

“Young Master Wei, you’re here to find Young Master Jiang, aren’t you?”

_YES!!!_

“Is Jiang Cheng inside?!”

Wen Ning answered him obediently, “He is…”

Hearing this, Wei WuXian’s mind spun quickly, _Jiang Cheng’s inside, it seems I’ll have to go into Lotus Pier. How? Take Wen Ning hostage? That wouldn’t work. It’s likely that Wen Chao doesn’t like Wen Ning. What if it’s no use with him hostage?! And is he actually lying or not? Isn’t he someone from the Wen Sect? But yesterday he really did see us and didn’t tell on us. If I let him go, would he betray me as soon as he could? How could there be someone so nice amongst the Wen-dogs??? To ensure that I’m on the safe side, I could only...kill him? Should I kill him??_

Jin Ling shivered suddenly as killing intent flashed before Wei WuXian. He had never killed anyone before but here and now, his sect was destroyed, Madam Yu and Uncle Jiang were slaughtered, all of his friends and family were massacred and wrath and hatred had pooled within him over the past few days. He felt that rage build up in his chest taking over any kindness he once had and he seriously considered killing the shy boy in front of him. 

_Should…..should I kill him???_

Jin Ling was at a loss as to how to interpret this. Wei WuXian was hesitating as though taking a life was something important to him and that clashed hard with the stories he knew of the YiLing Laozu and the waves of death and destruction he left in his wake. The YiLing Laozu was a cold blooded killer. He had razed the Wens to the ground, tortured them and murdered them one by one in front of each other. If anyone could write a book on the thousands and thousands of ways someone could die it would be Wei WuXian yet here he was staring hard at a Wen and there was hesitation in his heart. 

As he was thinking, Wen Ning spoke, “Young Master Wei, are you here to save Young Master Jiang?”

Wei WuXian’s fingers curled a little tighter on his neck and he spoke in a cold voice, “What do you think?”

For some reason, Wen Ning smiled nervously, “I knew it. I… I can help you get him out of there.”

For a split second, Wei WuXian thought that he had heard wrong. He was shocked, “… You? You’ll help me get him out?!”

 _What???? Did Wen Ning help save jiujiu?????!?!!!!! What the hell????_ Jin Ling reeled back, surprise and shock on his face. He didn’t know what to think anymore. Everything was so different than what he had imagined, everything contradicted the stories he had heard, the things he had read, the people he had talked to but how could he deny what he was seeing. A spirit could not lie under Empathy, these memories were true and the reality that faced Jin Ling was so unexpected.

Wen Ning stuttered again, “yeah. R-right now, I can take him out really quickly. Wen Chao and the others happened to have gone out!”

Wei WuXian clenched him tightly, “You really can?!”

Wen Ning looked him right in the eye and spoke again, “I can! I-I’m also a clan disciple of the Wen Sect. There’s also a group of disciples who follow my orders.”

Wei WuXian’s voice was harsh, “Follow your orders? Follow your orders and kill people?”

Wen Ning hurried, “N-N-No! My disciples never kill people at random. The Jiang Sect’s people, I haven’t killed any either. I only hurried here after I heard that something happened to Lotus Pier. It’s true!”

Wei WuXian stared at him, _Just what does he want? Is he lying? Is he being insincere? But this lie really is too ridiculous! Does he think that I’m an idiot?!_

But despite his dark thoughts, there was a desperate hope growing in his belly sprouting from somewhere in the bottom of his heart.

He gave himself a harsh scolding in silence, his words echoing in Jin Ling’s head, _I am stupid, useless, ridiculous, and this is bizarre, unimaginable. What the hell does this Wen want?!_

Yet, he was alone, without a sword or any tools, and on the other side of the wall there were thousands of Wen Sect’s cultivators, perhaps Wen ZhuLiu as well.

Jin Ling drifted in those emotions as he realized Wei WuXian was not in fact scared of death and he wondered if he would be in the face of those cultivators. Would he be able to be so brave like Wei Ying? But another thought surfaced inside of him cutting off his wondering. 

Wei Ying's only fear, his true fear was that he wouldn’t be able to save Jiang Cheng and betray the trust that Jiang FengMian and Madam Yu left him. He could not disappoint them, he would not let his brother die!!! And the only one he could place his hope in was this person from the Wen Sect whom he had met only three times in total!

Wei WuXian licked his chapped lips, speaking in a dry voice, “… Then… could you… could you help me… take the bodies of Sect Leader Jiang and Madam Yu…”

Without him noticing, he had begun to stammer as well. Before he finished, he remembered that he was still seizing Wen Ning in a threatening posture. He quickly let him go, but he still left himself a way out. If Wen Ning began to run or shout as soon as he let him go, he’d split open Wen Ning’s skull at once. However, Wen Ning only turned around, his voice serious, “I… I’ll try my best.”

Wei WuXian waited, a bit muddleheaded. He walked around at the same spot as he thought, _What’s wrong with me? Am I crazy? Why would Wen Ning help me? Why would I trust him? What if he’s lying to me and Jiang Cheng isn’t inside at all? No, what a relief it’d be if Jiang Cheng isn’t inside!_

Before half an hour had passed Wen Ning really did silently walk outside with someone on his back. The person was covered in blood. His face was ashen and his eyes were shut, motionless on Wen Ning’s back. It was Jiang Cheng indeed.

Wei WuXian felt his heart tumble to his feet, his throat constricting as white fear slipped down along his spine and he whispered, “Jiang Cheng?! Jiang Cheng?!”

He reached out with trembling fingers and he let out a short staggered sigh, Jiang Cheng was still breathing. Wen Ning held out his hand toward Wei WuXian and put something in his palm, 

“Y-Young Master Jiang’s Zidian. I brought it.”

Wei WuXian didn’t know what else he could say. Remembering that the intent of killing Wen Ning had just crossed his mind, he spoke with hesitation, “… Thank you.”

“You’re welcome… Mr. Jiang and Madam Jiang’s bodies, I’ve already told people to move them. I’ll pass them to you afterwards. T-This isn’t a good place to stay. First…”

Without needing him to say anything else, Wei WuXian took Jiang Cheng over, wanting to carry him on his own back. Yet, only one glance and he saw the bloody whip wounds across Jiang Cheng’s chest.

“The discipline whip?!”

Wen Ning spoke with that soft voice of his, “mhm. Wen Chao, he got hold of the discipline whip of the Jiang Sect… There should be other injuries on Young Master Jiang as well.”

Wei WuXian only felt around for a couple of times. At least three of Jiang Cheng’s ribs were broken. He didn’t know how many injuries there were that he couldn’t see. Wen Ning continued, 

“After Wen Chao returns and discovers this, he’ll definitely start searching for you along the Yunmeng area… Young Master Wei, if you believe me, I can first take you to a safe place to hide.”

 _…………….?!_ Jin Ling was shocked for a second time. How is it possible that the man he hated, the ferocious corpse he had loathed for so long, the murderer of his father was so… willing to help them. How was this possible? He actually saved Jiang Cheng!! And he was willing to take them to somewhere safe and Jin Ling was floored as yet again he was forced to face such an astounding reality and his heart shifted uncomfortably in his chest. He didn’t know how to feel, should he like this man who saved his uncle or should he hate him for the murder of his father. He honestly didn’t know and Wei WuXian didn’t let him consider it for very long as his thoughts spiraled.

Right now, Jiang Cheng was heavily injured. He needed medicine and rest urgently, so they definitely couldn’t run around like they had done, not knowing when their next meal would be. The situation that they were in was almost impossibly hopeless. They couldn’t go anywhere. Aside from relying on Wen Ning for support, somehow, Wei WuXian couldn’t think of a single other solution!

The day before, he definitely wouldn’t have expected that he and Jiang Cheng would require the help of a Wen Sect’s disciple to escape, possibly even dying out of the unwillingness to surrender. As of the moment, however, Wei WuXian could only say, “Thanks!”

Wei Ning waved his hands, “There’s… There’s no need. Young Master Wei, walk this way. I-I have a ship…”

~*~

The world shifted again suddenly and Jin Ling found himself in a room. The walls were plain and white as Wei WuXian gazed at Wen Ning.

 _I can’t believe he’s Wen Qing’s little brother, that’s wild…_ Wei Ying thought with wonder and Jin Ling was surprised as well, _Wen Qing? The great medic of the QishanWen Sect? That Wen Qing?! She’s a legend!!! Woah!_

Jin Ling blinked in shock. He had read about her too, she was ranked as the number one healer in the entire cultivational world during her lifetime though she had been sentenced to death for leading the Wen Sect rebels who had dared to defy their judgement. How dare they think they would get away with their crimes. The rebels had been turned to dust during the Siege of LuanZang Hill though Wen Qing and Wen Ning had been sentenced to death at Koi Tower after the murder of his father. 

Despite being so emotionally draining, Empathy was kind of amazing since he could see so many people he had only heard stories of, his grandmother, his grandfather, Wen Ning, Wen Qing, the original Wei WuXian. He wondered for a moment if maybe he would get to see his father and his mother too. That would be incredible, that would be the only thing that would make this awful spell better. 

But something else in the room caught his attention. He turned fully facing the low lying bed and Jin Ling could see the unconscious form of his uncle as he shifted in the blankets. Wen Ning excused himself to get medicines as Wei WuXian darted forward. 

His heart was beating wildly with excitement as he watched his brother wake up but almost immediately he knew something was wrong and that excitement dimmed as worry swirled around in his belly. 

Jiang Cheng’s expression was rather strange. It was calm, almost too calm.

He stared at the ceiling, as though he wasn’t at all interested in the situation he was in, as though he didn’t care about where he was either.

Wei WuXian didn’t expect him to react in such a way. Sadness, happiness, anger, shock—he had none of these. His heart skipped a beat and he licked his lips for a moment nervously,

“Jiang Cheng, can you see me? Can you hear me? Do you know who I am?”

Jiang Cheng glanced at him. He didn’t say anything, shifting to sit upright. He looked down at the mark of the discipline whip on his chest before laughing bitterly and Wei WuXian took another step closer to the bed hoping to comfort him, “Stop looking at it. There has to be a way to get it off.”

Jiang Cheng suddenly snapped his hand out and hit his arm with a punch but his strike was so weak, so powerless that Wei WuXian didn’t even flinch. He looked away with shame and guilt crawling up his spine and he spoke softly, 

“Hit me. As long as you’ll feel better.”

Jiang Cheng spoke, his voice hoarse and gravelly as though he had been screaming too hard, 

“Did you feel it?”

“What? Feel what?”

“Did you feel my spiritual power?”

Jin Ling’s heart sank and he swallowed dryly. He knew immediately what Jiang Cheng was talking about and he braced himself for it. He knew by now Wei WuXian’s full spectrum of emotions was minutely tied to his brother and he dreaded the moment his uncle spoke the truth. He tried to fortify himself for the storm that would blow through him when Wei WuXian realized what was going on. 

“What spiritual power? You didn’t use any spiritual power at all.”

“I did.”

“Just what… are you talking about?”

Jiang Cheng repeated, biting down on each word, “I said, I did. When I hit you, I used all of my spiritual power. I’m asking you. Did you feel it?”

_What is he talking about????_

Wei WuXian looked at him. After a while of silence, he spoke, “Hit me once more?”

“There’s no need. No matter how many more times I hit you, it’ll be the same. Wei WuXian, do you know why Wen ZhuLiu is called the Core-Melting Hand?”

Wei WuXian’s heart turned to ash in his mouth, _no…..no…….._ He felt a white noise echoing in his ear as his head turned upside down. _No….no no no no no no_

Jiang Cheng continued on his own, “Because his pair of hands can melt away the golden core, so that you can’t ever form a new core again, your spiritual power will disperse, and you’ll become an average person.”

“And an average person who descended from a cultivating sect is no different from a good-for-nothing. Your whole life will be spent doing worldly business. You aren’t allowed to dream about being at the top ever again.”

“Mother and Father had their golden cores melted away by Wen ZhuLiu first and lost the ability to resist before they were killed by him.”

Wei WuXian stared in silent shock. He could not understand. His head was a complete mess. He didn’t know what to do, murmuring, “… The Core-Melting Hand… The Core-Melting Hand…”

Jiang Cheng laughed darkly, “Wen ZhuLiu, Wen ZhuLiu. I want revenge, I want revenge, but how could I? I don’t even have my core anymore. I won’t ever be able to form a core again. How can I seek revenge? Hahahahahaha, hahahahahahahahahaha…”

His laugh was wild and unrestrained with an edge of hysteria. He looked completely mad in that moment cackling with lilting sounds.

Wei WuXian’s legs collapsed under him and he fell to the ground. He had no words, he could not compute what was coming out of Jiang Cheng’s mouth. He was completely stunned, unable to say a single thing. What could he say to that? What was Jiang Cheng even saying?

_He has no core…….no core…..no…...that was impossible…..no no no no no no no_

Like a lunatic, Jiang Cheng laughed for a while before he lay down on the bed again and opened his arms, speaking as though he had given up on everything, “Wei WuXian, why did you save me? What’s the use of saving me? Let me live in this world, watch the Wen-dogs go rampant, see how I can’t do anything?”

At this point in time, Wen Ning entered through the door with a bowl of medicine in his hand. Before he could say anything, those sun robes reflected against Jiang Cheng’s eyes. His pupils suddenly contracted.

Jiang Cheng lunged up and kicked Wen Ning, toppling over the bowl of medicine and drenching the front of his robes as he staggered back. 

Wei WuXian jumped forward grabbing his arm and pulling him back up when Jiang Cheng roared at him, “What’s wrong with you?! You see a Wen-dog and you don’t kill him?! And you wanted to pull him up? Do you want to die?!”

Wen Ning shrunk back in fear, his eyes wide. He was stunned speechless. Jiang Cheng finally noticed where he was as he glanced around and asked in alarm, “Where is this?”

Wen Ning answered with a soft, tiny voice, “The supervision office at Yiling. But it’s very safe…”

Jiang Cheng spun toward Wei WuXian, “Supervision office?! You walked yourself into their trap?”

“No!”

Jiang Cheng spoke in a harsh voice, “No? Then what are you doing in a supervision office? How did you get here? Don’t tell me that you went to the Wen-dogs for help?!”

Wei WuXian grabbed him, “Jiang Cheng, calm down first. It’s very safe here! Wake up. It’s not for certain that the Core-Melting Hand can’t…”

Jiang Cheng couldn’t listen to anyone’s words anymore. He was already half-mad. Hands around Wei WuXian’s neck, he laughed, “Wei WuXian, hahahahahahahaha Wei WuXian! You! You…”

Suddenly, a red shadow kicked the door open and darted inside. With a strike of her palm, a silver light flashed by straight into the center Jiang Cheng’s forehead and he lay back down at once. 

_JIUJIU?!_

The woman turned quickly and shut the door before scolding in a low voice, “Wen Ning, how stupid are you? You let him shout and laugh and be so loud?! Do you want him to be discovered?”

As though he saw his savior, Wen Ning shouted, “Sister!”

Wen Qing growled at him, “calling me your sister now? I haven’t asked you yet. Since when have you been so bold? How dare you hide people! I’ve already snuck a few questions earlier on. So that was why you suddenly wanted to go to Yunmeng! How full of yourself are you? Who gave you so much courage? If Wen Chao knew about this wouldn’t he tear you apart? If he really is set on killing someone, do you think that I can stop him?”

She spoke quickly and clearly. Her forceful tone allowed for no objections. Wei WuXian couldn’t find anywhere at all to interrupt her. Wen Ning’s face paled, almost as white as snow, “Sister, but Young Master Wei…”

Wen Qing continued, voice stern, “I won’t say anything too much seeing that you did it out of gratitude and that’s an understandable reason. However, these two must not stay here for long! You came suddenly and left suddenly, meanwhile Wen Chao lost the two of them. Do you think Wen Chao is that much of an idiot? Their search will reach here sooner or later. This is the supervision office under my command, and this is your house. What accusation do you think it’ll be if they discover that you’re hiding them? Think carefully!”

She explained so clearly what was at stake for them, so clearly that it was as though she pointed at Wei WuXian’s nose and told him to get lost quickly and not to stay here and burden them any longer. If Wei WuXian were the one injured or if somebody else had saved them, he’d immediately say farewell and leave at once, full of determination. However, right now, Jiang Cheng was the one who had been injured. Not only was he injured, he had lost his core as well. He wasn’t in his right mind. No matter what, Wei WuXian couldn’t find any determination in his shaky heart. And the Wen Sect was what caused them to be in such a situation to begin with. It was only natural for him to feel unwilling to give up. He could only clench his teeth and stay quiet.

Wen Ning started with his soft, trembling voice, he was so meek and shy Jin Ling gaped at him. Was this the real Wen Ning? It was so astounding to think the pale corpse that could rip people in half with his hands had once been this timid little boy. 

“B-But the Wen Sect people…”

Wen Qing cut him off, “What the Wen Sect does doesn’t represent what we do. We don’t need to be responsible for the Wen Sect’s wrongdoing. Wei Ying, there’s no need to look at me like that. There’s a beginning to all debts. I’m the office leader of Yiling, but I was ordered to take the position. I’m a medic, an apothecary, I’ve never killed anyone in my entire life, much less touched the blood of the Jiang Sect.”

Wei WuXian paused and Jin Ling felt blindsided by this announcement. He knew it was true because Wei Ying knew it to be true. _Was that even possible? There were actually Wen dogs who didn’t kill anyone??????_

Wei WuXian answered his thoughts, it was true. Nobody had heard of any lives lost by Wen Qing’s hands instead there were endless requests and many cases that people wanted her to take over because she was one of the only ones in the Wen Sect whose way of doing things was actually normal, humane and it did help that she was the leading medic in the entire world. At times she could even put in a few good words for people in front of Wen RuoHan. Her reputation was that good.

All were silent within the room. 

A few moments later, Wen Qing spoke again, “Don’t pull out the needle. The brat would start throwing a fit if he wakes up. His shouting voice could be heard all the way outside. Pull it out after his injuries have healed. I really don’t want to deal with Wen Chao, especially that woman around him. It disgusts me!”

She turned on her heel and left leaving a distinct impression behind. She was elegant and fierce in a way that Jin Ling had never seen before. He did not know anyone in his lifetime that was like her. All he could think of was his grandmother. This time in history it seemed bred women with steel for backbones and Jin Ling was just as in awe of her as he was of Madam Yu and all her power.

Wei WuXian spoke after another moment with a shaky voice, “She… means that we can’t stay for long, but we can still stay for a few days… right?”

Wen Ning nodded, “Thank you, Sister!”

A pack of medicinal herbs was tossed in from outside the door. Wen Qing spoke from afar, “If you really are grateful then put in some effort! What the hell kind of medicine did you just make? Brew it again!”

Although the pack of herbs smacked right into Wen Ning, he spoke happily, “The medicine that my sister prepared will definitely turn out good. Hundreds of times better than mine. It’ll be good for sure.”

Wei WuXian finally felt a small measure of relief, “Thank you.”

He and Jin Ling understood the fact that one of these siblings deciding to turn a blind eye to them and the other deciding to outright help them meant that they were placing themselves in extreme danger. Just as Wen Qing said, if Wen Chao truly wanted to kill anyone, it was unlikely for Wen Qing to be able to stop him. 

He could only afford 3 days, for 3 days he would let Jiang Cheng heal then he would find a way to get to YanLi. After that he really didn’t know what to do next. What could they do anyway?

~*~

“Be strong SiZhui! You have to hold it!” Lan XiChen called from the other side of the array, he was dripping sweat, it was trailing down his cheeks as he poured his spiritual power into the net holding the Dream Eater.

“Y….Yes! Ze…..Ze...huff...huff…..ZeWu-Jun!” SiZhui panted brokenly. He was so exhausted he was almost seeing double and he chanced a glance at the sky again. The moon was curving down just slightly and he knew with a sinking heart it would be another few hours before dawn.

He looked over at Jiang Cheng meeting his eyes for a moment. He looked just as spent, his blue eyes determined and tired. They had long given up trying to silence the demon content just to hold the net against its incredible strength. 

With every horrible memory Wei WuXian dreamed, it grew in power and it bucked at its bonds ferociously. When it opened its mouth again, SiZhui dreaded it. He dreaded it down to his very core. He did not want to hear Jin Ling and Wei Ying and whoever else was in his nightmares. Listening to Jiang Cheng, Wei Ying and Jin Ling cry was the worst thing he could have ever heard. 

It was HanGuang-Jun who had understood it first. He had called across the array with succinct words, “It’s Empathy….”

Lan XiChen tilted his head towards him with a nod, “I fear so, Young Master Wei is trapped in his regrets and somehow he pulled Jin Ling in too.”

“That’s the only thing that makes any sense,” Jiang Cheng huffed wearily. He had been shocked, stunned, alarmed and horrified to hear so many terrible memories fall from the beast’s mouth with their voices and their thoughts and after so many hours he just accepted that the people in this clearing would hear things he would much rather bury for the rest of his life. 

When he had heard his own voice condemn Wei Ying and demand the deaths of Lan WangJi and Jin ZiXuan he had glanced at HanGuang-Jun but Lan Zhan had looked at him with no judgement. His eyes had been warm and sympathetic with acceptance and understanding and Jiang Cheng had felt unworthy of it but he was older now. He could not change the past or change his own regrets but it did comfort him to know that Lan WangJi did not judge him. 

The Dream Eater didn’t parrot word for word but it did speak enough that the cultivators could understand which event Wei Ying and Jin Ling were in and he watched those fangs part as another memory echoed around them.

“Please Wen Qing! I beg you, I will do whatever you ask of me, please! Please save my brother!!” Wei Ying’s chaotic and desperate voice cut through the clearing.

Jiang Cheng frowned as he heard words he had never heard before and he sighed unhappily. What a fucking shitshow this was, how absurdly personal this demon was. No one had the right to see Wei Ying’s heart like this. It was offensive to him on display and Jiang Cheng wished for yet another time that he could shut its stupid, ugly mouth. He was more than touched by the depth of Wei Ying’s care for him but more so was his desire to protect his shixiong. Protect his heart from everyone, including him, who had no right to listen to his thoughts and his feelings. 

Wei WuXian had never shared any of this with anyone and it was awful to force him to bear his soul to them without his knowledge or consent. These were wounds, his wounds and he should have the right to tell them himself and if he never wanted to that was his right as well. The next voice that fell out of the creature’s mouth almost stopped Jiang Cheng's heart. 

“Wei WuXian are you mad? It’s never been done before, it’s impossible. I will not do it,” a female voice answered him. 

“Wen Qing?” Jiang Cheng gasped glancing at XiChen for a moment who met his eyes with his own tired ones. 

“I think so,” Lan XiChen replied heavily, the glow from his spiritual energy highlighting his face and pulling long shadows up making him look even more worn and exhausted and SiZhui looked between them curiously and nervously. 

_“Save? what?! Jiujiu?! Is jiujiu in danger!?”_ Jin Ling’s concerned voice came next with that odd echo that they had all assumed were thoughts and not words and SiZhui grimaced. What he wouldn’t give to rip this demon’s tongue out and shut its mouth forever. They had no right to listen to this, no right at all to hear the thoughts kept deep in their hearts and he hated to have to stand there and be privy to something so personal and private. 

He ached to protect Wei Ying and Jin Ling, they didn’t ask to share their deepest feelings, they didn’t ask to be on display like this but the Dream Eater spoke again with Wei WuXian’s voice.

“Wen Qing you are the best medic in the world, I read your scroll, you can do this, please do this. I will be forever in your debt, whatever I can do, I will do for you, please, please, I am begging you! I cannot leave him like this! What would you do if it was Wen Ning?!”

Jiang Cheng gritted his teeth. He didn’t want to hear this, he had no right to hear his shixiong begging like this.

“Wei WuXian…..” the Dream Eater sighed heavily, “I have never done a core transfer, no one has. I cannot guarantee that it will work. What if you end up without a core too?”

“I will take it, whatever you can do please Wen Qing, Jiang Cheng and shijie are all the family I have left. I cannot let him stay like this. He will die Wen Qing! He will simply give up, he cannot live without his core!”

Jin Ling’s voice interrupted them, _What the hell is Wei WuXian saying?! What the hell is coming out of his mouth, core transfer? Jiujiu got his core mended by BaoShan SanRen---”_

SiZhui’s eyes widened in shock as he started to understand what was going on and his heart sunk in his chest just as Wen Qing’s voice cut into Jin Ling’s thoughts. “And if it doesn’t work what then Wei WuXian?”

“It doesn’t matter Wen Qing, I cannot let this go, I have to save him, he’s my brother, my shidi, my family and I know you can do it, you’re the only one who can do it, what do you think the odds are, truly?”

“Truly?” Wen Qing’s voice went quiet for a moment and the air in the clearing almost seemed to shiver. They all felt so awful, like intruders and it disgusted them to hear the people they cared about so open and vulnerable, their thoughts plain for everyone to see. 

“Ah Wei WuXian, I don’t know maybe half a chance, maybe nothing, there’s no guarantee your core won’t disappear into thin air when we pull it out and I don’t even know if his body will accept it either, what if his body rejects the core?”

Jiang Cheng swallowed heavily as he listened to the Dream Eater and he felt his heart swell with more regret. He owed so much to Wen Qing and Wen Ning and that was one thing he would never come to terms with. He didn’t know how to face himself after letting them die the way they did. Wei WuXian had never told him just how much of a debt they owed to the Wen siblings but regardless the past was the past and he would accept his regret. Wishing things were different was for children and he was old enough now. He had done the best he could at the time and that was all he could have done. 

Wei Ying voice came on the heels of her’s, “so be it then, if….if he does reject it then I’ll be a common man just like him, I would be nothing but a street rat if it wasn’t for the Jiangs anyway so it’s not a big deal to me, but it is to Jiang Cheng, he’s so driven and determined he can’t live a normal life Wen Qing.”

Wen Qing spoke with that sharp, no-nonsense voice even as the Dream Eater heaved in the net. It snarled once before the voice continued, “Not a big deal? Wei WuXian, you have trained your core your whole life, how can you stand in front of me and say losing it is not a big deal?”

“If it wasn’t for Jiang FengMian, I wouldn’t have a core anyway, how can I let Jiang Cheng go without one when I have a good one I can give him? He is more important to me than that. I can live without a core, I’ll figure it out somehow but he can’t. He simply can’t and I have to do this, I have to try. If it fails then so be it. Please do this for me Wen Qing, please, please save my brother!”

That awful desperate voice paused before it continued, hoarse and shaky, “Please Wen Qing! I will owe you a debt for the rest of my life, I will do whatever you need whenever you ask it of me. I cannot save him by myself and you are a healer, you are the best medic of the QishanWen Sect, I know you save people, I know you have never taken a life. I know you are noble and good and I know you can do this. Please do this! Please save him! I beg you with all that I am, I cannot take it if I lose my little brother….”

Jin Ling cut in with an astonished whisper, his voice trembling, _“did…..did…...Wei YYing sa…..save Jiujiu? Did Wei Ying give him his core? But that’s….that’s impossible...no one can do that. There was no way…..no…..”_

“Alright Wei WuXian but I won’t be held responsible if it fails, you understand?” Wen Qing’s voice broke through Jin Ling’s shivering thoughts.

“Yes! Thank you! Thank you!”

Jiang Cheng resisted the urge to hang his head and he sighed, pushing more energy into his hands to hold the jerking demon. He looked up to the sky judging the moon praying that dawn would come faster. 

“When are you going to tell him?” The Dream Eater spoke with Wen Qing’s mouth again and Wei WuXian answered her with an awkward voice, “I….I won’t tell him….”

“What?”

“I can’t Wen Qing, he will never agree to it and he would never trust you anyway. He can’t help it, he lost everything to the Wens and…..and I think he would hate it…. He would hate knowing his core is not his, you know, he’s….Jiang Cheng is prideful and he wouldn’t be able to accept it. He would question everything, himself, his abilities, no, I cannot tell him, I’ll make up some story, my mother’s teacher was an immortal, BaoShan SanRen and….and I think he would believe that... Please, please don’t tell him, he can never know, he will never be able to live with himself if he knew….”

“Fine, Wei WuXian you make up your story and I’ll see what I can do….”

Jiang Cheng felt his hands tremble as he maintained his part of the array. It had taken him a long, long time to come to terms with the core he had now and at this point in his life, he was at peace with it just enough to be able to listen to this monster speak words it had no right to share. 

He would not condemn Wei Ying anymore, he would not wallow in hate and despair. It was what it was, Wei Ying had given him his core and with it he had been able to resurrect the YunmengJiang Sect. Despite how terribly intrusive this demon was, he was oddly grateful to hear just how much Wei Ying cared about him, how much he loved him. It was a bold mirror to the care he had in his own heart for his shixiong.

Wei WuXian did not share his heart with others, he was not free with his emotions and though Jiang Cheng loathed the way it was happening, his heart was full with just how much love his brother had for him and it seemed to balance out his own heart.

He had always loved his brother, he had always wanted to know his heart and though he regretted that it had to happen this way, he was so moved by Wei Ying’s memories. He glanced over to XiChen and ZeWu-Jun gave him an encouraging nod. He couldn’t do much else and he had no words to share in that moment. 

None of them had ever heard about the core this way before either and they stood there planted in the cardinal positions holding the spiritual array that would trap this creature until dawn would kill it with conflicted hearts. They were equal parts impressed with Wei WuXian, moved by his sacrifice and too in pain because of him. His despair had made them all cry, his desperation had broken their hearts and his regrets were so, so heavy in the air. They hated that they had to hear this from him in this way but they were also in some small measure grateful to know more about the person they cared about. Wei WuXian had never felt more real, more honest then through the Dream Eaters powers. 

They glanced at each other as the Dream Eater fell silent before they turned their heads to try to catch a glimpse of Wei Ying but they couldn’t see him. Li Kang was still there crouched in the dirt holding his wound closed and all four of them prayed even harder for dawn to come. 

Suddenly the demon opened its mouth again and Jin Ling’s panicked voice filled their ears.

_“OH NO! OH FUCK NO, NO! SHIT! FUCK WEI YING ARE WE REALLY GOING TO DO THIS?!”_

“Wei WuXian!” Wen Qing spoke fiercely, “You have to stay conscious! Don’t you pass out on me Wei Ying! We’ll lose the core!!! Stay with me! Stay--”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

A blood curdling shriek cut through the air. It was a horrible sound, agonized and crazed as Wei WuXian and Jin Ling screamed together, their voices tangling around each other as it echoed out of the Dream Eater’s mouth. 

Lan Zhan paled and he turned, unable to handle this any longer. He simply could not stand there and listen to Wei Ying scream. 

“WANGJI! NO! IF WE KILL THE DEMON WEI YING WILL WAKE UP! DON’T YOU DARE DROP THAT NET LAN WANGJI!’ Lan XiChen roared across the array, his voice loud enough to be heard over the incessant screaming. It was so, so very awful, it was horrific and Lan XiChen hated it but they could not release the creature. 

Lan Zhan paused, torn, his hands trembling on the glowing ropes of the spirit capturing net. He glanced at his brother with grief in his golden eyes and XiChen’s heart ached even more but they had to kill this beast and release Wei WuXian and Jin Ling and they could not do that without Lan Zhan.

“LAN WANGJI! WEI YING WILL DIE IF WE DON’T KILL IT!”

Lan Zhan sniffed back his tears and settled into his position again meeting his brother’s brown eyes with sorrow but Lan XiChen could not comfort him. The Dream Eater jerked and kicked as it grew stronger and stronger with the waves of resentful energy Wei WuXian was releasing and the cultivators poured their power into the array willing it to hold. They still had some time left until dawn and those last few hours would prove even worse than Wei Ying and Jin Ling’s terrible screaming.


	5. Chapter 5

Jin Ling would spend the rest of that dream going through the most agonizing pain imaginable. He would see and feel first hand how Wei WuXian gave his core up for his brother and exactly what that cost him. For 2 nights and one day, Jin Ling would lay awake at the top of some random mountain in YiLing feeling his spiritual pathways die in his veins, feel his energy being spliced from his body with a knife as he writhed in that mind numbing misery and he thought he’d go mad there. 

And just as he blinked exhausted, feeling the last shred of his golden core being pulled from his body the world tilted again and suddenly he was staring down at the jagged black peaks of LuanZang Hill, the Burial Mounds looming like an open maw under him. 

He tried to focus, to understand what the hell was happening now but he was completely drained, his body heavy in the arms that held him up. He felt weighed down, disconnected, the pulsing core that sat in his belly gone leaving nothing behind but a gaping black hole. He was still reeling from the feelings, he could still feel that knife slicing him open and he heard a sarcastic, gleeful voice in his ear. 

He glanced over hazily before his heart lunged up into his throat as reality came into focus. He was kneeling on a sword, strong hands holding him down and with a quick glance, he realized they were flying in a sword formation with the Wens and Wen Chao continued with his nasty voice, “Burial Mound is right in Yiling. You Yunmeng people have probably heard of its name as well. It’s a mountain of corpses, an old battleground. If you find a spot wherever on the mountain and dig your shovel into it, you’ll be able to dig out a corpse. Any nameless corpses are always tossed here as well.”

The sword array descended slowly, approaching the mountain and Wei WuXian’s heart beat even faster, dread collecting at the base of his spine. 

Wen Chao motioned ahead of him, “look at the dark air. Tsk tsk tsk, the hostile energy is strong, isn’t it? And the resentful energy is thick too. Even us at the Wen Sect weren’t able to do anything about it. We could only surround it and prevent people from going in and it’s still daytime. At night, really any—-thing can be found in there. When a living person goes in here, both the body and the soul cannot return, unable to get out for all of eternity.”

He grabbed Wei WuXian’s hair and yanked his head back. A grotesque grin on his face and he spoke one word at a time,

“And you won’t be able to get out for all of eternity either!”

As he finished, he threw Wei WuXian down and Jin Ling screamed in panic, his voice echoing the gut wrenching shout that fell from Wei Ying’s mouth as they fell down and down and down. 

They plummeted towards the black jagged peaks that made up the Burial Mounds and Jin Ling couldn’t think past the adrenaline roaring through him, the wind was rushing in his ears and his heart racing in his chest. They were going to die, there was no way they could survive a drop from this height. It didn’t matter that Jin Ling knew Wei WuXian was still alive, in this space and time he was terrified, certain with Wei WuXian’s certainty that they were going to die and there was nothing he could do about it but just as that thought blew through his heart, a thick cushion of resentful energy caught them with heavy, curling grey wisps. 

It was so dark there suddenly and immediately, the sun cut off around them as the gossamer threads of negative energy claimed them. 

If you asked Jin Ling later what had happened, he couldn’t tell you. If you asked him to explain the fall, explain what exactly Wei WuXian did, he couldn’t explain that either. All he remembered, all he could feel was thick suffocating clouds of resentful energy funnelling into that hollow in Wei Ying’s stomach. 

The hole left from the carved out core was like a vacuum swallowing up waves and waves of black energy and Wei Ying was choking on it. He couldn’t breathe as those thick clouds swirled up into his nose creeping steadily into his lungs and spreading throughout his body like viscous tendrils. 

The energy stank of evil, of darkness, of every vile thing known to man, it was the antithesis of good, the opposite of light. It was heavy and profound and Wei Ying tried to gasp. He tried to cough it up out of his lungs but he couldn’t seem to get it out, it collected there in his chest like coppery bad blood. 

It slid into his eyes and slipped into his ears pooling heavily inside him and he knew with immediate clarity that if he did not do something he would die. He was struggling to breathe past it and in a desperate attempt to do something, anything he threw his weight behind his will power and reached out to grab that cloud. 

It was so thick, it hung like a weight around him and he curled his fingers into it and yanked, ripping it out of his nose. He wasn’t sure how he could grab that foggy mass of energy and neither was Jin Ling but grab it he did. 

He willed it into physical form urging it to take shape with nothing but his determination. It wavered in the air as if unsure, as if it had some kind of sentience and Wei Ying pushed again. And if you asked Jin Ling how he did it, he wouldn’t be able to tell you that either. All he could understand was Wei Ying was somehow manipulating that dark force with his spirit? The energy of his soul maybe because he had no golden core from which to draw from. 

Wei WuXian tightened his fist on that energy and yanked it out of his lungs gasping hoarsely as he sucked in huge gusts of air and that black cloud that was supporting him disappeared dropping them down the last few feet to the ground. 

Wei Ying fell back to the dirt with a stilted breath as his air whooshed out of him and he blinked in the gloom. The sky was dark at the base of LuanZang Hill, clouds of resentful energy blocking out the sun and he shook his head hard. 

He and Jin Ling looked down at their hand curiously then glanced at the barren, black rocks around them before Wei Ying looked down at his hand again. He shuffled up to his feet staggering a little wincing as his stitches pulled tight across his abdomen. 

He grimaced lightly laying his hand over the bandage hoping the pressure would ease it somewhat before he looked around fully at his surroundings.

He let his eyes drift over the jagged rocks and the dirt ground stained black with years and years of blood, there was so much old blood the air stank with a vague coppery smell of aged iron. There was nothing there, nothing but sharp rocks and dirt and thick grey clouds of resentful energy swirling around the edges of the small clearing he found himself in like the wisps of early morning fog that would curl across the Yunmeng lakes in the early morning. 

Wei WuXian frowned as he considered it. It had felt solid in his hand and he marched forward with determination ignoring the throbbing in his head and the pain in his stomach. He half expected that grey fog to dissipate with his footsteps but instead it thickened until it curled around his ankles almost embracing him and suddenly the hollow the core had left behind was filled with something cold and heavy that sat uncomfortably in his belly. 

Jin Ling watched with fascination, ignoring the aches and pains of the body he was in as Wei Ying reached out his fingers and caught the edge of that cloud. It swirled around his palm with something almost fond in the gesture as though it was trying to hold his hand. 

And Wei Ying plopped back down to the ground sitting directly in the center of that fog. He settled into himself letting his mind grow blank and he pulled that black energy into the space his lost core had been. He funneled it inside of him and bent it with his will urging it to do something just to see if he could. 

And for days, weeks, he sat there in that same spot tugging and pulling, pushing and molding this energy ignoring the howling voices around him. The resentful energy was both drawn to him and the void in his belly and yet at the same time tormenting him with curses and condemnation in the voices of his friends and family. 

How Wei WuXian could sit there with those voices in his ear was beyond Jin Ling. He would never have been able to deal with it. He didn’t have the heart or the will to handle the vile, venomous judgement in those breathy, echoing voices as the Burial Mounds sought to break his will.

It took Wei Ying 4 days to realize whistling helped him focus and another day to understand how to manipulate the energy with it. Then it would take him another 2 weeks until he could manifest it in his hand. That dark energy hovered around him with greed waiting for him to break, waiting for a single gap in his control to consume him but Wei WuXian was nothing if not determined. That much Jin Ling understood. After so many broken dreams he understood with startling clarity that he had never in his entire life met someone with the strength of will that Wei WuXian had. 

He was as immovable as a mountain calm and certain in himself. He would not give in to this haunting power, he would harness it. He would use it and he would control it. He would not die in this place. 

And Jin Ling watched with rapt attention as the days and nights dragged on in this forsaken mountain nothing but those howling voices and a stale wind that stank of iron and blood around them and soon enough the dream rippled and Jin Ling found himself at a tavern, the lingering echo of Wei Ying’s dark whistle ringing in his ears. 

~*~

Jin Ling looked around at the view with interest, he, Wei WuXian was laying on his side on an elegant red lacquer divan, one of his arms hanging over the edge with a black clay jar of wine in his hand. It had a red tassel that wrapped around his wrist as he lay there unmoving on his side staring listlessly out at the street below. 

He pulled that jar up and took a mouthful of that rich wine as the twinkle of feminine voices suddenly filled his ear. 

Jin Ling tried to look but Wei WuXian was uninterested in them and Jin Ling was forced to accept the view. They were looking out over a busy market street with men and women passing by to and fro with their tasks and everything seemed so mundane. These people bustling around below them seemed so pointless. Everything seemed so meaningless. 

What did it matter what these people had to do? What did anything matter really? The Wens were gone, his core was gone. He had done his duty. Jiang Cheng was strong and dedicated as a leader and YanLi was whole and happy. 

Nothing else mattered to Wei WuXian. He didn’t care anymore what people thought. He didn’t give a damn. He was the YiLing Laozu, respected and feared for his power. People ducked and dodged him now too scared of the black energy he wielded leaving him solitary and alone. No one shared his company anymore but if that was the price he had to pay to have his brother in one piece, confident and driven again, he would pay it. 

The YiLing wine was bold and rich in his mouth and Jin Ling was forced to recognize the dispirited thoughts inside him. This was odd, Wei WuXian had never seemed this jaded before, this cynical as though nothing in the world mattered and that empty hollow in his belly pulsed with cold resentful energy and those twinkling voices echoed around him again.

“Hey Young Master, Young Master, isn’t that other young master beautiful?” A delicate young girl leaned into his space. She was lovely with a pair of double buns in her hair and a delicate white flower behind her ear. 

She was painted with graceful makeup and she wore silk and satin like a courtesan but when Wei WuXian looked over into her eyes Jin Ling froze and a shiver tripped down his spine. She had no pupils, just solid black irises and Jin Ling felt the hair rise up on the back of his neck. He knew immediately that was no pretty lady, that was a ghoul, a demonic ghost and suddenly she was no longer beautiful but rather terrifying and Jin Ling swallowed heavily, uncomfortable in the presence of such an evil being. He breathed a sigh of relief when Wei Ying glanced away but it was short lived as another pretty face popped up with those same black eyes. 

This one had an elegant knot in her hair with a red flower in her bun and she giggled behind her pale hand. 

“Young Master,” she spoke with a gentle breathy voice, “Just look at him Young Master, look, look,”

She pointed one long painted nail down into the crowd at the far end of the street and Jin Ling paused again when he spied the regal, elegant form of a much younger HanGuang-Jun in his prim and proper white Lan robes. He looked refined and distant just like a statue carved of stone. It was no wonder he was considered one of the Twin Jades of Lan. 

_Lan Zhan?!_

Jin Ling blinked for a second at the odd fondness and curiosity in his thoughts but other than a vague sort of interest, Wei Ying didn’t feel much one way or the other. The fire that Jin Ling had grown used to seeing in Wei Ying’s heart was cool and dim now, faded and Jin Ling pursed his lips a little in confusion. 

_?_

_Ah Lan Zhan you old fuddy duddy, you always look like you’re going to a funeral….._

Jin Ling wondered at yet another thing that was different about this Wei WuXian. There was no romance in his heart, no love, no passion, nothing but a vague interest and that felt way too weird. He thought again of the real Wei Ying always bouncing around with clever words on his lips and his sweet affections towards his husband. He did not match this Wei WuXian anymore then he matched the desperate young man who had watched Lotus Pier burn to the ground. 

_How many Wei Yings are there?_ Jin Ling thought to himself as Wei WuXian turned his head to another courtesan. No matter how calm Wei Ying was with his ghost girls, Jin Ling felt every single hair creep up along his spine. 

_Did Wei Ying normally hang out with ghosts????? I wonder where Jiujiu is? I thought they were always together?? Is this before or after the Sunshot campaign?_

But Jin Ling’s thoughts were interrupted with another soft, lilting female voice. 

“Hey Young Master, should we play with him? He’s very handsome…..”

Wei WuXian took another sip of his wine feeling it burn all the way down into his hollow belly before he shrugged. 

“Do whatever you want, it doesn’t matter to me what you do…”

Jin Ling frowned again, even his voice was different, harder, rougher around the edges. His tone was bored and his vowels were sharp and Jin Ling tilted his head. 

_Well…...I guess it makes sense he would be different? I mean how many people just get shoved off a sword into the freaking Burial Mounds?_ Though even Jin Ling had to admit that that was a gross understatement. Wei Ying had survived weeks and weeks of torment that would wear anyone down and Wei WuXian had suffered for it. He was no longer bright and bubbly, rather he was withdrawn and cynical, a fitting mirror for the negative energy that coursed through him. 

And Jin Ling remembered something from one of his lessons with shifu, must have been months ago. 

_“Resentful energy harms the mind and disturbs the heart Jin Ling, remember this, no matter how much power it can offer you, it will hurt you in the end. The YiLing Laozu sought to harness it for his own use and in the end it destroyed him and everyone he cared about. Understand that the only way to success and righteous power is through proper cultivation of your own spiritual energy.”_

_Yea that’s all well and good shifu but what if you don’t-----_

Jin Ling blinked for a moment as he considered that statement, Wei Ying didn’t have a core, he didn’t have spiritual energy, he could not cultivate anymore. He…..had to use resentful energy because he had no other choice. Either that or live a regular life and Wei WuXian was no common man. Jin Ling shook his head a little astounded by the revelation. 

_……...I always thought he was just some………………..evil………..guy……but like…..all he wants to do is…..protect his family…...that’s…..pretty noble…..actually…..._

Wei WuXian looked down as he considered the clay jar of his wine. He drank the rest down in one gulp before he leaned over the railing and tossed a pink flower out watching it float down. It landed in Lan WangJi’s hair and he felt a small smile curl his lips as he watched him pluck that flower holding it in his hands curiously. 

Wei Ying observed him for a moment before calling out, 

“Lan Zhan—ah, no, HanGuang-Jun—what a coincidence!” Wei Ying laughed, his voice sounding brittle and cold. It had none of the warmth Jin Ling was used to and that just rubbed him the wrong way. He did not like this new Wei Ying but really, that wasn’t up to him. This was Wei WuXian’s dream and if he was showing it to him, there must be something he regrets here too. 

Jin Ling felt his heart grow heavy. How many regrets did Wei WuXian have? It seemed endless, regret after regret but Jin Ling just sighed as he observed the scene. 

Lan WangJi spoke up from the street below, “it is you.”

Wei WuXian grinned, “It’s me! Someone who does such a ridiculous thing has to be me. Where did you find the time to come to Yunmeng? If you’re not busy, come up here and have a drink?”

A few of the ghost girls encircled him, all cramped onto the divan laughing at those down below, “yeah, Young Master, come up here and have a drink!”

Jin Ling shivered despite himself. How could Wei WuXian just lay there with these things all over him? 

Lowering his head, Lan WangJi turned around and proceeded to leave. 

_Figures, I’m much too ridiculous for someone so prim and proper..._

With a click of his tongue, Wei WuXian rolled down the divan and grabbed another jar of wine, he took a big mouthful of the liquor. Yet, a few moments later, a series of footsteps came, lighter than heavy, calmer than rushed, with steady steps, Lan WangJi walked up the stairs and parted the curtains as he entered. The bejeweled strings clinked crisply, almost melodically.

Jin Ling perked up with interest, he had never seen such a young HanGuang-Jun and he was curious to see their interactions especially knowing that these two would eventually marry. He thought it odd how distant they seemed, how cold Wei WuXian was but maybe that was all the resentful energy coursing through him along the empty pathways where his qi should have been.

It was an uncomfortable feeling as though ice ran in his veins instead of the warm glow a core provided and Jin Ling shivered again feeling the chill. Was this how Wei WuXian lived his life after that astounding sacrifice? Did he live everyday like this? His body heavy and hollow with freezing blood and black energy in his belly surrounded by the dead. How……...awful and Jin Ling felt another emotion bloom in his heart, he could not help feeling upset for him. How terrible must it be to wear the cloak of resentful energy; to feel this terrible chill in his very bones and taste evil in the back of his throat with every breath he took. 

Had he not known why Wei WuXian did this he would have never been able to understand how someone would willingly embrace this black power and he felt another odd emotion in his chest, he felt moved by his sacrifice, how deep of a heart must someone have to give up one’s strength, one’s core to live a life like this? How much must Wei Ying have loved his brother to do something like this for him? Who would do something like this for someone else? 

But HanGuang-Jun interrupted his wandering thoughts as he placed the bundle of flowers on the small table, “Your flowers.”

Wei WuXian slanted his body until he could sit up, “You’re welcome. I’ll give them to you. These are your flowers now.”

“Why?”

“Why not? I just wanted to see how you’d react to such a thing.” Wei Ying grinned though Jin Ling could feel how empty the gesture was. There was no warmth in his heart, no lightness to his smile, he could feel how wooden it felt on his cheeks.

“Ridiculous.”

Wei WuXian laughed with the barest edge of real amusement and that was the first time since they had entered this dream that Jin Ling felt honest sentiment. Wei WuXian may not love HanGuang-Jun but he was certainly fond of him. 

“Ridiculous is exactly what I am. Or else I wouldn’t have been so bored as to get you up here… Hey, hey, hey, don’t go. You’re already here. You won’t have a few sips?”

Lan WangJi replied with a swift and clipped voice, “Liquor is prohibited.”

“I know that liquor is prohibited in your sect, but it’s not like it’s the Cloud Recesses here. It’s fine if you have some.”

The girls immediately took out a new cup and poured it full before they pushed it toward the bundle of flowers. Lan WangJi still didn’t seem like he was going to sit down, but he didn’t seem like he was going to leave either.

“You finally came to Yunmeng for once, and you won’t even try the delicious liquor here? But, though the liquor is delicious, it’ll never even compare to the Emperor’s Smile at Gusu where you live. It really is the best of all liquor. In the future, if I have the chance to go to Gusu again, I’ll definitely save half or a dozen and drink them all at once. Just look at you—what’s wrong with you? The seats are right there, and you’re still standing. Go sit, won’t you, let’s talk of the old times, come reminisce with me?”

 _It will be nice to talk to an old friend, I don’t have many of those anymore anyway, come on you ol’ fuddy duddy_ Wei Ying grinned fondly at Lan Zhan with the smallest spark of hope in his heart. He missed having someone to talk to, having company with someone living and warm since all he was ever surrounded with now was cold and death. 

The girls urged him on, “Go sit, won’t you? Go sit!”

Lan WangJi’s light eyes examined the sensual girls coldly. Immediately after, his gaze landed on the coal-black, red-tasseled flute by Wei WuXian’s waist. His eyes looked down, as if he was thinking of the best wording. Seeing this, Wei WuXian raised a brow, mostly able to guess what he was going to say next.

_Oh hell…..here it comes…...always the same aren’t you, you old fuddy duddy…._

As he expected, Lan WangJi said, slowly, “You should not accompany yourself with inhuman beings for so long.”

The smiles of the girls who were tittering around Wei WuXian immediately disappeared.

The gauze curtains swayed, at times blocking out the sunlight. The pavilion shifted between light and dark. Now, their snow-white cheeks seemed a bit too pale, so drained of blood that they almost seemed ashen. Their eyes were glued to Lan WangJi as well. Out of the blue came a chilling eeriness and Jin Ling shivered despite himself. These pretty girls were so unsettling. 

Wei WuXian lifted his hand, gesturing for them to move to the side. He shook his head as he spoke, “Lan Zhan, you really do become more boring the older you grow. You’re still so young. It’s not like you’re in your seventies, so don’t copy your uncle all the time, thinking of nothing but scolding others.”

Lan WangJi turned around and walked a step closer to him, “Wei Ying, it is still best if you come back to Gusu with me.”

Jin Ling paused at the weight behind those words. Wei WuXian was too interested in what he was going to say that he couldn’t see it but every word out of HanGuang-Jun’s mouth was heavy with emotion. This was no simple invitation and Jin Ling realized with a shock that Lan WangJi cared about Wei WuXian, like really cared, maybe even loved him by this point. It was so very clear in his golden eyes and his firm voice and Jin Ling gaped. _How in the hell could Wei Ying not see it? It was so obvious. Was he really this dense? I mean seriously?!_

“…” Wei WuXian spoke with that same jaded, bored tone, “I really haven’t heard this in a long time. The Sunshot Campaign is already over. I thought you’ve given up long ago.”

Lan WangJi ignored him, speaking quietly, “last time, during the hunt on Phoenix Mountain, have you noticed certain signs?”

“What signs?”

“The loss of control.”

 _Loss of control? Wei Ying can’t control it? But he seems fine??_ Jin Ling considered the resentful energy inside the body he was in. It was tightly controlled with a vice like grip as though Wei WuXian himself knew how dangerous it was, how easily it could consume him if he let it. Jin Ling frowned at HanGuang-Jun. 

_What loss of control HanGuang-Jun, he’s completely in control….._

“You mean me almost getting into a fight with Jin ZiXuan? I think you got something wrong. I want to fight with Jin ZiXuan whenever I see him, he always makes shijie feel like shit”

 _HOLY SHIT DAD????? MOM?!?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!_ Jin Ling gasped, he was almost vibrating to know what had happened. What did he mean? What were they talking about! Damn it why couldn’t these stupid dreams show him something more important?! 

Jin Ling wanted more than anything to see his parents but it seemed like these dreams had no intention of showing him anything worthwhile other than these unending regrets and Jin Ling frowned as disappointment collected in his heart but he tuned in to the conversation regardless. 

If Wei Ying had to share whatever the hell was in his heart, Jin Ling would give him the respect by watching it and maybe he could figure out how to get out of it in the meantime. 

Lan WangJi continued, “and the things you said afterwards.”

“What things? I say so many things every day. I’ve long since forgotten about the things I said two months ago.”

Lan WangJi looked at him, as though he could tell at once that he didn’t take it seriously. He took in a deep breath, “Wei Ying, The ghost path harms the mind and the heart.”

_Ugh damn it Lan Zhan, every damn time, why can’t we just talk about the past or something why is it this same shit every time?!_

Wei WuXian frowned as he felt a throbbing start at the base of his neck. He could feel a headache starting up and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes, “Lan Zhan, you… I’ve heard more than enough of these words that you say, and you still feel that you haven’t said them enough? I’m sick of hearing those words! You say that it harms the body, but I’m fine right now. You say that it harms the heart, but I haven’t become that frenzied, have I?”

 _But you have changed….._ Jin Ling thought quietly, it was so obvious, everything he did was different. The way he laughed was brittle and harsh, the thoughts he had were bleak and dispirited, the way he sat was stiff and uncomfortable as though his body hurt which it did since Jin Ling could feel the prickling current of resentful energy that flowed through him. The fire in his heart was tame and weak as though he truly had no desire to do anything anymore, as though life was too bright for him. It was an unsettling awareness Jin Ling had in this moment as he realized that HanGuang-Jun was right. 

Lan WangJi spoke up cutting into his reflections, “it is not too late yet. In the future, even if you regret…”

_Fucking hell Lan Zhan! ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT, I CAN CONTROL IT JUST FINE, WHO DARES CHALLENGE ME? WHO DARES FACE ME HEAD ON? HA I’M THE YILING LAOZU, GRANDMASTER OF NIGHTMARES, LIKE HELL I’LL LOSE MY HEAD TO THIS SHIT…._

Wei WuXian jumped to his feet, angry and irritated, “Lan Zhan!”

Behind him, the girls almost started vibrating and Jin Ling could feel the shift in the air as their killing intent started to fill the balcony, Wei WuXian tossed his words over his shoulder with no concern, “stop it.”

And that awful chill faded around the edges and Jin Ling shifted uncomfortably. This evil energy was kind of unbearable. How the hell could Wei WuXian live like this with this awful chill in his bones. The evil in his blood was thick and Jin Ling could truly empathize with Lan WangJi. He didn’t like it one bit, not the fact that he could feel it nor the fact that Wei WuXian had to wield it. But he could say nothing, he could do nothing. This was almost 20 years in the past and what evil would take Wei WuXian, he already knew but it didn’t make this moment any easier. In fact in some ways it made it worse knowing truly just how far this brave, selfless man would fall. 

“What can I say? Even though I don’t think that I’ll regret it, I don’t like it when people take guesses at how I’m going to be in the future, either.”

After a while of silence, Lan WangJi replied, “I am the one who was out of line.”

“Not really. But, indeed, looks like I shouldn’t have invited you up here. Today was because of my presumption.” Wei WuXian sighed.

 _Bah! It’s not like it's any different, we’re like fire and water. I guess we’ll just never get along_ Wei Ying thought with annoyance and melancholy in his heart and Jin Ling blinked at that. Regardless of what was happening in the scene, it was clear to him that HanGuang-Jun cared deeply for Wei WuXian and he in turn was deeply fond of Lan WangJi. How could these two not see that? 

Lan WangJi spoke with more care in his words but Wei Ying was too closed off to notice, “it was not.”

Wei WuXian smiled, his words brittle and far too polite, “Really? That’s good, then.”

He finished his wine in one gulp, “but, no matter what, I should still thank you. I’ll take it as you’re concerned for me. Then, I won’t bother HanGuang-Jun any longer. Let’s meet again if the chance comes up.”

He slammed the cup down onto the table with feeling still riled up and turned on his heel. He marched down the stairs, the resentful energy bubbling up under his skin with his irritation.

_Damn it, every damn time…._

He reached the first floor pausing as he caught sight of an elegant mirror hanging above a decorative table at the end of the hallway. He glanced at himself for a moment, scowling at what he saw. 

Jin Ling on the other hand was truly interested in this, he had never seen Wei WuXian in his real body and no one had any decent portraits of him. He considered the face that looked back at them. He was a strikingly handsome man with high cheekbones and elegant angles in the corners of his eyes with surprisingly long lashes. He was easily taller and broader than Mo XuanYu, long and lean with a slim waist.

His clothing and style were different too. He still wore the black robes he favored and he had a grey over robe with red flames around the edges of his sleeves with the legendary black flute Chenqing tucked in his belt. He wore his hair down in a long wave over his shoulders with a neat red ribbon to hold back the locks around his face. 

Jin Ling considered that for a moment. At one’s coming of age ceremony, one would be gifted their decorative crowns or headpieces by one of the higher ranking members of one’s family usually a grandfather or a father or even an uncle but Wei Ying wore nothing in his hair and Jin Ling realized with a snap that he had nothing to wear because he had no one to give him one. 

Jin Ling felt a pang in his heart and he remembered that Wei WuXian had lost both his parents and his adoptive ones. Was there any part of Wei WuXian’s life where sadness and sorrow did not tread?

_Bah….I shouldn’t have yelled at him like that….._

Wei WuXian considered himself in the mirror meeting his dark grey eyes with a frown. 

_I’m poor company indeed….hmph…._

Wei WuXian glared at himself and in that moment a whirlwind of hate rushed up within him spurred on by that cold current of resentful energy. In that space and time, Wei WuXian hated himself profoundly. He hated the bitter, volatile man he was, he hated his temper and he hated that negative energy curling around his senses. He hated that he needed it, he hated that without it he was as powerless as a child but what could he do now? The damage was done, he would be forever tainted, forever trapped in this suffocating blackness with nothing but the creeping cold in his veins.

_Whatever Lan Zhan I can control this shit just fine, my head is fine and my heart is just fucking fine_

Jin Ling tilted his head as that thought swept through him. He felt an odd weight fall into his stomach and something heavy and ominous settled around his shoulders. Wei WuXian’s heart was not fine and Jin Ling had only a moment to wonder if Lan WangJi’s premonitions would prove right in the end. 

Wei WuXian turned from the mirror with scorn and he blinked and in the space of a breath, the dream shimmered around them again and another memory swept over Jin Ling, his heart still cold with that nameless dread in his belly. 

~*~

Sect Leader Lan, HanGuang-Jun, a toast to each of you!” a man in the splendid golden robes of the LanlingJin sect raised a tray with two cups towards the Twin Jades of Lan with a drunken flush over his cheeks. He was an unattractive man with large features and dark skin and Jin Ling had no idea who he was. 

He glanced around surprised to see the main banquet hall of Lanling done up in ceremonial curtains with luxurious bouquets of flowers. It was clearly some fancy banquet from the looks of things. 

_Must be stupid to offer wine to the Lan Sect, dumbass_ Jin Ling rolled his eyes. How dumb do you have to be to offer the GusuLan Sect Leader and HanGuang-Jun alcohol? Not only was it stupid it was beyond rude to do so. Their sect prohibited liquor and Jin Ling wanted to smack this pompous man who oozed arrogance with his haughty, self-important grin. 

Suddenly Jin GuangYao hurried over and Jin Ling grimaced. _Ugh this asshole……._ Out of all the people he had seen so far, this was the most unpleasant. He had no desire to see the sect leader who had manipulated his father, Jin ZiXuan, to his death, who had played ZeWu-Jun for a fool, who had single handedly murdered his father, his wife, his brother, his son. Nothing on earth could redeem this vile man but like it or not he was part of this memory as Wei Ying walked up the white stone steps towards the main hall, his sharp ears catching the conversation and he raised his eyebrow at the stupidity of this man who dared to disrespect ZeWu-Jun and Lan Zhan. 

Jin GuangYao tried to save the situation with his silver tongue moving to stand between that man, whoever he was and the Two Jades of Lan, “ZiXun, both ZeWu-Jun and HanGuang-Jun grew up in Cloud Recesses. There are over three thousand rules on their stone wall. Instead of asking them to drink, why not…”

Jin ZiXun regarded Jin GuangYao with a disgusted sneer, “The Jin Sect and the Lan Sect have always been like one family. We’re all the same. My two Lan brothers, if you don’t drink this, you’d be looking down on me!”

Jin Ling heard a few followers praise, “What a bold move! That’s just how an esteemed cultivator should act!”

 _What a stupid move, what the hell, who the hell is this dumbass, Jin ZiXun???_ Jin Ling wracked his brain for the name but he couldn’t for the life of him remember who he was. 

Jin GuangYao continued to smile, rubbing his temples lightly. Lan XiChen stood up but Jin ZiXun continued to pester, turning to Lan XiChen, “Don’t say anything. Sect Leader Lan, our two sects aren’t strangers to each other. Don’t deal with me like how you deal with strangers! Just tell me one thing—are you drinking it or not?”

Jin GuangYao continued to smile as he spoke up trying to diffuse the situation, “After this, they’ll return on their swords. Drinking would probably affect their…”

Jin ZiXun thought nothing of this, “It’s not like they’d get drunk with just a few cups. Even if I drank eight large bowls, I’d still be able to fly away!”

A wave of cheers came from all around them just as Wei WuXian walked into the hall. He marched over to the little group and snatched the cup of liquor and threw his head back drinking it all in one gulp before he showed the empty bottom to Jin ZiXun, “I drank it for him. You satisfied yet?”

 _Moron…._ Wei WuXian smiled with that cynical laughing grin he had taken up after the Burial Mounds. 

Lan XiChen spoke in mild surprise and greeting, “Young Master Wei.”

Jin Ling looked around the hall curiously as he spied men and women dressed up in their splendor and he heard someone exclaim in a hushed tone, “When did he come?!”

Wei WuXian put down the cup. With one hand, he fixed his lapel, “Just a moment ago.”

Jin GuangYao was quick to react, his enthusiasm still warm, “I wasn’t aware of Young Master Wei’s arrival at Koi Tower. The lack of a welcome was my fault. Would you like to be seated? Oh, right—do you have an invitation?”

Wei WuXian didn’t make small talk either, getting straight to the point, “No thanks. I don’t.” He nodded slightly at Jin ZiXun, “Young Master Jin, could I please have a word with you?”

 _A word about what?? What in the world is going to happen now??_ Jin Ling wondered, he could feel the tight coil of tension in Wei WuXian’s spine. Something important was happening, something urgent and Jin Ling didn’t quite know what to think so he settled back down to wait observing the anxiety on the faces of the watchers. It seemed this was another time when Wei WuXian had already taken the title of YiLing Laozu since fear and trepidation was prevalent across the hall. 

Jin ZiXun spoke haughtily, “If you have anything to say, come after our banquet is over.”

“How long do I have to wait?”

“Probably around six to eight hours. Or maybe ten to twelve. Or until tomorrow.”

Wei WuXian spoke with short clipped words as if this conversation was going much too slow for his taste, “I’m afraid I can’t wait for that long.”

Jin ZiXun spoke with arrogance and Jin Ling scowled. _Who in the fuck are you?! You pompous prick???_

“You’ll have to wait even if you can’t.”

Jin GuangYao spoke up next trying in vain to play peacemaker, “Young Master Wei, what do you need ZiXun for? Is it a pressing matter?”

“Pressing indeed. It allows for no delay.”

_I have to find Wen Ning and I have to find him now! Wen Qing is waiting for me and she’s about to topple over as it is…_

Jin Ling blinked as that foreign thought passed over him, _Wen Ning?_ That mild, shy, timid young man who had saved jiujiu? What’s going on? Jin Ling wondered with annoyance, it seemed every time the dream changed, he was totally at a loss knowing nothing about the circumstances but he listened in attentively wondering which memory this would turn out to be. 

Jin ZiXun turned to Lan XiChen, holding up the other cup, “Sect Leader Lan, here, here. You haven’t drunk this cup yet!”

 _Is this idiot trying to get himself killed? What the fuck is wrong with this dumbass???_ Jin Ling thought crossly. It offended him to no end, SiZhui was Lan and his father and his uncle were Lan and it was almost like a spit in their faces to insist the way Jin ZiXun was doing. Jin Ling itched to slap that slimy smile right off his ugly face. 

Jin Ling felt their dark grey eyes narrow, “fine. Then I’ll talk about it right here. Young Master Jin, have you heard of someone by the name of Wen Ning?”

Jin ZiXun replied with irritation in his voice, “Wen Ning? I haven’t.”

“You definitely remember him. Last month, when you were night-hunting in the area of Ganquan, you chased an eight-winged bat king to the gathering place, or the detention camp, of the Wen Sect’s remnants and brought a group of the Wen Sect’s disciples. The one in the lead was him.”

Jin ZiXun spoke with a rude tone to his voice, “I don’t remember, which means I don’t remember. I’m not so idle as to go out of my way to remember a Wen-dog’s name.”

Wei WuXian spoke swiftly, “fine. I don’t mind explaining it in greater detail. You couldn’t catch the bat king and happened to run into a few of the Wen Sect’s disciples who were there to investigate the same thing. And so, you threatened them to carry spirit-attraction flags to be your bait. They didn’t dare do it. One person stepped out and tried to reason with you. That’s the Wen Ning I’m talking about. After some delay, the bat king got away. You beat up the Wen cultivators, took them away by force, and the group disappeared. Do I need to say any more details? They still haven’t returned yet. Apart from you, I don’t know who in the world I could possibly ask.”

Jin ZiXun scoffed with his arrogant attitude, “Wei WuXian, what do you mean? You came for him? You aren’t standing up for a Wen-dog, are you?”

Wei WuXian grinned a dark, eerie smile and Jin Ling shivered uncomfortably as that cold resentful energy began to churn with his irritation bubbling up under his skin,“since when is it your business whether I’d like to stand up for him or cut his head off? Just give him to me!”

At the last sentence, the grin on his face vanished. His tone turned cold as well. It was clear that he had lost his patience. Jin ZiXun’s arrogance wilted a little intimidated by Wei WuXian’s attitude. Yet, his anger soon soared. He shouted, “Wei WuXian, you are too bold! Did the LanlingJin Sect invite you today? And you dare run wild here. Do you really think that you’re invincible, that nobody has the courage to confront you? Do you want to overturn the Heavens?”

Wei WuXian smiled another one of his dark smiles, “You’re comparing yourself to the Heavens? Excuse my language, but your face is a little too thick, isn’t it?”

Jin ZiXun’s cheeks flushed slightly. Just as he was about to rebut, sitting on the foremost seat, Jin GuangShan spoke up.

 _Grandfather??_ Jin Ling gasped for yet another time. Despite the heavy connotations of these dreams, he was once again excited to see yet another member of his family. He recognized Jin GuangShan immediately since Lanling had a number of portraits of him and the previous sect leaders. He was a very handsome man and he knew it, his confidence and arrogance seeping through into his words, into the very air around him and Jin Ling frowned. While Jin GuangShan was definitely an elegant man, his attitude left a sour taste in Jin Ling’s mouth. 

He spoke with an almost kind voice, “It’s not anything too important anyways. You youngsters, why lose your tempers over such a thing? However, Young Master Wei, let me be fair here. Barging in when the LanlingJin Sect is holding a private banquet is indeed inappropriate.”

Wei WuXian nodded, “Sect Leader Jin, it was never my intention to disturb your private banquet. My apologies. However, the whereabouts of the people whom Young Master Jin took are still unclear. Just a moment of delay, and it might be too late. One of the group had once saved me before. I will definitely not sit back and watch. Please do not feel pressured. I will make amends for this at a later date.”

Jin GuangShan spoke up amicably, “whatever it is, it must be able to wait a little longer. Come, come, you can sit down first. Let’s talk about this with no rush.”

“Thank you, Sect Leader Jin, but I won’t stay for long. The matter can’t be delayed. Please let this be sorted out as soon as possible.”

Jin GuangShan smiled a pleasant smile and Jin Ling balked at how fake it looked on his face, “there’s no need for hurry. If we break things down, there are indeed a few things between us that haven’t been accounted for yet, things that can’t be delayed. Now that you’re here, how about we use the opportunity to sort those things out as well?”

Wei WuXian raised a brow, “Account for what?”

“Young Master Wei, we’ve brought this up a couple of times with you already. You haven’t forgotten, have you? … During the Sunshot Campaign, you had once used a certain object.”

Wei WuXian tilted his head, “Oh. You did mention it before. The Tiger Seal?”

_Holy Shit?! THE Tiger Seal?! That thing is legendary?????!!!!!_

Jin GuangShan cut into his thoughts, “it is said that the Stygian Tiger Seal was casted from the iron of a sword that you acquired in the cave of the Xuanwu of Slaughter. Back then, you used it on the battlefield once. Its powers were horrifying, causing even a few of our own cultivators to be affected by its residual force…”

Wei WuXian interrupted growing anxious and annoyed. This was taking too long, he had to find Wen Ning not sit here and play words with Jin GuangShan, “please get to the point.”

“This is the point. In the battle, apart from the Wen Sect, our sides undertook great losses as well. In my opinion, such a weapon is quite difficult to control. For it to be in the hands of just a single person might be…”

Before he even finished his words, Wei WuXian began to laugh. It was a cold, cruel laugh with none of the warmth Jin Ling was used to and it hurt his ears. He really did not like this Wei WuXian or rather he did not like the hold all that evil energy had on him. 

After a few laughs, he continued, “Sect Leader Jin, let me ask you something else. Do you think that, because the QishanWen Sect is gone, the LanlingJin Sect has all right to replace it? Everything has to be given to you? Everyone has to listen to you? Looking at how the LanlingJin Sect does things, I almost thought that it was the QishanWen Sect’s empire all over again.”

Hearing this, Jin GuangShan’s square-shaped face flashed a hue of embarrassed anger and a guest cultivator on his right shouted, “Wei WuXian! Watch your words!”

Wei WuXian stared at Jin GuangShan with his steel grey eyes. He was not here to play games, he didn’t give a fuck what the cultivational world wanted and he certainly was not going to bow to LanlingJin that sought to be the power that the QishanWen Sect had been. 

“Did I say something wrong? Forcing living people to be bait and beating them up whenever they refused to obey—is this any different from what the QishanWen Sect does?”

Another guest cultivator stood up, “Of course it’s different. The Wen-dogs did all kinds of evil. To arrive at such an end is only karma for them. We only avenged a tooth for a tooth, letting them taste the fruit that they themselves had sown. What’s wrong with this?”

Wei WuXian spoke with a cold voice, resentful energy filling his mouth and falling off his tongue, “take revenge on the ones who bite you. Wen Ning’s branch doesn’t have much blood on their hands. Don’t tell me that you find them guilty by association?”

Another person spoke, “Young Master Wei, is it that they don’t have much blood on their hands just because you say so? These are only your one-sided words. Where’s the evidence?”

Wei WuXian threw the words right back, “you think that they killed the innocent—aren’t those your one-sided words as well? Shouldn’t you be the first one to show evidence? Why would you instead ask me for evidence?”

The person shook his head and someone else sneered, “Back then, when the Wen Sect slaughtered our people, it was thousands of times crueler than this! They didn’t treat us with justice and morality, so why should we treat them with such?”

Wei WuXian grinned, “Oh. The Wen-dogs did all kinds of evil, so anyone whose surname is Wen can be killed? That’s not it, is it? Many of the clans who defected from the Wen Sect are quite well-off right now, aren’t they? In this hall, isn’t there a few sect leaders from clans that used to be under the Wen Sect’s wing?”

As the sect leaders saw that he recognized them, their expressions changed at once. Wei WuXian continued, “Since anyone whose surname is Wen can be used as an outlet of anger as one pleases, no matter if they’re innocent or not, does it mean that it’s fine even if I kill all of them right now?”

He tilted his head a little and Jin Ling felt that resentful energy creep up into his chest, its cold prickling his face as it curled around his smile and he placed his hand on his waist where Chenqing hung. 

Jin Ling balked, he could feel that evil energy swirling through his body, running along those dead spiritual pathways as though to incite violence, to push Wei Ying into madness. It felt awful, like poison ran in his veins.

Lan WangJi’s lowered his voice, “Wei Ying!”

Jin GuangYao spoke up in a gentle voice, “Young Master Wei, please don’t overdo things. Things are still open for discussion.”

Jin GuangShan stood up as well, his face a mixture of shock, anger, fear, and hatred, “Wei WuXian! Just because… Sect Leader Jiang isn’t here doesn’t mean you can be so reckless!”

Wei WuXian’s voice was harsh and cold, that negative energy simmering and swirling just beneath the surface, “do you think that I wouldn’t be reckless if he were here? If I wanted to kill someone, who could stop me, and who would dare stop me?!”

Lan WangJi spoke, one word at a time, “Wei Ying, put down Chenqing.”

Wei WuXian looked at him. From against the pair of eyes as mild as glass, he saw his own hideous reflection. He spun around, shouting, “Jin ZiXun!”

Jin GuangShan hurried, “ZiXun!”

“Cut the nonsense,” Wei WuXian growled out, “I’m sure everyone knows that my patience is limited. Where is he? With so much time wasted on you, I’ll give you three. Three!”

Wei WuXian narrowed his eyes and that dark power swelled within him, begging to be released, urging for violence and bloodshed. It pounded in his pulse points, tingling coldly just below the surface of his skin and he began again, “Two!”

Jin ZiXun paled and finally yelled, “… Fine! Fine! It’s just a few Wen-dogs. Take them if you want to. I’m not fooling around with you any longer! Go find them at Qiongqi Path on your own!”

Wei WuXian laughed coldly, “If only you said it sooner.”


	6. Chapter 6

Wei WuXian wrapped that darkness around him and left on the wind. As quickly as he came, he went. He almost flew down the steps of Koi Tower turning one corner after another until he arrived at an alley, “I know where he is. Let’s go.” 

He called to a stooped figure and Jin Ling paled immediately as he spied a haggard, thin, pale form of Wen Qing. She looked horrible with sickly white skin and black bags under her eyes. She was completely different from the proud leader she had once been. 

And with Wen Qing’s weak voice in his ear, the dream trembled in the air and suddenly Jin Ling found himself in a large open valley, it was nighttime and cold strands of rain drenched the sky and all who found themselves there. 

_Qiongqi Path_ Jin Ling realized as he looked around, he only knew it to be so because Wei WuXian knew. 

“All of the people are here?” He spoke with a hard voice looking at a LanlingJin Inspector. He focused on him with razor sharp attention and the man froze immediately quailing under the gaze.

 _What now?! That was Wen Qing and this is Qiongqi Path so where is Wen Ning, is he here?_ Jin Ling fell out of his head as he focused on the conversation happening before him and he swallowed heavily trying to force that resentful energy out of his throat. It was boiling in his veins with the weight of Wei WuXian’s feelings, dread and anxiety simmering just below the surface. 

The inspector turned toward him, “That’s right.”

Wei WuXian replied with a clipped cool voice, “Fine. For the time being, I’ll take it that all the living ones are here. Then, what about the rest?”

Wen Qing’s figure wobbled out of the corner of his eye and Jin Ling felt worry well up inside him, compared to the living the rest could only be the dead and Jin Ling hoped fiercely that that didn’t mean Wen Ning was dead. Wen Ning had saved his uncle, saved Wei Ying, gave them shelter, had rescued the bodies of his grandmother and grandfather. He could not be dead somewhere in the dirt under this awful freezing rain.

The inspectors quickly replied, “That’s not the way to talk. Although it’s all Wen cultivator’s here, we’ve never dared do anything fatal.”

As though he heard nothing, Wei WuXian took out the flute at his waist. The few prisoners who were beside him, trudging forward, screamed before they threw off the heavy objects on their backs and fled. Within the valley, a large circle of space formed immediately, him in the center.

From everywhere, people exclaimed, “It’s the ghost flute Chenqing!”

Wei WuXian put it to his lips and the shrill sound of the flute ripped through the night sky and across the curtains of rain with the force of an arrow. Immediately after, its residue echoed through the entire valley. Only one note, and Wei WuXian placed Chenqing back in his belt. He stood with his arms hanging down, a cold grin at his lips as he let the drops of rain dampen his hair and clothes.

Soon, someone suddenly spoke, “What’s that sound?”

Yelps of surprise suddenly came from the far side of the crowd. Scrambling, the people soon emptied out an area of the circle with which they surrounded him. In the area stood slantingly around a dozen tattered figures, tall and short, men and women. Some of them gave off the stench of rotting flesh. The one who stood at the front was Wen Ning, whose eyes were still open.

_Oh no….no...Wen Ning……_

Jin Ling felt his heart fall to his feet as he stared, his heart echoing in time to Wei WuXian as a wave of regret caught up in his chest. What he wouldn’t give to have been just a little faster, to have arrived just a little sooner. Wei Ying ached with a pain that was almost physical to see the corpse Wen Ning had become. 

His face was as pale as wax and his pupils were dilated. The blood at the corner of his lips had already dried into a dark brown. Although his chest didn’t rise or fall at all, it was obvious to see that half of his ribcage had collapsed. Nobody who saw such a scene would think that he was still alive, but Wen Qing still didn’t give up, grabbing for his pulse with trembling hands.

Holding onto him for a few moments, she finally broke into tears. Wen Qing cried as she touched Wen Ning’s ribs with trembling fingers, as if she wanted to piece them back together. In vain hopes, she clung onto the nonexistent possibility. Her sweet features were distorted, becoming unsightly, ugly, even. But, when someone was in the deepest of their sorrows, they’d never be able to cry with grace.

In front of the stiff corpse of her only younger brother, not a fragment was left of the pride that she tried so hard to maintain.

The shock that Wen Qing received was too strong. Finally, she couldn’t hang on any longer and passed out. Standing behind her, Wei WuXian caught her without saying anything, letting her lean onto his chest. He closed his eyes for a moment shoving that resentful energy back as sorrow caught in his heart. Wen Ning had saved him, had been a lifeline when he needed it most, he was the reason his only brother was still alive, he was the reason Madam Yu and Uncle Jiang could rest in peace, he was the reason Jiang Cheng was whole and as happy as he could be and Wei WuXian felt tears creep along the edges of his lashes as he held Wen Qing’s collapsed form. 

If there was one person on this whole godforsaken earth who did not deserve this it was Wen Ning with his sweet heart and gentle demeanor. He was too soft for this world, a delicate flower in the ruins the Wen Sect had left behind. 

Wei WuXian grabbed hold of that dark energy inside him and used it to fortify himself shoving his tears back, he spoke with a cold voice, evil giving his tone an eerie echo, “who killed him?”

The inspector at the head thought that he still had a chance, answering in denial, “Young Master Wei, you mustn’t say such a thing. We wouldn’t dare kill a single person here. He’s the one who wasn’t careful while working, fell off the valley walls and died.”

Wei WuXian spoke cynically with a mocking lilt to his voice, “nobody would dare kill a single person? Is that true?”

The inspectors swore in unison, “Absolutely! Not a single one!”

Wei WuXian smiled, “Oh. I understand.”

Immediately after, he continued calmly, “It’s because they’re Wen-dogs, and Wen-dogs aren’t people. So even if you killed them, it doesn’t count as having killed people. That’s what you mean, isn’t it? Or did you really think I wouldn’t know how someone died?”

All of the inspectors were speechless. As if they finally realized that the situation wasn’t in their favor, they looked like they were shrinking backward. Wei WuXian maintained his cold smile, “It’s best if you admit everything honestly. Who’s the one that killed him? Step forward on your own. Or else, I’d prefer killing the wrong people over letting them go. Killing all of you would make sure that no one is let off.”

The head inspector stammered, “The YunmengJiang Sect and the LanlingJin Sect have been getting along with each other. You mustn’t…”

Hearing this, Wei WuXian glanced at him, his tone amused, “You’re quite brave. Are you threatening me?”

The head inspector hurried, “Of course not, of course not.”

Wei WuXian chuckled darkly and that resentful energy swirled up through him again in a wave. It was so powerful Jin Ling cringed. How in the world could Wei Ying deal with this. He felt like he would drown, would simply die from all this horrifying evil coursing through him. But Wei WuXian remained far too calm for the maelstrom in his veins. 

“Congratulations to you for successfully draining all my patience. Since you don’t want to speak up, let’s let him answer on his own.”

As though it’d been waiting for his words for a long time, Wen Ning’s frozen corpse suddenly moved, raising its head. Before the two nearest inspectors could even scream, each of their throats was clenched by a hand as firm as iron.

Expressionless, Wen Ning raised up the two short-legged inspectors high in the air. The empty circle around them grew larger and larger. The head inspector shouted, “Young Master Wei! Young Master Wei! Please go easy on us! Doing this in the heat of the moment would lead to irreversible consequences!”

The rain fell heavier and heavier. Drops of water trickled incessantly down Wei WuXian’s cheeks, a cold imitation of the tears that wanted to fall from his steel grey eyes.

Wei WuXian pulled all that evil energy around him to force the wave of sorrow back from his heart and he suddenly spun around. He put his hand on Wen Ning’s shoulder before shouting, “Wen QiongLin!”

As if a reply, Wen Ning let out a long, thundering roar. 

Wei WuXian spoke one word at a time, “Whoever caused all of you to be like this, let them meet the same end. I give you the right to do so. Settle everything!”

Hearing this, Wen Ning immediately crashed the two inspectors that he was holding together. Like exploding watermelons, the two heads immediately let out a loud bang, sending red and white flying everywhere.

The scene was hauntingly grotesque and Jin Ling paled further watching the butchery. Wen Ning was vicious and meticulous and screams sounded all throughout the valley. Horses neighed and prisoners fled—it was more than chaotic. Wei WuXian took up Wen Qing in his arms. As if nothing happened, he crossed the panicking crowd and held up the reins of a horse. As he was about to turn around, a slight-figured prisoner called him, “… Mr. Wei.”

Wei WuXian turned to look at him, “What?”

The prisoner’s voice quivered slightly as he pointed in a certain direction, “There’s… There’s a house on that side of the valley. They use it to… lock people inside and beat them up. Anyone who dies would be dragged outside and buried. Some of the people you’re looking for might be over there…”

Wei WuXian nodded quickly at him, “Thank you.”

He followed the direction that the person pointed and indeed saw a shed that seemed like it was only temporarily built. Holding Wen Qing in one hand, he kicked the door open. In a corner of the room sat around a dozen people, all of them bruised and bleeding. They flinched from the shock of him kicking the door open so crudely. When a few of them saw Wen Qing, lying in Wei WuXian’s arms, they rushed over, ignoring their heavy injuries, “Maiden Qing!”

One of them seethed, “Who… Who are you? What did you do to our Office Leader?”

Wei WuXian spoke quickly with a sharp voice, “Nothing. Who are the cultivators under Wen Ning? Cut the nonsense and step out now!” As soon as they left the house, before they could even tell what the chaos within the valley was all about, Wei WuXian ordered, “Get the horses. Hurry up!”

A middle-aged man protested, “No, our Young Master Wen Ning…”

Suddenly, a severed head flew across his sight. The people turned around just in time to see Wen Ning crash a corpse the limbs of which were still twitching onto the ground. With bare hands, he grabbed for the internal organs.

Wei WuXian shouted, “Enough!”

Low growls came from Wen Ning’s throat, as though he still wasn’t satisfied. Wei WuXian whistled and said again, “Get up!”

Wen Ning could only stand up. Wei WuXian turned his thundercloud grey eyes to the group of Wens speaking quickly, “What are you waiting for? Mount the horses! Don’t tell me you’re waiting for me to find you swords?”

One of the group remembered that an elderly was here. He hastened to bring the old woman and the toddler along, helping them onto a horse. Holding the still-unconscious Wen Qing, Wei WuXian himself mounted his horse as well. The dozens of people found a single dozen horses amid the pandemonium. Around two or three people took one horse despite the discomfort. The old woman couldn’t ride one by herself and she had to somehow carry the child with her.

Seeing this, Wei WuXian stretched out his hand, “Give him to me.”

The old woman shook her head many times. The child hugged his granny’s neck tightly as well, on the verge of sliding off. There was an unconcealable fear within the two’s eyes. With a reach, Wei WuXian lifted the child up and tucked him under his arm.

The old woman was scared to death, “A-Yuan! A-Yuan!”

 _A-Yuan? Wen Yuan?? SiZhui!!!!!!!!! Oh hell, you’re so cute…..aw SiZhui….I miss you…_ Jin Ling felt a smile tug at his lips as he thought about him fondly. He really did miss him, how long has it been? These dreams felt unending, was the fight still going on? Must be since they were still trapped in these nightmares. 

Although the child called A-Yuan was still quite young, he already knew fear, but still he didn’t cry. He only continued to nibble at his fingers as he snuck a few glances at Wei WuXian and Jin Ling felt his heart grow soft in his chest when he met those big dark eyes. 

Jin Ling glanced down with sweet curiosity at the mild child now in Wei WuXian’s arms and he felt a deep fondness in his heart. Whatever awful regrets Wei WuXian had Jin Ling was grateful to see his lover even if he was only a child, and a cute one at that. 

_I hope he’s doing ok….I mean he probably is cuz he’s so freaking strong….and cute too….aw damn….I really do miss him…….._ Jin Ling thought wistfully. He hoped these dreams would end soon, he wanted to make sure everyone was ok, wanted to check on Wei Ying and definitely wanted to see SiZhui again. 

Wei WuXian shouted cutting into his thoughts, “we’re going!” His legs struck against the horse’s back and he led the group. Around a dozen horses followed behind him, dashing into the night amid the rain.

As they rode hard and fast through Qiongqi Path all Jin Ling could feel was Wei Ying’s regret that overshadowed his happiness at seeing SiZhui and pulling him down again. Regrets that were heavy and dark, regrets that he couldn’t save Wen Ning, regrets that he had dared turn him into a ferocious corpse, regrets that this night had run with blood but really what could he have done? He was incapable of denying Wen Qing and Jin Ling understood that on a very basic level. How could he refuse to save her brother when she had given everything to save his? They rode into the night, cold and desolate, nothing but sadness and despair in Wei WuXian’s heart and the evil energy in his veins.

Jin Ling gritted his teeth as shivers crawled up his spine from all the resentful energy that flowed through him and around him and within him. It felt like tiny shards of ice ran through his blood. Wei WuXian made to blink the rain out of his eyes as he led the Wen Sect remnants somewhere, anywhere else and the dream dissolved. 

~*~

Suddenly Jin Ling was standing in a merchant shop as voices drifted in from around the corner. 

“Speaking of it, there’s been a lot of joyous occasions these days, hasn’t there?”

“You mean the seventh-day celebration of Jin ZiXuan’s son? There’s a whole pile of colorful things, and the kid didn’t like any of them. Cried so hard that the roof of Glamor Hall was almost screamed off. How amusing that he giggles like that whenever he sees his dad’s Suihua. His parents were so happy. They all said he’s going to be a wonderful swordsman when he grows up.”

 _…………………………………….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s!!?? That’s m…..me….._ Jin Ling swallowed dryly. _Did they really say that?!_ Jin Ling had heard the story where instead of all the odds and ends he could choose from as a baby, he had chosen Suihua and for a moment he wished for his sword. It was a constant presence at his side and being here in these dreams knowing the people he cared about were still fighting the Dream Eater left him itching with the need to do something. 

He wished he could just hack his way out of these nightmares, tear through the dreams and get back to help them. The Dream Eater was a ferocious beast and the fact that both he and Wei WuXian were trapped in this hell must mean the battle was still going on. He was just about to embrace a bout of self-pity when something odd registered in his, Wei WuXian’s, heart. 

For the first time since these dreams had started he felt something other than pain or despair. He felt excitement and curiosity run through him and he blinked in surprise. 

_I wonder what shijie’s baby looks like, little A-Ling must be super cute since shijie is so cute._ Wei WuXian smiled to himself as he lifted an elegant tassel up in his hand to examine it. 

_No, not this one, hmmm he will already have the purple Jiang bell so maybe a black tassel? No the charm is white and black would be too dark, Jin Ling must be a happy child, so maybe I just go with white all together?_

_I can’t wait to see them, shijie must be so beautiful now, she’s definitely going to be happy even if it’s with that peacock…_

Jin Ling was astounded at the bubbling feelings coursing through him. It was so strong, his hope to see his shijie and her family burning bright inside of him. His feelings of happiness were just as strong as his feelings of despair and Jin Ling marvelled for a moment. He had never felt such light inside Wei WuXian. 

_He’s thinking…...about me………and mom….._ Jin Ling shifted awkwardly. It was so very odd to hear these thoughts, to feel how happy Wei WuXian was just to meet him. _Did he really care that much but….but I….._ he felt his thoughts taper off. He didn’t know how to read this. How was he supposed to feel right now? The man who he had once loathed, the person who had caused his family so much suffering was here in this moment bright and happy at something so simple. 

_Did it matter that much to him? Did he truly care this much?_ Jin Ling frowned to himself. Empathy didn’t lie, Wei WuXian was almost floating with excitement and the only thing in his heart was family and Jin Ling really didn’t know what to do about it. It touched him on a very basic level, moved him though he still didn’t know what to make about that either. 

The voice of a female cultivator came over, “Madam Jin is so lucky… She must’ve given up on rising into immortality in her last life that she gained such good fortune in this life.”

Her companion replied, “Looks like it’s true that no matter what you’re good at, it’s all fine as long as you have a good background. She’s clearly just so-so…”

Wei WuXian frowned slightly as he narrowed his eyes. _You better shut your trap talking about shijie like that…._

Fortunately, the somewhat sour comment was quickly overcome by a louder voice, “The LanlingJin Sect really does deserve its reputation. Even a baby who’s just been born a few days gets such a grand display.”

“Don’t you remember whom the baby’s parents are? Could they really be sloppy over it? It was not only that Young Madam Jin’s husband refuses to be sloppy. If the display was just a tad bit smaller, her mother-in-law, her younger brother—which of the two would’ve allowed it? In the full-month celebration a few days later, it could only be even more extravagant.”

“Speaking of it, have you heard of how it’s said that to this full-month celebration… a certain somebody was invited?”

“Who is it?”

“Wei WuXian!”

A momentary silence suddenly fell upon the Treasure Pavilion and Wei WuXian swallowed his sigh. He knew it couldn’t be helped. He knew he had done everything possible to deserve his reputation but it did weigh on his heart. 

He had never been known for being the cloud over people’s heads. He used to be the life of the party, he used to make people laugh until they cried and he felt melancholy collect in his heart as that bubbly excitement dimmed. 

_Why did life have to turn out this way?_ He considered the negative energy that hung at the edges of his awareness, always there, always creeping around his thoughts and he hated it. For a brief moment, he loathed it all over again and he loathed himself as well. But really, what could he have done? He would always save his shidi regardless and if this was the price to pay for it, he would pay it gladly. 

_I wonder how Jiang Cheng is doing? He’s got a new batch of disciples right about now…_

He thought wistfully, both happy and sad as the days of training and sword fighting fell over his memory. If only things could have been different. He would have loved to train new disciples too, to see the YunmengJiang Sect bold and proud once more. But those were just silly dreams. He was too old now to dream of the past, to hope for something different. This was the path he had chosen. A dark path on a single plank bridge and nothing and no one could save him from it.

Someone exclaimed, “Really… I thought that was only rumor. Was he really invited?!”

“Yes! It was confirmed in the past couple of days. Wei WuXian will be going.”

Someone else aired their shock, “Just what did the LanlingJin Sect think it was doing? Have they forgotten about the number of innocent people Wei WuXian killed in Qiongqi Path?”

“Who’d dare go to Jin Ling’s full-month celebration now that such a person is invited? Anyways, I definitely won’t go no matter what.”

 _Bah whatever,_ Wei WuXian snagged another tassel, paid and left, warmth blooming in his heart again, _yes this one will do, very pretty_

A few strides later, he walked into a small alleyway and a black-clothed figure appeared, “Young Master, are you done with the purchase?”

 _Holy shit it’s Wen Ning?!_ Jin Ling stared in surprise, his eyes tracing that familiar pale face. He looked just like how he looked now with dark eyes and thin black veins curling up over his cheeks. He was definitely a corpse now and Jin Ling wondered for a moment how he was suddenly clear headed since the Wen Ning he had seen in the last dream had been nothing but a raging corpse. 

_These dreams….seriously, they could, you know explain stuff….hmph_ Jin Ling frowned with curiosity. He definitely wanted to know what Wei Ying had done to bring him back to reason. He was the only cultivator in the past or the present that had ever created a conscious ferocious corpse and though teachers loathed Wei WuXian, they did acknowledge his abilities and there were quite a few books that included him and his talents albeit always with strict warnings against his type of behavior. 

Wei WuXian tossed a delicate sandalwood box that he was holding towards Wen Ning. He caught it nimbly, far more nimbly than a corpse ought to be able to, and opened it to see a tassel pendant that hung off a piece of white jade. The jade was translucent. In it, soft light flowed as though it was alive.

Wen Ning beamed, “It’s so pretty!”

 _You bet your ass it’s pretty, only the best for my little nephew_ Wei WuXian grinned and Jin Ling swallowed awkwardly, unsure how to approach these feelings of happiness and pride directed towards him, even if it was to a much younger him. _Wei Ying…..you…...ugh….?._

“The pretty little thing wasn’t cheap at all. Your sister’s money almost wasn’t enough for buying this after a new outfit. I don’t have a single coin left anyways. I’ll just wait for the scolding when we get back.”

Wen Ning hurried, “No, no. Young Master is buying a present for Maiden Jiang’s child. Sister won’t scold you.”

“Mark your words. When she scolds me, remember to help out a bit.”

Wen Ning nodded before adding, “Young Master Jin Ling would definitely like this gift a lot.”

_I hope he does…._

However, Wei WuXian replied, “It’s not like this is the present I’m giving him. It’s only a small accessory. Those things in the Treasure Pavilion—what do they have except for looks?”

Wen Ning paused in surprise, “Then Young Master, what gift did you prepare?”

“The will of the Heavens shall not be grasped by mortals.” Wei WuXian spoke sagely as if guarding a secret most precious. 

Wen Ning mumbled and “oh” before he looked away and he really did stop asking. 

Wei WuXian glanced at him, excitement bubbling up in his heart. He was dying to tell someone about his gift but no matter how long he waited Wen Ning didn’t ask again. 

Wei Ying pouted with disappointment after a while, “Wen Ning, shouldn’t you keep on asking with utmost curiosity and persistence? How could you really stop asking after just an ‘oh’? Don’t you want to know what the present is???”

 _Wei Ying you’re so dumb, just tell him already_ Jin Ling grumbled. He really wanted to know what it was too. It seemed like this old Wei WuXian had moments of silly stupidity too and Jin Ling found that oddly comforting and he frowned again. Why should it be so comforting to see a little of the old Wei Ying he knew?? He wasn’t too sure and he focused on the conversation again feeling a little awkward.

Wen Ning stared at them blankly before he finally realized, “… I do! Young Master! What gift did you prepare?”

Wei WuXian finally took out another small wooden box from inside of his sleeve. He shook it in front of Wen Ning and smiled. Wen Ning took it over and opened it before exclaiming, “What an impressive bell!”

Jin Ling looked down into his hands and he almost gasped. The intricacy of its craftsmanship was indeed impressive. It was cast in a silver that was so pure it was almost white in color. Along the small bell was a strikingly vivid nine-petaled lotus carved onto its body. It was a breathtaking piece and Jin Ling wondered for a moment what master had made such a beautiful bell. 

Wen Ning spoke again with excitement in his soft voice, “Young Master, is this what you’ve been making for the past month or so, when you were shutting yourself in the Cave for days on end?”

“That’s right. As long as that nephew of mine carries this bell around, not a single creature whose level is just a bit too low can even think about getting close to him. You can’t touch it. It’ll probably leave you affected for some time as well if you do.”

 _…..what?!…..Wei Ying made that?!…..It’s beautiful……..and he…...he…..made it for…..for me???_ Jin Ling felt his mind turn in a circle. He felt so uncomfortable and awkward with this display of affection. He had always had a prickly relationship with Wei Ying since he still couldn’t quite come to terms with the fact that he had caused the death of his parents and to feel how much love and affection this version of Wei WuXian had for him was so incredibly odd and he was caught up again in his old guilt. Jin Ling felt guilt for wanting to hate him and guilt for wanting to like him and he sighed heavily, what was he supposed to feel? Wei Ying loved him so deeply and he hadn’t even met him yet….. 

Wen Ning nodded, “I can feel it, it’s really very powerful, and so beautiful, Young Master Jin will like it very much.” He tried to smile but the muscles in his face didn’t move quite right but Jin Ling could read it in his black eyes nonetheless and that made him feel another wave of guilt. How was he supposed to deal with this? Wen Ning had saved his uncle, had saved the bodies of his grandparents and he had shoved his hand straight through his father’s heart. What was he supposed to feel? Jin Ling looked away from that smiling gaze with another bout of uncomfortable awkwardness. In this moment, he simply could not understand his own heart. 

But Wei WuXian directed their gaze again as he took the tassel pendant and hung it to the silver bell. The two, when put together, looked extremely pleasing to the eye and he was quite satisfied with it, happiness and pride in his heart swirling with hope and excitement. He really did hope little Jin Ling would like it. He had spent a whole month funneling energy into it. He didn’t have any yang energy of his own so instead he had spent days and days crafting talismans that could generate positive energy for him. It could only do a small amount at any given time so it had taken him quite a long time to amass the amount he wanted. He glanced at the bell again as he laid it back in its box. It would make a handsome pair with the purple Jiang bell. 

Wen Ning spoke again, “But, since you’ll be attending Young Master Jin Ling’s full month celebration, Young Master, you have to hold it back when you see Maiden Jiang’s husband. Don’t clash with him…”

Wei WuXian waved his hand with a wry grin on his face, “You can relax about this. I know what to do and not do. For the sake of Jin ZiXuan having invited me, I won’t badmouth him for the entire year.”

Wen Ning scratched his head, embarrassed, “Last time, when Young Master Jin told people to present you with the invitation at the bottom of Burial Mound, I thought that it had to be a trap. And then it happened to be a misunderstanding. It really was unfair to him. I couldn’t tell before, but in reality, Young Master Jin is a nice person as well…”

“Yeah yeah, I suppose he can be but only because shijie straightened him out.” Wei Ying huffed as he considered Jin ZiXuan. He definitely didn’t like him very much since he had caused YanLi so much heartache but he was happy. He was very happy that shijie finally married the love of her life, had started her own family and Jin Ling sighed as that fierce love welled up in his heart again. 

_Ugh...I guess…...I guess Wei Ying really did like mom but then why would he kill her?? And he doesn’t seem to hate dad either, well he doesn’t like him but he doesn’t hate him enough to kill him. What the hell……_ Jin Ling wondered morosely. It was really, very hard to see the man he saw now as the killer of his parents. His heart was so warm and bright and Jin Ling wished for yet another time that he could understand what had happened so he could finally make up his mind one way or the other. 

_Meh that peacock better treat shijie well,_ but even as he thought that Wei WuXian smiled anyway. He knew that despite everything those two were indeed happily married and if he could go by the gossip it seemed Jin ZiXuan was smitten, head over heels now, showering the new Madam Jin with love and affection and lavish gifts and really her happiness was all Wei WuXian had ever wanted for his sister. 

Jin Ling sighed for the millionth time, though these emotions of happiness and excitement were a thousand times better than all that regret and pain and misery he had felt in all the previous dreams he was no fool. These were the Dream Eater nightmares and if Wei Ying was seeing this scene there would no doubt be some kind of horrible event and he tried to fortify himself. He was definitely dreading the rest of this dream made even worse by all the hope he could feel in Wei Ying’s heart.


	7. Chapter 7

Wei WuXian and Wen Ning set off down the street as they headed for Lanling and at noon, the two passed Qiongqi Path on their way. They walked into the valley and as soon as they reached the middle, Wei WuXian began to feel that something was not quite right.

He felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up and he glanced around warily just as Jin Ling swallowed down his nerves. He really wasn’t ready to see the rest of Wei Ying’s regrets. 

Wei WuXian glanced over to Wen Ning as he asked, “Is anything wrong?”

“No. It’s so quiet.”

“It really is a bit too quiet.”

He opened his senses to the resentful energy all around him and he couldn’t catch a single sliver of the inhuman noises that he had always been able to hear. Wei WuXian was instantly alarmed, whispering, “Let’s go!”

Just as he turned around, Wen Ning raised his hand to catch something.

It was a fletched arrow that came right for the middle of Wei WuXian’s chest!

Wei WuXian abruptly looked up. Many people emerged from countless hiding corners on both sides of the valley. There were over three hundred of them. Most wore robes of Sparks Amidst Snow, although some wore other uniforms as well. All of them carried bows on their backs and swords at their waists, clad in armor and full of vigilance. With the mountains and other people as defense, the tips of all swords and arrows were pointed at him. The fletched arrow that was the first to come at Wei WuXian was shot by the one leading the crowd. The man had a large build and darkish skin. His features seemed somewhat familiar.

 _WHAT THE HELL??!!???!?!_ Jin Ling swore as he caught sight of all the Jin Sect cultivators. _But they just invited him to my ceremony?! What is this, an ambush?? Why the hell would they ambush him?_ Jin Ling’s face twisted with anger as he considered the situation. _Was the invitation a trick? Why would they do that? Did dad do that? What the hell is going on????_

Wei WuXian spoke up for him as he growled, “Who are you?”

“You dare to ask who I am? I am Jin ZiXun!”

Wei WuXian immediately remembered. This was Jin ZiXuan’s cousin. He’d seen him a couple of times before. 

_That rat faced bastard who tried to make the Two Jades of Lan drink alcohol?! Ugh, disrespectful fuck…._ Jin Ling cursed as he felt Wei WuXian’s heart sink, he felt all that joy and happiness and excitement fade away as shadows took up places inside him and for a moment Jin Ling was pissed. He was righteously pissed off that they would take away one of Wei Ying’s brief moments of happiness. _Who the fuck is this prick and what the fuck right does he have to ruin everything?!_

Wei WuXian’s thoughts remained forcefully blank as he refused to consider the reasons behind this ambush. He really did not want to think that Jin ZiXuan had done something like this. 

_No, he wouldn’t, Jin ZiXuan is an honorable man and no matter how at odds we are he wouldn’t do this…..would he? Maybe…..he…..no, no. Let’s see what this is about before I go jumping to conclusions_ and Jin Ling was surprised out of his indignation. He was once again shocked by Wei WuXian. He was level headed and open, free of judgement which was more than Jin Ling could say for himself. He would have assumed the worst and he settled back down to hear the prick out. 

Jin ZiXun raised his voice, “Wei WuXian, I’m warning you—lift the evil curse that you put on me right now, and I can pretend like nothing happened and let you off the hook.”

Wei WuXian paused in surprise and so did Jin Ling. _What evil curse??_ Even though he knew it’d be taken as denial, he still had to clear things up, “What curse?”

As he expected, Jin ZiXun frowned, “You’re still pretending like you don’t know anything?” He tore his lapels open, roaring, “Fine. I’ll let you see just what an evil curse it is!”

Jin ZiXun’s chest was covered entirely in holes of all sizes! The smaller holes were the size of sesame seeds, while the larger ones were as large as soybeans. They were spread out on his body evenly, in a hair-rising sort of way.

Wei WuXian only took one glance at him, his eyes widening in shock and surprise, “Hundred Holes?”

Jin ZiXun snarled, “That’s right! Hundred Holes indeed!”

‘Hundred Holes’ was a curse of utmost brutality and Jin Ling was taken aback for a moment. He had read about this curse from the GusuLan Sect’s Library and it was a horrible spell to cast on someone. But just as surely as he recognized it, he too knew that Wei WuXian had not caused it. 

Though Wei WuXian momentarily felt almost sympathetic, he still thought that Jin ZiXun probably didn’t have much of a proper brain and Jin Ling laughed despite himself as they stared up at cliffs where the Jin cultivator stood. 

“You were cursed with Hundred Holes, but why would you come block my path? What’s it got to do with me?”

Jin ZiXun glanced at his chest as if he himself felt disgusted as well. He folded his lapels back, “Apart from a criminal who’s as used to using crooked means as you, who else could put such a savage thing on me?”

_Haha, really? I’m sure there are plenty of people who would curse you, you’re such a dumbass…_

But Wei WuXian held his tongue, he didn’t want to say it straight out and provoke Jin ZiXun, worsening the situation, “Jin ZiXun, I don’t use such underhanded tricks. If I want to kill someone, I’d let everyone know that this person died in my hands. And, if I really wanted you to die, you’d be a thousand times worse than how you are right now.”

Jin ZiXun snapped with anger, “You’ve always been quite arrogant, haven’t you? And now you’re not bold enough to admit what you did?”

Wei WuXian raised his eyebrow as he walked a few more steps down the path. He really didn’t have time for this, Jin Ling’s celebration was going to start this evening and he really did not want to be late, “I’m not the one who did it; why should I admit it?”

Killing intent flashed within Jin ZiXun’s eyes, “Courtesy before force—if you don’t take this chance to turn around, I won’t be letting you off easy either!”

Wei WuXian paused in his steps, and that cold, eerie energy started to vibrate along his nerve endings. It was always ready to shed blood, always ready to cause chaos and it felt Wei Ying’s irritation bubble up and almost like it was hungry it seemed to lick around the edges of his awareness. Jin Ling shivered in mild disgust. Really how the hell could Wei Ying deal with this? It was unbelievably unpleasant to feel it tickling the back of his throat. 

“Oh, really?” _Jin ZiXun are you threatening me? Haha really think you have a chance? Must have bigger balls than I thought_ Wei Ying sneered to himself as he turned again to look at this idiot who thought he had a chance in hell to face him. 

Jin Ling paled as he remembered his study books, there were two ways to lift the curse of Hundred Holes. Apart from having the one who placed the curse cut down their own cultivation and lifted the curse on their own, there was one most absolute method: To kill the one who placed the curse!

_Oh no?! He can’t be planning to kill Wei Ying? But he didn’t place the curse!!!!!!!_

Wei WuXian scoffed, “Not let me off easy? You? With just the couple hundreds of people you’ve got?”

Jin ZiXun waved his arm. All of the disciples placed their arrows on their bows, aiming at Wei WuXian and Wen Ning who were at the bottom of the valley. Wei WuXian lifted Chenqing to his lips as well. The shrill note of the flute ripped apart the silence of the valley.

However, a moment later, no reply had come. Jin ZiXun spoke with his haughty arrogant tone, “We cleaned the entire area out a long time ago, waiting for you to come. You won’t get any helpers no matter how much you play. This is the burial ground that we’ve prepared just for you!”

Wei WuXian laughed coldly, “You’re seeking your own death!”

As he finished, Wen Ning raised his hand and tore off the red string that hung a talisman at his neck.

After the string snapped, his body wavered, and the muscles on his face began to twist. Marks that resembled black cracks crawled up his neck to his cheeks. He suddenly lifted his head, letting out a long, inhuman roar!

 _SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!_ Jin Ling felt his heart race in his chest in time to Wei WuXian’s as they looked up at the cultivators and their notched arrows. 

Jin ZiXun raised his arm and ordered, “Release!” and a wave of arrows flew through the air into the valley right for them. 

Jin Ling had a moment of panic before Wen Ning broke apart a boulder with his bare hands and lifted it high up in the air, blocking as many arrows as he could. After the rain of arrows had ended, around a hundred cultivators leaped down the walls and charged at the two standing in the terrain. Wei WuXian walked back a few inches. With a sidestep, he dodged the sneak attack of a sword blade.

While Wen Ning was dealing with the hundred people, Jin ZiXun used the chance to attack. Seeing that Wei WuXian didn’t carry a sword, only carried a flute that was temporarily useless, he laughed, “This is the price you’ll pay for your arrogance. Without a sword, let’s see how you resist.”

With a flick of his hand, Wei WuXian sent out a row of talismans burning in green flames, diminishing Jin ZiXun’s sword glare as they collided. Wei Ying yanked his flute back out of his belt and parried the blade expertly weaving in and out of sword patterns as he continued to fight with Jin ZiXun. Seeing as how he had no blade, he would just have to hold out and try to catch him with some talismans or Wen Ning once he handled the rest of the cultivators. 

He used Chenqing like a sword and Jin Ling watched on pins and needles even as he marvelled at Wei Ying’s skill. He was a master swordsman and it showed and for a second he remembered that night in the bushes so many months ago when Wei Ying had managed to best HanGuang-Jun himself and he pumped his fist in the air.

There was no way Wei WuXian was going to lose to this prick. Jin Ling was vibrating with adrenaline as the two traded blows and he wished with his whole heart he could be there to help out. This whole fight was so stupid, Wei WuXian didn’t cast that curse and Jin ZiXun was a dumbass for his assumptions. 

Wei Ying slashed his flute through the air snapping Jin ZiXun’s blade away when something suddenly flew out of his sleeve. His gaze froze as he realized what had happened.

_SHIT?!_

It was the present that he prepared for Jin Ling. Jin ZiXun seemed as though he was going to dodge when he saw the change in expression on Wei WuXian’s face. Changing his mind, he caught it at once. It was a delicate little wooden box with a row of small characters carved on it—Jin Ling’s name and date of his birth. Jin ZiXun paused in surprise before he came to a realization, laughing loudly.

Wei WuXian’s face darkened, speaking one word at a time, “Give it back.”

Jin ZiXun raised the wooden box, mocking, “A present for A-Ling?”

Wen Ning was standing not far away in the distance and Jin Ling could just see him out of the corner of his eye. Alone worth more than a hundred soldiers, he battled amid the chaos. But he couldn’t focus too long on him as rage boiled through his veins. Wei WuXian was furious and by extension Jin Ling was too. 

Jin ZiXun scoffed, “You didn’t really think that you could attend A-Ling’s full-month celebration, did you?”

That sentence hit Wei WuXian’s heart like a blow making his hands tremble slightly.

 _But I……_ Wei Ying felt shock for a moment and Jin Ling raged in his place, _YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GIVE IT BACK! HE SPENT A MONTH MAKING IT FOR ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT, OF COURSE HE’S GOING TO COME TO LANLING TO SEE ME!!!_

At this point, a voice shouted, “Stop!” And everyone turned to look and it was Jin Ling’s turn to stare as absolute shock poured through him magnified by Wei WuXian. 

_Jin ZiXuan?! What the hell is he doing here?_

_DAD?! ARGH WHAT THE?????_ Jin Ling couldn’t stop staring, he couldn’t even think a straight line. He had never seen his father before, the palace portraits weren’t very detailed but here amid the chaos, he drank in the sight of the man he had always longed for, had always wanted a chance to meet. He was tall and broad in the shoulders with elegant white and gold robes. His long black hair high on his head as he dropped down from his sword and Jin Ling gasped despite himself. It was Suihua!

A white-clothed figure leaped down the valley lightly, blocking between Wei WuXian and Jin ZiXun. Seeing who had come, Jin ZiXun exclaimed, “ZiXuan? Why are you here?!”

Jin ZiXuan placed one hand on the hilt of his sword, enraged, “Why do you think I’m here?!”

Jin Ling gaped, his heart was racing in his chest and he felt a little faint. His father was so impressive, handsome and regal even as his brown eyes flickered with anger. The same brown eyes he had. He felt short of breath and he couldn’t direct his thoughts at all as he stared and stared and stared. He couldn’t even focus on the conversation so engrossed he was in the man he had always wanted to know. 

Jin ZiXun spoke quickly, “Where’s A-Yao?”

Jin ZiXuan spoke with a dark tone as he moved to place himself even more firmly between them, “I stopped him at Koi Tower. If not for how I exposed him after I saw that he looked strange, you two are just going to continue with this? Why didn’t you tell me at all that you were cursed with Hundred Holes and instead came to do this without saying anything?!”

Jin Ling swallowed, his voice was deep and bold, and even though it held no warmth in it, Jin Ling felt it roll down his back and warm him up from the inside. He felt so moved, he could feel tears tease the corners of his eyes. 

Jin ZiXun couldn’t help but feel somewhat guilty. But, no matter what, his life was the most important, “ZiXuan, hide it from Sister-in-Law for now. I’ll give you two a formal apology after I get rid of these things on my body!”

The last time Wei WuXian saw Jin ZiXuan, he still had youthful pride on him. Now that he was married, he seemed a lot more mature. His voice was steady as well, although his face had darkened, “It is still possible to turn things around. All of you, stop for the time being.”

Jin ZiXun was both angry and impatient, “What is there to turn around now that things are already like this? Haven’t you seen these things on me?!”

He seemed as if he wanted to lift his shirt again to reveal his chest full of holes. Jin ZiXuan quickly stopped him, “There’s no need! I’ve heard about it from Jin GuangYao already!” 

Jin ZiXun replied rapidly, “Since you’ve heard it from him already, you should know that I can’t wait. Don’t tell me that you’ll disregard your brother’s life for the sake of Sister-in-Law’s shidi?!”

Jin ZiXuan’s eyes were hard as he returned, “You clearly know that I’m not that kind of person! He might not necessarily be the one who cursed you with Hundred Holes either. Why are you so rash? I was the one who invited Wei WuXian to A-Ling’s full-month celebration anyway. If this is the way you do things, where does that leave me? Where does it leave my wife?”

Jin ZiXun raised his voice, “It’s best if he doesn’t attend! What does Wei WuXian think he is—does he deserve to attend our sect’s banquet? Whoever touches him gets nothing but a splash of black! ZiXuan, when you invited him, weren’t you worried that you, Sister-in-Law and A-Ling would receive an irremovable stain for the rest of your lives?!”

Jin ZiXuan shouted, “Shut up right now!”

Deeply infuriated, Jin ZiXun clenched down. The wooden box that held the bell and its white tassel was clenched into dust at once!

 _NO?!_

Wei WuXian watched the object break to pieces with his own eyes. Pupils shrinking fast, he lunged at Jin ZiXun, _NO! HOW DARE YOU?!_ Jin Ling was immediately yanked from his shock as rage engulfed him, white hot anger roared through his veins. 

_THAT WAS FOR A-LING YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!! I’ll FUCKING KILL YOU!_ And that cold evil rose up in him, bubbling under the surface magnifying his anger. That rage trickled into his eyes turning them red with resentful energy. It was chaotic around his thoughts, pulling at the tight control Wei Ying had over it. It tugged and teased at its restraints encouraging Wei Ying to let it loose, seducing him to embrace its power and end this fight once and for all for what better way to deal with a dead man than to kill him all the sooner. 

Jin ZiXuan raised his hand and blocked the attack, shouting, “Wei WuXian! Have you had enough yet?!”

Wei WuXian’s chest heaved up and down, fury and negative energy was so thick in his throat, he thought he’d choke on it and he swallowed in vain trying to calm it back down. He had to get it under control. It was writhing in his hand, boiling under his skin. He was livid, he was so mad for a moment he considered unleashing it. Truly considered slaughtering everyone and everything but he willed that desire away, if he relaxed his hold for one second it would consume him and he knew it. And regardless he would not kill Jin ZiXuan.

Jin ZiXuan collected himself and he spoke, “Tell Wen Ning to stop first. Don’t let him continue his rampage and make the situation worse than it already is.”

Wei WuXian’s voice was coarse, rough with his anger and the resentful energy he was just barely keeping at bay, it was flickering around his heart urging him into bloodshed, “… Why don’t you make them stop first?”

Relentless shouts and roars came from all around them. Jin ZiXuan raged, “Why are you still so stubborn at such a time? When everyone calms down, you can follow me back to Koi Tower to explain things and answer some questions. With everything clear, if you aren’t the one who did it, of course you’ll be fine!”

Wei WuXian sneered, “tell him to stop? As soon as I tell Wen Ning to stop right now, the arrows would fly straight at my heart and I wouldn’t even die a whole corpse! And you think I could explain things at Koi Tower?”

Jin ZiXuan spoke immediately, “they would not!”

Wei WuXian laughed, “They would not? How can you ensure it? Jin ZiXuan, I have a question—when you invited me at first, did you really not know about their plan to kill me?!”

Jin Ling paled completely, all the blood draining from his face as he finally understood which memory this was. _Oh no….oh no! Oh fuck…._ Jin Ling felt cold dread pull his heart tight and he prayed and prayed with everything he had that he was wrong, prayed that he would not have to see his father die. But even as he prayed he felt the grief already collecting in his chest. There were only 2 profound events that had ever happened at Qiongqi Path and the first he had already seen. He gritted his teeth holding onto hope with his fingertips as he watched the scene, staring at his father, trying to drink in the vision of the man who meant so much to him. 

But Wei WuXian’s heart was burning with rage, with injustice, with hatred at being the villain once again. He did not cast that curse but it seemed like Jin ZiXuan may share his father’s feeling after all. 

_Oh no…..oh please no, don’t let this be that Qiongqi Path…..please no_ Jin Ling begged and begged in his heart, he almost couldn’t breathe around the resentful energy in his chest and he wished with everything he had that he wouldn’t have to see his father die. He didn’t care anymore how or why, he just did not want to see this and Wei WuXian’s thoughts fell over him again.

_Everyone wants the Tiger Seal and everyone wants me dead, what difference is it if Jin ZiXuan makes one more… ha…..bah I won’t kill him….even if he wants to kill me I won’t do that to shijie or little A-Ling anyway_

Jin Ling paused breathing out a huge sigh of relief, he felt almost weak and he thanked Wei WuXian with all his heart. He really did not know what he would have done if Wei Ying really did kill his father in front of him. 

Jin ZiXuan paused for a second before he raged, “You! Wei WuXian, are… are you mad?!”

Wei WuXian was suppressing a blazing flame of hatred. His voice was cold, “Jin ZiXuan, move away right now. I won’t touch you, but you’re not going to provoke me either.”

Seeing that he still refused to yield, Jin ZiXuan suddenly lunged forward, as if trying to hold him down, “Why can’t you just back off for once?! A-Li is still…”

Just as he reached toward Wei WuXian, he heard a strange, heavy noise. The noise was almost a bit too near. Jin ZiXuan paused in surprise. He looked down and finally saw the hand that pierced his chest.

Without anyone noticing, Wen Ning had already joined them. On half of his expressionless face was splattered with a few searing, glaring drops of blood.

Jin ZiXuan’s lips moved. His expression was somewhat blank. Yet, still, he managed to continue the sentence that he couldn’t finish:

“… is still waiting for you to go to Koi Tower and attend A-Ling’s full-month celebration…”

The same blankness was on Wei WuXian’s face and Jin Ling felt his heart die in his chest, a white noise filled their ears as Wei Ying stared, he was so shocked, he could not comprehend what he was looking at. What was happening? What…….what…….is…..

His eyes widened and his breath froze in his lungs and for a second, it almost felt like his heart stopped. 

_Why…...how……...how did things become like this in just a few seconds?_

_No.No.No.No.No.No.No….It shouldn’t be. It can’t be…..something must’ve gone wrong somewhere. This is not real……..this is….._

Wen Ning took out the hand that he used to pierce through Jin ZiXuan’s chest, leaving behind a gaping hole.

And Wei WuXian felt his mouth fall open in shock. There was an odd buzzing in his head as his eyes refused to accept what he was looking at. 

Jin ZiXuan’s face twitched in pain, as though he felt that the wound wasn’t anything big, that he could still stand up. Yet, his legs finally gave out as he kneeled on the ground.

Screams of fear sounded from all around him but neither he nor Jin Ling could hear them so frozen in time they were. It was as if their blood stopped moving, their heart stopped beating. 

“The… The Ghost General has gone mad!”

“He killed, he killed him. Wei WuXian made the Ghost General kill Jin ZiXuan!”

Jin ZiXun yelled, “Release! What are you waiting for?! Release the arrows!”

However, as he turned around, a black silhouette approached him with the stealth of the inhuman. He felt his throat tighten as a large, pale hand, lined with blue veins, clenched around his neck.

“Ahhhhhhh…!!!”

Wei WuXian stood helplessly where he was, unmoving, uncomprehending. 

_No. That wasn’t it. I was clearly controlling Wen Ning properly. I didn’t ask him to kill Jin ZiXuan, there was no way he killed him….he wasn’t dead….he wasn’t….I am completely in…….in……..control…..right? How was…..how…...what? Did he lose control? But how…..why………..what was….._

Jin Ling ripped himself away from Wei WuXian’s shell shock as he gazed down sadly, staring at his father and the gaping hole in his chest. He sniffed sharply as tears trickled down his cheeks and he cried. His shoulders folded forward as he cried great heaving sobs. He could not contain the grief in his heart and he wanted to hate Wei WuXian. He wanted to hate him so badly but he just….he just couldn’t find it in his heart to do so. Wei Ying was frozen in his looping thoughts as he questioned himself over and over and over again with a hoarse, desperate voice echoing in his head. 

_Didn’t you say you know what you should and shouldn’t do? Didn’t you say you could control it? Didn’t you say that there couldn’t possibly be a problem, that nothing could possibly ever happen?!!_

That white noise was thrumming in his ears, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t speak, he could do nothing staring at the light that slowly faded from Jin ZiXuan’s brown eyes.

Wei WuXian’s mind was in complete shambles and Jin Ling just cried. He cried for his father, he cried for his mother and he cried for Wei Ying who stood there in pieces as he stared at what he unleashed, stared at what he had done. 

~*~

Lan XiChen was pale as he continued to pour energy into the binding net determined to hold the Dream Eater down. It was writhing in its bonds, its sickening mouth opening and he grimaced. He huffed heavily, sweat dripping off his chin as he glanced around the array. 

They were all in the exact same positions they’d been in for hours now. Everyone was straining, their jaws clenched and their arms tight with tension as currents of spiritual energy whooshed down out of their fingertips to reinforce the trap. 

It was almost impossible to keep this up. The beast just kept growing stronger and stronger feeding off of the regrets in the air. XiChen glanced up again judging the moon and it was a profound relief to see the edge of twilight catch the sky turning it a few shades lighter.

“Look,” He called out and everyone turned their heads up sighing heavily in a mixture of relief and endurance, “it won’t be long now, maybe another hour at most.” Lan XiChen spoke reassuringly as he gazed across the net. 

They looked awful and he was sure he did too. Listening to Wei WuXian’s nightmares, hearing Jin Ling go through the same was devastating them. It didn’t matter that it was all in the past, it didn’t matter that they were just dreams, in this moment it felt so real and the cultivators could do nothing for them. 

They had tracked through the deepest corners of Wei WuXian’s heart, his regrets, his despair, his unending guilt and Jin Ling had no other choice but to accompany him leaving the rest of them at the mercy of the Dream Eater’s horrific mouth that spoke with the voices of the past, spoke their thoughts and shared their pain that no one had any right to know. They had no right at all to listen to them sob and cry and rage and panic, thoughts they hid in the privacy of their hearts should never have been put on display like this. 

And they had to destroy this demon, it had taken almost 500 lives just like this, tormenting its victims drowning them in their regrets and what’s worse, Wei Ying was injured and no one could go check on him or Jin Ling for that matter who lay collapsed next to him, Li Kang still bent over their prone forms. 

“Li Kang?” Jiang Cheng called out with a hoarse exhausted voice. His hands were trembling with effort and he forced more power down his arms into the array. 

“Yes Sect Leader?” He called back over from the far side of the clearing.

“How are they?”

“Wei WuXian is as stable as he can be, he lost a lot of blood. I cannot check on Jin Ling but I believe he is fine, Empathy will release its hold on him soon I hope.”

“We ha---” Jiang Cheng’s words cut off as Wei WuXian’s voice shouted through the clearing falling from the Dream Eater’s mouth yet again and they all closed their eyes in misery. No one wanted to hear anymore. Jin ZiXuan’s death had devastated Jin Ling and Wei WuXian and no one was prepared for more heartache. 

Wei WuXian roared, wild and chaotic, “Wen Ning! Who did you kill? Do you know who you killed?!”

“You could’ve killed anyone—why did you have to kill Jin ZiXuan?! With him dead, what is Shijie supposed to do?! What is Shijie’s son supposed to do?! What am I supposed to do?! What about me?!”

_“Why the hell have I been locking myself up on Burial Mound all these years? Why do I have to go through all this? Why did I choose to walk this path? Why did I make myself like this? What do others see me as? A beast, a villain, a monster? Just what have I gained? Have I gone mad? Have I gone mad? Have I gone mad?! If only I didn’t choose this path in the beginning. Damn it!”_

Suddenly, Wen Ning whisper fell on the cultivators’ ears, “… I’m… sorry, I’m sorry… I-It was all my fault… I’m sorry…”

_“Ha...ahahahaha who’s fault is this Wen Ning?! You are just a corpse….a weapon, a weapon I forged….it’s not your fault at all…..it’s mine…..I killed Jin ZiXuan…...I….did this…...so arrogant…..so stupid…...didn’t I say I could control it?! Didn’t I say everything was fine? Didn’t I say nothing could go wrong? Ha….aha...I am weak! I made a blade and didn’t know how to control it after all. Why did this have to happen?! Why? Why? What is shijie going to do now? What is A-Ling going to do now?!”_

Those echoing thoughts fell silent for a moment before it came again with such sorrow.

_“Oh Wen Ning…...how could I have done this to you? How could such a timid, stuttering person have been happy killing all those people under my orders? After he had taken shijie’s soup all the way from town to the tip of the mountain how could he possibly be feeling anywhere near fine having killed shijie’s husband with his own hands?”_

And the Dream Eater turned in the net, jerking and bucking when Wei WuXian suddenly broke into tears. His voice trembling and hoarse sounded so small and weak, submerged in a deep helplessness, “… Can someone tell me… what I’m supposed to do now?”

And the demon cried with Wei Ying’s voice, its terrifying mouth open for everyone to hear the gut wrenching sobs that filled the clearing trembling in the air with every heave of his heart. Jiang Cheng looked down at his hands with his own tears glittering along his lashes as he listened to his brother cry his heart out and he wished he could tear this monster’s head off, wished he could somehow change the past, wished something could be different, wished that Wei Ying didn’t have to suffer so much grief. It didn’t matter that these memories were almost 20 years old, all that mattered was Wei WuXian was devastated, broken into pieces and there was nothing he could do about it. 

Suddenly, Wen Qing’s voice came next swirling around them softly, “… I’m sorry.”

Wei WuXian asked hoarsely, “What? What are you doing? What the hell are you going to do? Wen Qing answer me?!” 

“When you woke up, we were in the middle of discussing it. I think we’ve come to a conclusion.”

Wei WuXian asked again with desperation threading its way through his voice, “Discussing what? Stop talking nonsense. Take the needle out—let me go!”

Wen Ning’s voice followed her’s out of the demon’s mouth, “Sister and I have come to a conclusion. We’ll be going to Koi Tower to give ourselves up.”

“Give yourselves up?” Wei WuXian was shocked, “How are you going to do that? Apologize? Surrender?”

Wen Qing spoke softly again, “Yes, more or less. In the days you were down, the LanlingJin Sect sent people to give a few words at Burial Mound.”

“Give a few words about what? Don’t talk one word at a time. Say it all at once! Finish your explanation!”

“The LanlingJin Sect wanted you to give them an answer. The answer would be to hand over the two leaders of the remaining Wen Sect members, especially the Ghost General.”

Wei WuXian snarled weakly, “I’m warning you two. Get this needle out of me right now!”

Wen Qing continued on, “The leaders of the remaining Wen Sect members—that’s us. According to them, if you hand us over, this incident would temporarily be considered over as well. Then, we might have you on the bed for a couple more days. The effects of the needle inside of you would cease in three days’ time. I’ve talked to Uncle Four about it already. He’ll watch over you and let you out if an emergency happens within the three days.”

Wei WuXian raged, “You can shut the fuck up! It’s already pandemonium the way things are right now! You two can stop adding more trouble onto my platter. Give yourselves up my ass. Did I tell you to do this? Take the needle out! Now!” 

“No Wei Ying, I won’t”

“Why are you going to Koi Tower? I wasn’t the one who cursed him with Hundred Holes at all…”

“But they have set their minds that it was you.”

“Then find the real person who set the curse! Jin ZiXun’s definitely gone to experts of cursing. The most common way to deal with these curses is to hit them back, let the effects rebound back to the one who placed the curse. Even if not all of the power could be rebounded, a large portion can. We can just look for someone who has the same curse marks on them!”

Wen Qing quietly rebuffed him, “there’s no use.”

“Why not?”

“There are so many people—where could we look for them? Set up a checkpoint on every street of every city and make everyone take off their clothes so that we can check?”

Wei WuXian protested, “Why not?”

“Who’d be willing to set up these checkpoints for you? And for how long do you intend to search? We could perhaps find them after eight or ten years, but would those people be willing to wait?”

Wei WuXian replied weakly as though he understood where Wen Qing was going, “But there are no rebounded curse marks on me!”

“During today’s incident, did they ask you?”

“No.”

Wen Qing continued patiently, her strong voice, soft and mellow, such a striking difference between that voice and the Dream Eater’s fangs that spoke her words, “That’s right. They didn’t ask. They straight-up prepared to kill you. Do you understand now? They don’t need any proof. They don’t need you to find the truth either. Whether or not you have curse marks on your body doesn’t matter at all. You’re the YiLing Patriarch, the King of the Demonic Path. You specialize in dark curses, so it wouldn’t even be strange if you didn’t have curse marks on you. On top of that, you didn’t have to do it yourself. You could’ve gotten Wen-dogs, your slaves, to do it for you. It’s you no matter what. You won’t be able to deny it.”

Wei WuXian cursed, “fucking hell Wen Qing….”

“And so, you see? There’s no use. With the way things are, the identity of the one who placed the curse of Hundred Holes is no longer important. What’s important is the fact that the hundreds of people at Qiongqi path and… Jin ZiXuan were indeed killed by A-Ning.”

“… But, but…… but even then, I should be the one going. I was the one who made the corpses kill people. Why would the knife go instead of the murderer?”

Wen Qing asked him quietly, “Isn’t it better this way?”

“Better as in what?!”

Wen Qing’s voice was calm, “Wei Ying, we both know. Wen Ning is a knife, a knife that scares them, but also a knife that they use as an excuse to attack you. If we go, without the knife, they’d no longer have an excuse. This entire thing might finally be over.”

He suddenly let out a meaningless roar that echoed around the clearing as the cultivators glanced up at the glow of the twilight in the sky praying and hoping for dawn to come faster to stop these horrible dreams. 

_“Ah Jiang Cheng, I finally understand you shidi of mine, this hero complex shit is utterly detestable, watching someone you care for take the responsibility onto their shoulders no matter what, insist on bearing all of the negative consequences, unable to be stopped at all. I hate this so much Wen Qing! I will not allow this!!”_

Wei WuXian’s thoughts turned to words as he spoke hotly, “do you two understand or not? By giving yourselves in at Koi Tower—what would happen to you two, especially Wen Ning? Aren’t you the one who loves this brother of yours the most?”

Wen Qing replied firmly, “Whatever happens to him would be what he deserves.”

_“No there’s no way. Wen Ning doesn’t deserve it at all. I am the one who deserves it. I am the murderer, I am the monster…”_

Wen Qing spoke again, “Anyhow, we should’ve been dead a long time ago. These days have been a stroke of luck for us, well……. I’ve said what I had to say, explained things, said farewell. Then, good-bye.”

Wei WuXian gasped out, “No…Wen Qing, No!”

Wen Qing interrupted him, “I’ve never really said such things to you before. But now that it’s today, there are indeed a few things I should say. I really won’t get a chance to say them after this.”

Wei WuXian whispered, “… Shut up… Let me go…”

And Wen Qing’s soft, quiet voice, full of emotion, drifted out over the cultivators in that clearing, just as the rays of dawn cut through the trees, “I’m sorry. And, thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T___T


	8. Chapter 8

Jin Ling sighed deeply. He was so drained, so worn out. Empathy was brutal, he felt weak and exhausted from the onslaught of Wei WuXian’s chaotic emotions, dream after dream after dream of despair and death and heartache and he really, truly, did not know how much more he could take. 

He watched the Wen siblings walk out of that cave with a heavy heart. He could not judge them, he could not hate them anymore, not Wei WuXian, and not Wen Ning, it was impossible. They had indeed caused the deaths of his parents but they did not do it willingly and Jin Ling didn’t even need to see his mother’s memory to know that. Wei Ying’s heart was so deep, hurt so much that it was inconceivable for him to judge him anymore. He was done, he was ready for this to end. He did not need to see anything else, nothing else would change his heart now. He was no longer cold and indifferent to Wei WuXian, rather he was moved by him. He was moved by the depth of his sacrifices, by the richness of his feelings and he really did want nothing more than to be done with these dreams so he could see the man himself. 

Contrary to his wishes though, the dream shimmered in that dim, dark cave and another scene fell over them. 

He blinked as the sounds of chaos erupted in his ears, people were screaming, blades were clashing, someone was playing a guqin. Resentful energy was roaring through him, great waves of black power cascaded up and down his veins, a tempest in his blood and Jin Ling gasped. It was completely out of control, the rage in Wei WuXian’s heart, that black hatred in his chest, was too much. It was spiralling barely held together by the hauntingly eerie notes of Chenqing

It was pandemonium. Jin Ling could feel evil in every corner of his body and mind. Wei WuXian pulled his flute from his mouth and turned around to see a person sitting on another of the ridges of the roof they stood on.

 _HanGuang-Jun?! What the hell is happening now? Where is this place?_ Jin Ling tried to look around but Wei WuXian spoke in a cold voice, “Lan Zhan.” After he greeted him, he again placed his flute to his lips, “You should’ve known since long ago—Sound of Lucidity is useless to me!”

Lan WangJi flipped the guqin onto his back. Instead, he pulled out Bichen and attacked straight at Chenqing. Wei WuXian spun around to dodge the attack and laughed, “Fine, fine. I knew since the start that we’d have to fight a real fight like this one sooner or later. You’ve always found me disagreeable no matter what. Come on!”

Hearing this, Lan WangJi’s movements paused, “Wei Ying!”

Jin Ling glanced at him worriedly at his trembling words. He wasn’t sure what dream this was but for HanGuang-Jun to look so desperate and panicked like that meant nothing good. He tried to understand what was going on but Wei Ying was already half-mad, half-unconscious. All evil was being augmented by him. He felt that everyone loathed him and he loathed everyone as well. He wouldn’t be scared no matter what. It wouldn’t matter no matter who came at him. It was all the same anyway.

Jin Ling gritted his teeth, there was nothing rational inside Wei Ying right now, he was nothing by a channeler, a conduit of resentful energy with nothing but hate and anger and evil in his heart. 

Jin Ling looked around over the flute at his lips and he stared at the ruins of the Palace of Sun and Flames he only recognized from his history books. Was this the Massacre of Nightless City? It could only be with the way cultivators battled and fought and charged through the night. Everywhere Jin Ling looked he could see corpses, fresh and old, some rotting with grey skin, others looking fresh and alive and when someone fell, they were immediately swallowed up and turned into another corpse and the killing continued.

On and on across the grounds of the ruins of the Wen Sect, Jin Ling could see the insanity, the bloodshed and the evil Wei WuXian played into being with his ghost flute. He despaired as he watched, understanding that in this moment, Wei Ying was the YiLing Laozu and there was no room in his heart for anything other than death and destruction. 

Suddenly, amid the battle noises, Wei WuXian heard a faint voice.

“A-Xian!”

Like a bucket of ice-cold water, the voice doused the vile flames raging within his heart. Wei Ying paled, blood draining from his face, _Shijie?!?!? Shit?! WHAT!?_

 _MOM!!_ Jin Ling turned his head fast with Wei Ying combing the battle grounds with desperation and panic. 

_Jiang YanLi? When did she come to the pledge conference?!_

Wei WuXian was immediately half dead with fright. He couldn’t care about the fight with Lan WangJi any longer and put down Chenqing, “Shijie?!”

Jin Ling was beside himself, he was almost vibrating in his skin with Wei Ying’s almost insurmountable panic.

_Why is she here? Where is she?! FUCK FUCK FUCK?!_

Jiang Cheng heard the voice as well, “Sis? Sis! Where are you? Where are you?” 

Jin Ling couldn’t even spare a thought for him as he stared through the masses of people, desperation seizing his heart. _She could not be here! People were dying here!_

Wei WuXian jumped down the ridge of the palace, shouting with just as much force as Jiang Cheng, “Shijie? Shijie? Where are you? I can’t see you!”

He couldn’t care less about the swords and arrows that came at him. With his bare hands, he fought his way through the frenzied crowd as he walked as fast as possible. Suddenly, he saw Jiang YanLi’s white figure sunken within the people. Wei WuXian went forth and tried to push away those who blocked his path, but it was difficult for him to move. There was still a large distance between them, formed by countless people. At the moment, it was impossible for Wei WuXian to rush over, and it was the same for Jiang Cheng. At this point, both of the two realized that behind Jiang YanLi’s back, a fierce corpse had stood shakily up.

Jin Ling stared at his mom amid the chaos but he could not enjoy this moment not with madness racing through his heart. He was desperately afraid for his mother, as Wei WuXian’s panic buffeted him from all sides. 

The corpse’s body was already half-rotten. It dragged a rusting sword in his hand as it slowly approached Jiang YanLi.

Watching the scene of terror unfold, Wei WuXian’s voice was harsh, “Get lost! Get lost right now! Don’t touch her!”

Jiang Cheng roared as well, “Make it go away!”

 _Focus Wei WuXian! FOCUS! You can control this!!!!_ Jin Ling urged him over and over but he could feel how chaotic the resentful energy was. Wei Ying had to use his entire mind, his strength of will to bend it to his control and now in the nightmare that was this night, he could not find the quiet of his mind, the quiet he needed to get these raging powers back under control. 

Jin Ling watched Jiang Cheng toss out Sandu and purple light flew toward the corpse, but in midway, the glare was obstructed by other cultivators’ swords, deviating from its original direction. The more Wei WuXian panicked, the less control he had. The corpse ignored his command and instead lifted the sword in its hand, slashing it down at Jiang YanLi!

Wei WuXian lost it, the threads of resentful energy slipping through his fingers. He dashed forward as he shouted, “Stop it, stop it, right now, stop it!”

He could not contain this, he could not control it, his heart was in shambles as he watched that corpse creep closer and closer to his sister. 

“Shijie!! NO! GET AWAY!” But for all his heartache, Jin Ling knew that there was nothing anyone could do. They could not reach her in time and he watched with a heavy, heavy heart as that corpse’s hand swung down and slashed open Jiang YanLi’s back.

 _Oh mom_ Jin Ling felt sadness in his heart but thankfully this dream did not give him much time to feel anything and he watched her tumble to the ground. He couldn’t even see her very clearly, people and blood and corpses everywhere.

Standing behind her back, the corpse raised its sword again. Suddenly, a sword glare sliced off half of its body!

Lan WangJi landed amid the plaza catching Bichen which he summoned back. Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng could finally hurry over. They couldn’t even manage to thank Lan WangJi. Jiang Cheng first picked up Jiang YanLi, while Lan WangJi stopped Wei WuXian.

Seizing his collar, he dragged Wei WuXian in front of him, his voice hard, “Wei Ying! Stop the corpses!”

At the moment, Wei WuXian couldn’t care about anything else. Reflected in his eyes wasn’t Lan WangJi’s face, much less the veins of blood within Lan WangJi’s eyes. He only wanted to see if Jiang YanLi was fine. With red eyes himself, he pushed him away and rushed to the ground. With the push, Lan WangJi staggered a bit, and gazed at him after he steadied himself. Before he could do anything else, he suddenly heard another scream of help in the distance. He suppressed whatever was in his eyes and went to provide assistance.

Jiang YanLi’s back was dyed in blood. Her eyes were closed, but fortunately she was still breathing. Trembling, Jiang Cheng took back the hand that he used to feel for her pulse, letting out a breath of relief. He threw a sudden punch toward Wei WuXian’s face, shouting, “What happened?! Didn’t you say you could control it?! Didn’t you say it’d be fine?!”

Wei WuXian sat collapsed on the ground, his face blank, “… I don’t know either.” He continued with a broken voice, “… I can’t control it, I just can’t control it…”

 _Oh Wei Ying….._ Jin Ling thought sadly, Wei WuXian was caught in a snare of despair, he had lost complete control over the evil energy he channeled and he simply could not find any moment of calm within his mind to pull this typhoon back.

Suddenly, Jiang YanLi moved. Holding her tightly, Jiang Cheng hurried, however incoherent, 

“Sister! It’s fine! It’s fine, how are you feeling? It’s not that bad, just a single gash, not that bad. I’ll take you down right now…”

Jin Ling looked quickly, catching her face for the very first time. She was a simple beauty, with fair features that were neither gorgeous nor breathtaking. Instead she was pretty with large yellow eyes and the longest lashes he had ever seen on a man or a woman. She was not in fact a flawless beauty, instead she was comely with some kind of warmth in her features that spoke of home, of flickering fireplaces and rich food despite the paleness that had come over her with her injuries. 

_Oh mom…._ Jin Ling considered her sadly. He did not need to know anything more about this dream to understand that she would die in this memory. He knew how much Wei Ying loved her and he knew too that her death must be one he regretted. It truly could not be any other way. He watched the scene with mellow sorrow knowing without a shadow of a doubt that this would be the last time he would ever see her. 

Jiang Cheng moved as if he was about to pick up Jiang YanLi when she spoke up, “… A-Xian.”

Wei WuXian felt shivers go down his spine, his heart suddenly pounding in his chest. He was so ashamed to face her after Jin ZiXuan’s death, so very ashamed he wanted to offer his life to her right then and there to do with what she willed. If she demanded his head, he would give it.

He spoke with shaky words, “Shijie, I… I’m here.”

Slowly, Jiang YanLi blinked her pale eyes and Wei WuXian felt fear rumble within him. It coiled around him and he felt dread well up in his stomach, twisting it into knots with something akin to panic. 

Jiang YanLi spoke weakly, “… A-Xian. Before… why did you run away so fast… I didn’t even get the chance to look at you, or say something to you…”

Hearing this, Wei WuXian’s heart beat even faster.

He still didn’t dare look fully at Jiang YanLi’s face. Right then, the face was the same as Jin ZiXuan’s back then, covered in dust and blood. He was even more scared to hear the words she was about to say.

Jiang YanLi spoke with a low, soft voice, “I’m… I’m here to tell you…”

_To tell me what? That it’s fine? That I don’t hate you? That everything is fine? That I don’t blame you for having killed Jin ZiXuan? It was impossible. She must resent me, she has to hate me….oh shijie what have I done to you….._

Jiang YanLi sighed, “A-Xian, you… you should stop first. Don’t, don’t…”

Wei WuXian hurried, “Yes, I’ll stop.”

He took up Chenqing placing it by his lips and began to play. He only managed to steady his mind with great effort. This time, the corpses finally stopped ignoring his commands. One after another, strange gurgles echoed in their throats as if they were complaining. Slowly, they bent down.

Jin Ling watched the scene with both interest and grief. He had no hope in his heart and he gazed upon his mother’s face with both love and melancholy. The only good thing he could say for these dreams was that he got to see her at least once in his life, this woman who meant so much to him, had always meant so much to him. He didn’t know much about her since Jiang Cheng had never really talked about his sister and he craved this moment even if it meant watching her die. He would etch the memory of her warm eyes and soft features into his heart forever more. 

Suddenly, Jiang YanLi’s eyes opened wide. Her hands conjured up an explosive current of strength from nowhere and pushed Wei WuXian hard!

Wei WuXian was thrown to the ground again by the force. The next time he looked up, he saw the gleaming blade of a sword pierce through her throat.

Wei Ying blinked repeatedly trying to understand what had just happened. He could not compute this scene, he could not fathom the image before him but the boy holding the sword was crying, eyes covered in tears, “You thief! This is for my brother!”

Sitting on the dirty ground, Wei WuXian stared with disbelief at Jiang YanLi, whose head had already dipped, blood trickling ceaselessly from her neck.

He was still waiting for her to speak, to give him his final judgement. 

_What…...wh…………….at……_ He was in complete shock. 

Jiang Cheng was at a loss as well, arms still wrapped around his sister’s body. He hadn’t completely realized what happened yet.

A moment later, finally, Wei WuXian let out a bitter scream. Black wrath collected in his heart, rage ran rampant through him from his toes to his fingertips. He was a madman in this moment and Jin Ling paled completely. He looked away from his dying mother to the boy who looked to be about his age.

The boy finally realized that he killed the wrong person. He pulled out the sword, along with a series of bloody spurts. With fright, he staggered back, mumbling, “… I-It wasn’t me, it wasn’t… I was going to kill Wei WuXian, I was going to avenge my brother… She was the one who threw herself over on her own!”

Wei WuXian shot toward him and clenched his neck. Another Sect Leader waved his sword, 

“Demon, let him go!”

But Wei WuXian was gone, there was nothing but bitter rage inside him now. His hatred knew no bounds, it was so, so powerful it erased everything from his mind, his sorrow, his shock all of it disappeared under the tidal wave of earth shattering wrath the likes of which Jin Ling had never felt before or since and there, under everyone’s eyes, Wei WuXian snapped the boy’s neck with his bare hand.

A white-haired sect leader raged, “You! Back then… you caused the deaths of Jiang FengMian and his wife, and now you caused the death of your shijie. You suffered from your own actions, and yet you dared vent your anger on another! Instead of turning around, you took yet another life. Wei WuXian, your crimes—shall never be forgiven!” 

Jin Ling heard him only vaguely since Wei WuXian could no longer hear anything anymore. He was vibrating with hatred, so much hatred. Out of everything he could have lost, everything he could have sacrificed, Jiang YanLi was the one thing he could not bear. He simply could not fathom her death and he yanked two objects from his sleeve almost as if possessed. His vision was wavering in front of him but his hands were firm 

And there before everyone’s eyes, he put them together. One half on top and the other below, the two objects snapped into one, letting out a resonating clang.

Wei WuXian placed it on his palm and raised it high into the air and suddenly a whirlwind of black energy shot out of it surrounding him with its buffeting gusts of grey evil laden clouds and Jin Ling had only one thought before the dream changed around him,

_It was the Stygian Tiger Seal…._

~*~

Jin Ling suddenly found himself in another battle, this one just as wild and chaotic as the previous one, cultivators were everywhere battling corpses and ghouls but the striking difference here was instead of the myriad of different sect robes, here there were just three, the golden robes of LanlingJin, the green and grey of QingheNie and the purple ones of YunmengJiang and Jin Ling’s eyes widened in shock.

 _What is YunmengJiang doing here?! Is Jiujiu here?! What is he doing? Is this the Siege of LuanZang Hill?!_ Jin Ling was vaguely alarmed as he looked around at the sea of cultivators fighting tooth and nail against all manner of evil creatures. He took a second to focus on the men and women before his gaze and he caught sight of his uncle looking proud and bold with Zidian sizzling in the air and he knew with immediate clarity as soon as he caught sight of his hard blue eyes that he was furious. 

He was so mad you could read it in every line of his shoulders and see it in the sparks that flew from his eyes and Jin Ling swallowed heavily. He considered Wei WuXian for a moment and he was even more alarmed. Wei Ying was empty, almost completely devoid of emotions.

He played Chenqing almost lazily letting his ghouls run amok with almost no control, no focus. He was hollow and the fire in his heart was so faint, Jin Ling almost couldn’t feel it and he swallowed heavily. Wei WuXian was unlike any other version he had felt throughout Empathy. 

He had no thoughts, no feelings or emotions, just emptiness as if he had truly given up and even when he caught sight of Jiang Cheng, he felt nothing, not fear, not betrayal, in fact he felt almost content to see him as if he had been waiting for him to come. He welcomed Jiang Cheng and his hatred as if it was all he hoped for and Jin Ling blinked a few times. 

_Is Wei Ying going to…..to just give up?!_ He thought equal parts alarmed, worried and shocked. He had never known Wei WuXian with the strength of will that he had to just give in like this, as if he truly had no more fight left in him. 

_Come on! Wei Ying! WAKE THE FUCK UP, THEY’RE GOING TO KILL YOU!?_ Jin Ling yelled in his heart but like before he was just as powerless here and he bit his lip with concern. 

But Wei WuXian was listless, weary and exhausted and hollow. There was nothing left inside him, nothing but Jiang YanLi’s pale, bloody face and Jin Ling paused as he realized with a sinking heart that Wei Ying was well and truly defeated. He was done, he had nothing left. The Wen siblings were dust, the Wen Sect remnants were already slaughtered, his brother was strong and proud with his sect and his sister lay dead. There was truly nothing else for him to do. In fact, it was time he paid for his sins and Chenqing trailed off with an eerie lilting song. 

Jin Ling turned rapidly as his line of sight scanned the cultivators to fall on Jiang Cheng again. He snapped his wrist and Zidian slashed through 3 corpses at once before he turned his piercing blue eyes on him and Wei WuXian pulled his flute from his mouth. 

Their eyes met for a moment amid the chaos and the sounds of battle faded in his ears, silence falling over them and for the space of one single breath they looked at each other through the carnage. 

Wei Ying tilted his head lightly, almost as if nodding at his shidi and he gave a short, soft sigh before he released his hold on all the resentful energy he had been holding. He let go then and there and Jin Ling turned white as a sheet, his brown eyes widening in horror as the ghouls turned towards him almost instinctively but Wei Ying didn’t notice them. 

He couldn’t see them and he didn’t care anymore. He was well and truly done and he stared into his brother’s blue eyes watching them widen in shock as Chenqing fell from his hand. And Jin Ling knew for the very first time that Jiang Cheng did not kill Wei Ying that day, Wei Ying had killed himself succumbing to his broken heart. 

Jin Ling had a brief moment of panic when a wave of resentful energy surged through him, around him and within him and he screamed as it ripped his breath right out of his lungs. The last thing he saw was Jiang Cheng’s pale blue eyes and his mouth opening to say something but just like when Jiang YanLi had died, her mouth opening too, he did not hear what they had to say as his resentful energy engulfed him, devouring him whole.

~*~

The next thing Jin Ling felt was pain, unimaginable pain, white hot across his shoulders. It was agony and his kneeling body jerked as he felt something snap across his back again.

Jin Ling blinked rapidly as he gritted his teeth against the onslaught and he heard a familiar voice call over his shoulder.

“… I’ve said long ago, that you… you unruly thing! Would bring trouble to the Jiang Sect, sooner or later!”

Then another lash across his back, and another and another, dozens of heavy strikes hit him over and over and Jin Ling shook his head reeling under the deja-vu.

_What the fuck?? Is this---_

_Fu...fuck…...Madam Yu…..damn it…...I can’t…...endure this…...fuck…...I have to endure this damn it or that LingJiao bitch will never let this end._

_FUCK!? The dreams are looping?! Is this the Fall of Lotus Pier again?! Oh no, hell no ok Jin Ling think, think, think! I am not going through all that again, there’s no fucking way. Ok fuck, this hurts, damn it grandma, shit ease up or something_ He griped as he wracked his mind. There had to be a way out of these dreams. What did that damn book say??

_Dreams, nightmares, yin energy…….yin energy, opposite of that is yang energy right? That book said theoretically yang energy should defeat it, ok Wei Ying! I know you’ve been through some shit but you have to have some good memories right?!_

_Shit ok, think Jin Ling….who does he care about the most, jiujiu and mom so, let’s go with jiujiu?_ Jin Ling reached deep inside himself brushing the barest edge of his spiritual energy and he almost jumped for joy when he realized he could feel it. He yanked it up tugging and pulling and it came slowly as if it was miles away but Jin Ling would not be denied. No way, he would not relive those dreams a second time. There was no way in heaven or hell he would survive it if he had to go through that again. 

He gathered his spiritual energy up inside him and considered the idea of his uncle. He wasn’t too sure if this would work seeing as how he was just a ghost in this form but he willed it to work anyway. He pulled himself into the quiet of his mind and focused. He conjured up the image of his uncle and he yanked his energy up and surprisingly he could feel his core glowing brighter. Which was odd since theoretically, a spirit in Empathy couldn’t interact with the host but regardless he didn’t spare a moment to think about it.

He considered everything that Jiang Cheng was, from his physical appearance with his broad shoulders and his blue eyes to his unwavering stubbornness and shy affections. He shoved the idea of Jiang Cheng forward hoping it would trigger something as he steadily ignored the world around them. He willed it to work and he waited on pins and needles but nothing happened. The dream continued around him unbroken. 

_Ok again!_ Jin Ling gathered up the tendrils of golden energy he could just barely feel inside of him and he focused as hard as he could on the idea of Jiang Cheng, Jiang Cheng as a Sect Leader, as Wei Ying’s shidi, as part of Wei WuXian’s family and again nothing happened. 

_Hmmmm…..ok so maybe I’m doing this wrong? Maybe mom will work better?_ He focused on the memory of the woman he’d only seen once and concentrated on her face before he paused. He didn’t want to trigger the vision of her death which seeing her face pale and bloody would probably do so he decided instead to limit the image. 

He pulled up her beautiful yellow eyes, so rich and bright like the sun, they were a different color than HanGuang-Jun’s. His had an edge of amber to them that turned them golden whereas YanLi’s were a pale yellow like the center of a flower, soft and mellow under her long, long lashes. Jin Ling had never seen lashes that long on anyone before. 

He could see her before him in his mind’s eye, her comely face, warm despite the chaos of that night, her fair features simple and yet for all its simplicity, she was beautiful for how open and comforting she seemed to be. She was not a breathtaking beauty but she didn’t have to be. Her voice had been caring despite everything, despite the loss of her husband she had called Wei WuXian’s name fondly and Jin Ling focused on that.

He stared into her eyes willing and urging and pushing with his spiritual energy and suddenly he was no longer seeing her in his mind rather he was looking down into those bright yellow eyes. He blinked at the oddness before he realized with a shock he was sitting in a tree?

He, Wei Ying was clinging to a tree with all four limbs wrapped around it, and he was absolutely exhausted from it. Jin Ling glanced down and for a second he was shocked twice. The arms and legs he had now were so small, that of a child of 6 or maybe 7 years old. 

_And shidi hates me, and and he said he’ll call the d...dddogs and Uncle Jiang will be so mad at me and and….and I’m never going to come down, nu uh….._

Jin Ling blinked at the childish voice in his head. _What in the world?_ He glanced down again when a soft voice called his name and he met the pale yellow eyes of a young girl of about 12 or 13 with those same long lashes; she was holding an elegant lotus shaped lantern in her small hand. 

_……...mom……?_

Wei Ying recognized that this was Jiang Cheng’s sister and he stayed quiet, hoping that she wouldn’t find him. Yet, Jiang YanLi still called, “Is it A-Ying? What are you doing up there?”

He continued to stay silent but Jin Ling was just amazed, never in his wildest dreams would he have ever expected to be able to see his mother not bleeding or dying. She was a petite girl in white sleeping robes with large yellow eyes. Jiang YanLi raised the lantern, “I saw you. You left your shoe under the tree.”

Wei Ying glanced down at his left foot before finally exclaiming, “My shoe!”

Jiang YanLi spoke with her soft sweet voice, “You can come down now. Let’s go back.”

The little boy mumbled “I… I’m not going down. There are dogs.”

Jiang YanLi’s voice was so warm and soothing as she called up to him, “A-Cheng was making things up. There are no dogs. You don’t have anything to sit on. Your arms will grow sore really soon, and you’ll fall down.”

No matter what she said, Wei Ying continued clinging to the tree, refusing to come down. Afraid that he’d hurt himself, Jiang YanLi put the lantern under the tree and extended her arms to catch him, too worried to leave. Thirty minutes later, Wei WuXian’s hands finally grew sore. He let go of the tree trunk and fell down. Jiang YanLi hurried to catch him, but Wei Ying still landed with a slam. Rolling on the ground a few times, he hugged his leg and wailed, “My leg is broken!”

Jiang YanLi comforted him, hugging him tight as she looked at his leg, “It’s not broken, A-Ying. It shouldn’t be fractured either. Does it hurt a lot? It’s fine. Don’t move. I’ll carry you back.”

But little Wei Ying was still thinking about the dogs, sobbing, “Are… Are the dogs there…”

 _He really is scared of dogs huh…...I wonder what happened to him_ Jin Ling wondered distractedly as he stared at the sweet, round face of his young mom. She was so pretty, well as pretty as a girl of 12 or 13 could be and Jin Ling decided that she had to be the prettiest girl and he didn’t care what anyone thought. 

Jiang YanLi promised again and again, “No. If dogs come, I’ll chase them away for you.” She picked up the shoe Wei Ying left under the tree, “Why did your shoe fall off? Does it not fit?”

He forced back the tears of pain, “No. They fit.”

Jin Ling blinked as he caught wind of the truth in this little boy’s heart. In reality, they didn’t fit. They were quite a few sizes too large. But this was the first pair of shoes that Jiang FengMian bought him and Wei Ying was too embarrassed to make him go out of his way to buy another pair, and so he said that they weren’t too big. Jiang YanLi helped him into his shoe and pressed the hollow tip, “It is a bit big. I’ll fix it for you when we get back.”

Hearing this, he felt somewhat uneasy, as if he did something wrong again. Living in other people’s homes, the worst that could happen was to make trouble for the hosts.

“Alright A-Ying don’t worry ok, I promise there are no dogs, let’s just get you back ok?” Jiang YanLi hefted the little boy on her back and began to walk, wobbling in her steps as she spoke, “A-Ying, no matter what A-Cheng said to you, don’t bother about him. He doesn’t have a good temper, so he’s always home playing with himself. Those puppies were his favorites. Dad sent them away, so he’s feeling upset. He’s actually really happy that somebody’s here to be with him. You ran out here and didn’t go back for a long time. I only came to find you only because he’s worried that something happened to you and went to wake me up.”

Jin Ling couldn’t wrap his mind around this even as little Wei Ying wrapped his arms around her neck holding on to her securely. And even though Jiang YanLi was so very young, Jin Ling felt his heart grow so full in his chest. He never thought he’d be able to touch his mom much less hold her like this and he felt a few tears prick up in the corners of his eyes. He sniffed a little, moved by the beauty of this scene, moved by being so close to the woman who meant so much to him. He tightened his arms around her just a little bit more snuggling into her sweet smelling hair. He would remember the fresh scent of lotus blossoms for the rest of his life.

Her frame was quite small, quite slender, and she didn’t have much strength either. She staggered now and then, having to stop to push Wei Ying’s thighs up so that he didn’t slide down. Yet, when Wei Ying was on her back, he felt incomparably secure, almost more secure than when he was sitting on Jiang FengMian’s arm and Jin Ling felt the same. He felt so safe and cared for and he really couldn’t stop a few tears that fell from lashes just as long as her’s. 

Suddenly, the night wind carried forth a series of sobs. Jiang YanLi quivered in fear, “What was that sound? Did you hear it?”

Wei WuXian pointed, “I heard it. It came from inside that pit!”

The two went to the pit and carefully looked inside. A small silhouette lay face-down at the bottom. As he lifted his head, they could see two streaks on his muddied face, washed off by his tears. He choked, “… Sister!”

 _Jiujiu!?_ Jin Ling smiled a watery smile as he gazed down fondly at his little uncle who must have been only 5 or 6 years old. 

Jiang YanLi sighed in relief, “A-Cheng, didn’t I tell you to get others and search for him together?”

Jiang Cheng only shook his head looking up at her with big red rimmed eyes. “A-jie….” he sniffled and Jin Ling felt his heart tug in his chest. 

Jiang YanLi stretched her arm out and pulled her younger brother out of the pit. She took out a handkerchief and put it against his bleeding forehead. Jiang Cheng seemed to be in low spirits. His black pupils snuck a glance at Wei Ying. Jiang YanLi asked him gently, “Is there something you didn’t tell A-Ying?”

Jiang Cheng pressed the handkerchief onto his forehead, his voice low, “… I’m sorry.”

Jiang YanLi caressed his chest softly speaking with her sweet, mellow voice, “Help A-Ying bring back the sheets and blanket later, okay?”

Jiang Cheng sniffed, “I brought them back already…”

Both of the two had injured their legs and couldn’t walk so Jiang YanLi could only carry one on her back and the other in her arms. Both Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng wrapped their little arms around her neck. She had to stop and take a breath after just a few steps, “Just what am I supposed to do with you two?”

Their eyes were still brimming with tears. Pitifully, they hugged her neck even tighter and Jin Ling just could not help hugging her too. He felt so loved, so protected with the little YanLi, he couldn’t even speak in this moment. He sniffled a little himself and he wrapped every second of this walk back around his heart. He would cherish this memory, cherish the feeling of hugging his mom in a way he never could outside of these broken dreams. 

At last, one step at a time, she finally managed to carry her two brothers back to Lotus Pier. In a hushed voice, she woke up the doctor and asked him to bandage Wei Ying’s and Jiang Cheng’s wounds. Afterward, she repeated ‘sorry’ and ‘thank you’ countless times before walking the doctor back. Looking at Wei Ying’s legs, Jiang Cheng’s face was full of nervousness.

Seeing how worried he seemed, he took the initiative, “Relax. I won’t tell Uncle Jiang. I only hurt myself because I suddenly wanted to climb a tree last night.”

Hearing this, Jiang Cheng sighed in relief. He swore, “You can relax as well. Anytime I see a dog, I’ll chase it away for you!”

Seeing how the two finally made up with each other, Jiang YanLi cheered, “That’s the spirit.” She smiled a big, sweet smile and Jin Ling burned it into his memories, she was so pretty, the prettiest and he loved her all the more. 

Having stayed up for almost half of the night, the two had grown hungry as well. And so, Jiang YanLi went to the kitchen and busied herself for a while, standing on tiptoe. She warmed up a bowl of lotus pork rib soup for each of them.

The aroma wrapped itself around Wei Ying’s heart, lingering, all the sweeter for the care and warmth that YanLi had for them. She was like a ray of sunshine so bright and so comforting. She smelled like home and happiness and Wei Ying and Jin Ling would never, ever forget this night or the beautiful big sister they would love for the rest of their lives. 

Jin Ling tasted the lotus pork rib soup his mom had made and it filled his belly with even more warmth and he decided right then and there with Wei Ying that this would be his favorite food and YanLi would be his favorite girl forever and ever. 

And with the rich taste of her soup in his mouth the dream shimmered around him and Jin Ling found himself in another memory. 

This time he looked around to a bright market full of fruit and vegetable sellers. He glanced down to see a basket on his arm and the sleeve of a robe far more threadbare than he had seen before. It was still black but it was so faded it looked almost grey around the edges. Jin Ling was just considering this when Wei Ying perked up in surprise noticing a familiar figure in the alley before them. 

_Jiang Cheng?!_

_Jiujiu?_

Wei WuXian’s gaze froze. He followed without making a sound. Behind the figure, the two arrived at a small yard. As soon as they went in, the doors of the yard were closed.

A cold voice came forth, “Get out.”

Jiang Cheng was standing behind them. He was the one who shut the door. The words were directed at Wen Ning.

 _Damn jiujiu….._ Jin Ling thought with a frown as Wen Ning jumped to comply, leaving quickly. But he couldn’t fault him honestly, he had no idea what Wen Ning had done for him, for them, and Jin Ling glanced passed him to see another person in the yard wearing a black cloak and a bamboo hat with gauze curtains hanging down its sides. 

Wei WuXian felt his throat swell as emotion lunged up through him making his nose tingle and Jin Ling gasped again when he realized just who it was standing in front of them. 

“… Shijie.”

Hearing the footsteps, the woman took off her hat. She took off her cloak as well. Under it were beautiful wedding robes of scarlet.

 _Oh!!_ Jin Ling paused in surprise trying to swallow around all the feelings welling up in Wei Ying’s chest. His heart was bursting with happiness and pride. _Shijie looks so beautiful…._

Jin Ling stared, he stared and stared and stared at her. She was so beautiful in her wedding robes, her hair done up with tasteful pins and her face painted elegantly. Her bright yellow eyes were lined with a touch of kohl and her lips were a bright red. 

Jiang YanLi wore the refined robes on her body and a bright blush on her cheeks, adding some color to her face. As Wei WuXian walked a few steps closer to her, he swallowed heavily a few times trying to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth. He filled his eyes with the vision that was his sister in her red robes.

“Shijie… you’re?”

Jiang Cheng snapped, but there was plenty of warmth in his voice, “What? You think she’s marrying you?”

Wei WuXian muttered quickly, “You can shut up.”

Jiang YanLi spread out her arms to show him before she turned in a spin showing off her robes and Jin Ling smiled with Wei WuXian. She was so happy she was glowing, her cheeks flushed slightly, “A-Xian, I’ll… be married soon. I came for you to see…”

Wei WuXian felt warmth at his eyes as he gazed at her, his heart was so full he felt a little teary eyed. She was so, so very beautiful and he was deeply touched that they had come to see him, had thought to include him too. 

He wouldn’t be able to be there the day Jiang YanLi got married, unable to see how his loved one would look in wedding robes and he swallowed again, his adam’s apple bobbing. 

A few moments later, Wei WuXian smiled, something soft and sweet in his gaze, “I know! I heard…”

Jiang Cheng quirked an eyebrow, “Who did you hear it from?”

Wei WuXian rolled his eyes quickly, “None of your business.”

Jiang YanLi spoke shyly, “But… I’m the only one who’s here. You won’t be able to see the groom.”

Wei WuXian pretended that he didn’t care, “It’s not like I want to look at some groom.”

He walked a few times around Jiang YanLi, praising, “It looks good!” _oh shijie you look so beautiful, like you’re glowing and I….I am so happy….so happy you’re marrying the love of your life. You deserve so much happiness shijie, all the happiness in the world!_

Jin Ling couldn’t contain himself, he simply could not stop tears from trailing down his cheeks so moved he was by seeing his mother looking so radiant, from feeling the endless emotions of happiness and warmth that flowed up from Wei Ying’s heart. He was so completely overwhelmed by this moment, both him and Wei WuXian. What a gift this memory was, what a special, beautiful dream and Jin Ling knew too he would never forget this. He would never forget how his mother looked and he would never forget how much love Wei Ying had for his shijie. 

Jiang Cheng spoke up, “Sis, I told you so. It really does look good.”

Jiang YanLi answered earnestly, “It doesn’t count if you two say so. I can’t take it seriously.”

Jiang Cheng sighed, “You don’t believe me and you don’t believe him. Is it that you’ll only believe it when a certain somebody says so?”

Hearing this, Jiang YanLi’s face grew even redder, all the way until her snowy white earlobes. She quickly switched the subject, “A-Xian… Give a courtesy name.”

Wei WuXian blinked at her pulling himself out of his feelings, “What courtesy name?”

Jiang Cheng followed simply, “The courtesy name of my unborn nephew.”

 _!!! What?!_ Jin Ling spoke in a rush looking around at the 3 of them. _A courtesy name for who? For me?!_

 _Hmmmm, a courtesy name for my nephew, well better make it a good one then_ He smiled lightly thinking for a while, “Sure. The next generation of the LanlingJin Sect is named Ru. How about Jin RuLan?”

_Jin RuLan….that’s…...my courtesy name???? I never knew I had one, jiujiu never told me….well I guess he couldn’t after everything that had happened and I probably would have hated it anyway had he told me…..but I…..I don’t hate it now…._

Jin Ling considered his own heart. After so many dreams, so many memories, he couldn’t hate Wei Ying anymore. In fact, he truly didn’t, he wasn’t sure how he felt but the reality was he found himself more fond of Wei WuXian than ever before. He was proud of him, moved by him and the one thing he could accept was now he did, at the very least, respect him and he found himself proud to consider this man as part of his family. And that thought hit him awkwardly but more than that Jin Ling just accepted it. Accepted the fact that he really was proud that Wei WuXian was part of this little family regardless of the chaos he had caused; his heart was pure and fierce and protective of his siblings and Jin Ling could no more deny his own sentiments. 

Jiang YanLi spoke up with her bright, bubbly voice, “That’s great!”

Jiang Cheng cut her enthusiasm short, “No. It sounds like Jin RuLan, Lan being the Lan from the Lan Sect. Why should a descendant of the LanlingJin Sect and the YunmengJiang Sect be like someone of the Lan Sect?”

Wei WuXian countered him, “It’s not like there’s anything wrong with the Lan Sect, is there? The Lan flower is the gentleman of flowers; the Lan Sect is the gentlemen of people. A good name.”

Jiang Cheng arched his eyebrow, “That’s not what you said in the past.”

Wei WuXian frowned at him for a second, “I’m the one who’s giving the name, not you. Why are you being so picky?”

Jiang YanLi hurried, slipping into their bickering. “That’s enough. You know how A-Cheng is. He’s the one who came up with the idea of having you give the courtesy name. Both of you can stop fooling around. I brought soup for you two. Wait a second.”

 _Jiujiu did that? How…..sweet of him…_ Jin Ling thought fondly as he considered the three of them again. They were tight and close with each other just like family should be and Jin Ling felt his heart grow even softer, if that was even possible. He felt so happy in this memory, it was as if he was floating and he glanced after his mother’s beautiful form as she went inside the house to take out the jar. 

Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng glanced at each other. A moment later, Jiang YanLi came out and gave them each a bowl. Then, she went inside again and brought out a third bowl, walked to the door, and turned to Wen Ning, “I’m sorry. There are only small bowls left. You can have this.”

Wen Ning had originally been guarding the door looking at the ground. Seeing this, he was so flattered that he started stammering again, “Ah… Th-There’s some for me?”

Jiang Cheng wasn’t pleased, “Why does he get some too?”

Jiang YanLi countered him smoothly, completely at ease with her brother’s cranky disposition, “I brought too much anyways. Anyone who sees it gets some.”

Wen Ning replied hesitantly, “Thank you, Maiden Jiang… Thank you.”

Cupping the small, filled up bowl in his hands, he was too embarrassed to say anything else, or tell her that he couldn’t drink it. It was a waste to give him some. Dead people didn’t eat. Jin Ling knew this but he was touched anyway at how reverently Wen Ning held that little bowl of soup. Jiang YanLi, however, noticed his awkwardness. She asked him a couple of things and began to chat with Wen Ning outside. Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng stood in the yard.

Jiang Cheng raised up his bowl, “To the YiLing Patriarch.”

Hearing this, Wei WuXian remembered the proudly fluttering banner again. All that was in his head was the ten golden words ‘all hail the supreme Lord of Evil Patriarch of YiLing’, “Shut up!”

After he drank a mouthful, Jiang Cheng spoke, “How’s your wound from last time?”

“It healed a long time ago,” Wei WuXian took a sip and the warm, rich broth filled his mouth again and he almost sighed in happiness. Shijie’s soup was really, truly the best and Jin Ling agreed. He stared out of the corner of Wei Ying’s eyes watching his mother laugh and smile as she talked to Wen Ning and he tucked this memory deep into his heart. He would willingly relive whatever awful regrets Wei WuXian had for this precious moment. This sweet, fond memory with his family would become one the most treasured of things he had ever been given and he felt more of that odd fondness growing inside him towards Wei WuXian who had given him this gift. 

Jiang Cheng took another sip of his soup “Mn.” With a pause, he continued, “How many days?”

Wei WuXian glanced at him eating a slice of pork, “Less than seven. I told you before. With Wen Qing, it was nothing difficult. But you really did fucking stab me right through the stomach, ugh.”

Jiang Cheng ate a piece of lotus root, “You were the one who smashed my arm first. You took seven days, while I had to hang my arm up for an entire month.”

Wei WuXian grinned, “how could it seem realistic if it wasn’t hard enough? It was your left hand anyways. It didn’t hinder you from writing. It takes a hundred days to heal a wound to the bone. It wouldn’t be too much even if you hung it up for three months.”

Wen Ning’s stuttering answers swept in from outside. After a while of silence, Jiang Cheng asked, “You’ll stay like this from now on? Got any plans?”

Wei WuXian glanced down for a second, “Not at the moment. None of the group dares go down the mountain. People don’t dare do anything to me when I go down the mountain either. It’ll be fine as long as I don’t stir up trouble on my own.”

_And I won’t, I’ll just live like this from now on, it’s worth it, this life is more than worth it to see my shidi proud and happy, to see shijie so beautiful and happy too. I will live this lonely life with pride…_

Jin Ling smiled with melancholy, what a life of sacrifice Wei WuXian had lived, what a hard, selfless life to give so much for those he cared for. He was fierce and ferocious with his need to see his family happy and no one but Jin Ling knew just how much that cost him, how much he suffered from the cold resentful energy that curled through his blood, from the loneliness of the life he had chosen in the hopes that his little family could be at peace, could be happy because of the sacrifices he had made and Jin Ling’s heart swelled even more in his chest. Wei Ying was a man with a vast heart, a deep, endless heart and he was deeply fond of him, perhaps with time he would come to love him too for how could he not with so much love he had for the people Jin Ling cared about most.

“On your own?” Jiang Cheng sneered, “Wei WuXian, do you believe that even if you don’t stir up trouble on your own, trouble won’t come and find you? It’s often impossible to save someone, but there are more than thousands of ways to harm someone.”

Wei WuXian replied as he ate, “A man with strength can defeat ten with skill. I don’t care if they have thousands of ways. I’ll kill whoever comes.”

Jiang Cheng spoke in a cool voice, “You never listen to any of my opinions. One day, you’ll come to understand that I’m the one who’s right.”

He drank the leftover soup in one gulp and stood up, “Wow. I’m impressed. Round of applause for the YiLing Patriarch.”

Wei WuXian spat out a bone, “Are you done yet?”

Before they parted, Jiang Cheng spoke, “We won’t see you off. It wouldn’t be good if someone saw us.”

Wei WuXian nodded. He understood that it wasn’t easy for the Jiang siblings to have come out here. If someone else saw them, all those things they did for the public to believe in their falling out would be wasted. He spoke, “We’ll go first.”

After they went out the alley, Wei WuXian was still walking in front and Wen Ning was still following in silence. Suddenly, Wei WuXian turned around, “Why are you still holding the soup?”

“Huh?” Wen Ning answered in reluctance, “To take it back… I can’t drink it, but I can give it to someone else…”

“…” Wei WuXian eyed him for a moment before speaking, “Your choice. Be careful not to spill it.”

He turned around, knowing that it’d be a long time before he’d get to see the people he was familiar with again. He glanced down the street they had used and his heart was filled with melancholy but more so was his happiness. He was so happy he had gotten to see his siblings, so very happy he saw shijie looking so beautiful and he smiled a soft, soft smile turning his head away again. 

Every sacrifice he had made was worth it, everything he had ever done was worth this moment, worth shijie’s happiness, worth the begrudging warmth in Jiang Cheng’s voice. He loved them so much, so, so much he would do anything for them and Jin Ling blinked as he noticed something odd in the corner of the scene in front of him. It looked like a crack and it was followed by another and another. This weird spider web of cracks covered his vision and Jin Ling realized with a snap the dream was breaking.


	9. Chapter 9

_Yes!_ He filled his heart with Wei WuXian’s happiness and the cracks grew wider and wider until the entire scene went dark and Jin Ling felt his eyes pop open. He blinked several times as a plain white ceiling came into view, a white edged with light blue trim and he recognized the simple yet elegant colors of the Lan Sect. He blinked again turning his head slightly, a little disoriented for a moment and he caught sight of the rest of the room. 

SiZhui was sitting by his bedside reading a scroll, and just passed him was another bed. He noticed HanGuang-Jun sitting there foggily before he realized with a bolt of adrenaline just who it was laying in that other bed.

He shot up in a rush and lunged across the space between them. He scrambled up onto the bed kneeling over the prone body of Wei WuXian. He couldn’t even hear the startled gasps from everyone else as everything narrowed down to Wei Ying’s closed eyes.

He reached out trembling hands to his cheeks, cupping them lightly, his thumbs caressing his pale face. He had no idea what he was doing, none at all. All he could comprehend was seeing those dark grey eyes again, seeing him awake once more. They had been through some of the most traumatic events of his entire life and Jin Ling just wanted to see him, to look into his eyes once more. 

Wei WuXian sighed, a deep, soft sigh and his lashes trembled for a moment before they opened slowly. Wei Ying gazed up at the boy above him foggily, his eyes bleary and he blinked again. After a few more he focused on those big brown eyes staring at him and he swallowed dryly. He couldn’t hear anything around him, couldn’t see anything other than Jin Ling’s dark brown eyes that turned amber in the light of the late afternoon. 

They stared at each other for the space of a breath and then another and another, neither one had any words to say and Jin Ling realized that Wei WuXian knew what had happened. He knew Jin Ling had entered Empathy with him and he swallowed again. 

His eyes turned from mild surprise to something heavy and haunting that pulled the grey in his gaze out turning them dark and Wei Ying pulled his eyes from Jin Ling’s looking down with shame and despair. 

Jin Ling looked at him for a moment before he tugged his face up to meet those eyes again. He leaned forward pressing their foreheads together and he whispered, his voice hoarse and dry, “Wei Ying…..I…...I am sorry….”

Jin Ling spoke softly, his heart in his voice and he truly was sorry. He was sorry Wei Ying had to relive that, sorry he had lost so much, sorry he had suffered so much and all he could say was those few words with his raw, trembling voice. 

Wei WuXian looked up into his eyes with a maelstrom of heavy emotions in his gaze, he said nothing, he didn’t really know what to say as they stared at each other, a nameless, heavy weight between them. What could he say, Jin Ling had seen every single sordid thing he did, every sin he committed, every tragedy he had caused and now the nephew he loved was looking at him with sorrow in his eyes. 

Wei WuXian sniffed lightly, tiny tears collecting on his lashes. His big grey eyes staring at Jin Ling who stared back at him. And those tears fell dropping onto Jin Ling’s broad hands that still cupped his cheeks and he spoke just as brokenly, with just as hoarse of a voice, “No Jin Ling, I am the one who is sorry.”

“No…..I know your heart Wei Ying, don’t…..don’t hurt anymore, ok?”

“Oh….” Wei WuXian mumbled a little unsteadily, he felt so open, exposed and vulnerable in that moment and another tear fell from his dark eyes. 

“Look…..m……..mom would…..mom would want you to smile you know….you…..you’ve done enough” Jin Ling whispered again, his thumbs caressing those wet cheeks lightly.

“...........but I----”

“Hush Wei Ying…..” Jin Ling muttered and he moved his hands to wrap them around Wei WuXian’s shoulders lifting him up and holding him tight to the front of his body, hoping to express his heart without words. 

Wei Ying hugged him back tentatively, laying his hands on Jin Ling broad back and he really could not help his tears. How was it possible that someone could live all that with him and not hate him? How could Jin Ling watch his father die, his mother die by his hands and still sit here holding him like he meant something, like he had some kind of value when all he’s ever done was hurt others.

Jin Ling held him tightly remembering that dream where he had hugged his mother just as firmly and he smiled despite himself. He turned his head to Wei Ying’s ear and spoke again with his soft, trembling voice. 

“Thank you…..Wei Ying…..really…..” 

Wei WuXian’s hands curled into Jin Ling’s golden robes holding tightly to the boy who had such an open heart and he cried some more. 

Around them the rest of the cultivators watched with emotion in their eyes. They had heard enough from the Dream Eater’s terrible mouth to understand just how much these two had gone through and they watched the pair with soft hearts understanding just how deep of a moment this was for them. And though Lan Zhan, SiZhui and Jiang Cheng ached to hug them too, they would not disturb this moment.

Jin Ling sat there hugging Wei Ying for a while before realization hit him like lightning and he jumped back with a fierce blush on his cheeks. He shifted on his feet, his face burning bright red. 

“B….bbbut y...you’re still annoying ok so don’t think I suddenly like you or anything…..hmph” He turned his nose crossing his arms over his chest and Wei WuXian laughed, a tired, watery sound and he sniffed a little dragging his fist under his nose. 

He looked fondly at Jin Ling and laughed again.

~*~

“Wei Yin---” Lan Zhan spoke from the other side of the dividing screen watching Wei Ying’s shadow through the rice paper with concern. 

“NO! Lan Zhan you can’t look ok!?” 

They were in the jingshi again and it was a few months after that horrible night-hunt. Everyone had gone back to their sects exhausted and worn out from the intensity of the emotions they had weathered and though they all knew what had happened no one saw the need to bring it back up even if they did look at Wei Ying with warmer eyes than before. 

The wound in his stomach had taken almost 3 weeks to close and he was still mending even with the rare medicinal plants the Cloud Recesses had and as such he was forbidden from sword practice. 

He pouted for a few days and Lan Zhan had smiled at his wrinkly nose but really, the healers had done all they could, now Wei Ying had to let his core take over and finish the process. He had been listless for a few days until Jin Ling had sent him a letter. It was short and concise.

_Dear Wei Ying,_

_You don’t have to if you don’t want to but my birthday is next month and if you want to come, you can. It’s not my coming of age or anything special but jiujiu is coming and I thought you and HanGuang-Jun might want to come too._

_Sincerely,_  
_Jin Ling_

And for the rest of that month, Wei WuXian had holed himself up on the other side of the dividing screen ignoring everyone and everything else as he messed around with whatever he was doing and it was driving Lan Zhan crazy. Even their everyday means everyday was suffering for it since Wei Ying worked late into the night long after Lan Zhan had fallen asleep and he would be asleep when Lan Zhan awoke in the morning and whenever HanGuang-Jun stopped by to see him, Wei WuXian would be behind the dividing screen again and Lan WangJi had had enough. It had been 3 weeks and 6 days since he had last properly loved his husband and he found himself in a rare moment of annoyance. 

“Wei Ying---” He tried again but his husband interrupted him quickly, “Lan Zhan look I’m working on something and it’s special ok? Just be patient, Jin Ling’s birthday is in 2 days and after that I promise to spend time with you!”

“Bu---”

“Please Lan Zhan, Er-gege I promise I’ll show it to you when it’s done but I’m running out of time so I have to focus ok, please….”

“Mn….” Lan Zhan turned to go, his annoyance prickling under his skin but he was happy. He was happy Jin Ling had been so open and sweet to Wei Ying. When he had startled them all lunged up out of his bed, Lan Zhan had felt his heart stutter in his chest. He wasn’t sure how the young head of Lanling would take those dreams since he must have had to watch his parents die but the young man had surprised them all with his vibrant feelings and his words had touched Wei Ying on such a deep level not even Lan Zhan had been able to make himself interrupt them. 

And here they were weeks later and despite everything, Lan WangJi was incredibly touched by Jin Ling’s invitation. He had heard that dream too where Wei Ying had been so happy and excited for Jin Ling’s ceremony so many years ago and to invite him to his birthday after everything had lit a fire in Wei Ying’s heart and Lan Zhan was happy to see that too. 

So many wonderful things had happened this year, so many heartaches had been laid to rest, Jiang Cheng had mended their relationship, Jin Ling had opened his heart to Wei Ying and even Wei Ying’s nightmares had tapered off. It had been several weeks since the last one and Lan Zhan could hope for nothing else. He hoped deep in his heart that maybe this reconciliation would put all the pain and suffering Wei WuXian had weathered to rest for good and wouldn’t that be amazing. 

~*~

Two days later, Wei WuXian found himself dressed in his best walking up the wide stone steps of the Lanling Palace with HanGuang-Jun, ZeWu-Jun, Lan SiZhui and Lan JingYi at his side, his gift tucked safely in his sleeve and his heart thumping in his chest. The last time he had been here, Jin Ling had stabbed him straight through his stomach. 

But this time, he was hopeful, his heart so full as they walked passed the guards who stared at them with mixed gazes. Some people looked at him with judgement and others with shock but Wei Ying just brushed it off. He didn’t care what they thought, it didn’t really matter. Jin Ling had invited him and he was so very happy just to see him again. 

After the Dream Eater, he had expected nothing but hate from the boy he had once called his nephew. He expected it and thought he deserved it but instead of hate, Jin Ling had hugged him so tightly and that had been balm for his soul. How could Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling still care for him after everything he’s done? How could they look upon him with clear eyes and what’s more how could they even bear to forgive him? He couldn’t even really forgive himself but it seemed like the people he loved did indeed have a place for him in their hearts. 

The five of them walked into the large ceremonial hall done up with bright banners and large bouquets of flowers. There were people everywhere dressed in their best and at the head of the room Jin Ling sat on the dais as befitted the head of LanlingJin. He glanced at them with a smile standing up but a large group of well wishers stepped forward offering their simpering praises. Jin Ling was the head of one of the four great sects now and for the rest of the afternoon and well into the night he was trapped by his duties unable to so much as greet the people he really wanted to see.

~*~

Wei Ying leaned against a little balcony outside the loud, bustling hall. He had left leaving Lan Zhan and ZeWu-Jun behind to entertain the Lanling elders and sought the peace and quiet of the night air. He had never given much care to the thoughts of others but it had been a long, long time since he had faced so much judgement and he didn’t have it in his heart to ignore them like he had done once upon a time. 

In this new life, he was tender hearted and he really didn’t want to pull the mood down with his presence. People still feared the YiLing Laozu and though he wasn’t that anymore, gossip had spread far and wide and most of the people in the grand hall had stared at him with hard eyes and judgement on their tongues and after so many hours Wei WuXian was tired of it. He just wanted to greet Jin Ling then go. He really didn’t care for his reputation but like it or not, he had earned it. 

He gazed out at the beautiful white stone buildings that spread out from Koi Tower as far as the eye could see enjoying the cold fall wind. It was almost winter and he tugged his cloak around him a little more firmly. The black fur of his collar soft against his cheek. He hadn’t even bothered to make himself comfortable nor sampled any of the rich delicacies spread out on the long tables. 

Everywhere he turned people stared at him and after so much life he had lived, he was tired of it. He lifted his head to the stars looking at them lazily when he heard someone walk out onto the balcony with him. 

“Hey….” He turned to the voice with surprise, his heart suddenly thumping as Jin Ling walked over, laying his forearms on the balcony next to him.

“H….hey” Wei Ying cleared his throat a little awkwardly as Jin Ling settled in close to him. They glanced at each other for a moment before looking away both unsure of their words. What did you say to someone after an Empathy like that? What could you say? 

Jin Ling frowned lightly as he glanced at Wei Ying again but he was looking away and silence stretched between them. He wasn’t used to a quiet Wei WuXian but he accepted it nonetheless. He had long stopped assuming anything about this man who’s heart had overwhelmed him. Wei Ying had changed in his mind, the man had gained dimension and depth and Jin Ling found himself feeling awkward in his presence. 

He wasn’t too sure how to handle this new Wei Ying but it didn’t stop him from trying and he pulled his voice up with effort.

“So…...did you have a good trip?” _Stupid but it’s better than nothing, I guess…._ Jin Ling glanced at him again and Wei Ying turned to meet his eyes. They were bright, Jin Ling’s interest open for him to see. 

“Ah….yea we did….” He trailed off letting silence fall around them again. He looked away and bit his lip for a moment before he seemed to make some sort of decision. He stood up straight turning to face Jin Ling with something bold in his eyes. 

“Jin Ling…...look…..uhm….th….thank you for the invitation……..it…...it meant a lot…..to…..to me…” Wei Ying spoke slowly as he looked away his hands twisting together nervously and he spoke again quickly pulling something from his sleeve. 

“Here…..it’s….it’s nothing amazing but yeah…..happy birthday….” Wei Ying held out a small sandalwood box looking away shyly. Jin Ling took it, his hand tracing the neat letters of his name and his birthday on the smooth wood. He glanced up remembering the dream where he had seen a box just like this one but Wei Ying was still looking away from him so he swallowed a little dryly lifting the lid before he paused. 

He stared for a moment at a small beautiful jade pendant off of which hung a light purple tassel. It was carved into the shape of a strikingly vivid nine-petal lotus in lavender stone. It was a color he had never seen before in jade and he glanced up again surprised before he pulled it from the bed of satin it lay in and he did gasp as it almost seemed to vibrate in his hand with strong yang energy. 

“It….it’s to ward off evil and it’s kind of…...kind of powerful so you know like Wen Ning can’t touch it or anything. It’s good for night-hunts and low level demons and---”

Jin Ling jumped forward throwing his arms around Wei WuXian and he spoke with emotion remembering just how Wei Ying had felt all those years ago crafting one just like this for him. 

“Thank you…...jiujiu…...I love it….” 

Wei Ying trembled for a moment against him before he wrapped his arms around Jin Ling as well. He was so choked up, tears prickled his eyes and his nose tingled. His breath hitched and he leaned into Jin Ling. 

He whispered so softly against his ear, “I….I’m sorry you had to see the dreams…..”

“No jiujiu, I know your heart you know…..it’s….it really is all in the past now and…..and...….thank you for coming….”

And the stars glittered brightly overhead bathing the two in a soft silvery glow as they found comfort in each other, comfort in knowing they were family and Jin Ling was at peace. He found himself remarkably content to be here in this moment and he was proud, he was proud to say this man was family, this man with so vast a heart and he found space in his own heart for him.

-Fin-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooo hooray! Jin Ling loves Wei Ying too lol <3 thank you so much for reading this angsty story as Jin Ling followed the threads of Wei Ying's heart and through it found a way to love Wei Ying just as much as everyone else does. This bring our series to an end and I hope everyone enjoyed reading all our favorite characters find the closure they so desperately needed. After the novel I had a lot of holes in my heart and I wrote this series to heal and allow these amazing characters to heal too. Thank you so very much for everyone who stuck it out with me and for all of your wonderful comments. I love reading them. We have one more chapter, the epilogue where we get to some cough* sexy times* cuz no story of mine is complete without a scene or 2 :P thx again guys and I have a twitter is anyone wants to come geek out with me about YOI or MDZS https://twitter.com/brieeze01 <3


	10. Chapter 10

**One month later**

“How was your flight?” Wei Ying asked amicably as he met Jin Ling at the west gate of Gusu in the early evening. The dying sunlight sending shadows across the beautiful white entrance arch curving overhead as Jin Ling sheathed his sword. It hung at his waist under the thick folds of his cloak. 

“Good, got some rain though” Jin Ling tugged the fur collar of his heavy ivory colored cloak closer around his shoulders. His breath blooming in front of him in foggy puffs. Wei Ying was similarly dressed in a long black one with grey trim and they turned walking up the worn stone steps into GusuLan. 

“Hows LanglingJin?” Wei Ying spoke up as they headed into the heart of the sect, the great green trees of Gusu were bare and covered in frost, the long branches holding piles of fresh snow. 

The winter had come with force dropping the temperatures and turning the sky different shades of grey. Even Yunmeng, known for its hot climate had, amazingly, had its first snowfall in a decade.

“Good, the elders are behaving for once, I think the talking to ZeWu-Jun and jiujiu gave them a while back took effect. I have them teaching the juniors and seniors now and I take an hour of lessons with them in the mornings though I still do most of my studies with shifu. He’s a cranky old man but honestly, he knows his stuff.” Jin Ling replied as they followed the bend in the path towards the senior living quarters. 

“He definitely does,” Wei Ying nodded back as they walked towards the jingshi. The wooden steps were edged with fresh snow. 

“Does he still hate you?” Jin Ling glanced over watching a grin take Wei Ying’s clever mouth.

“Kind of but ZeWu-Jun carved a permanent silencing talisman into the jingshi so no one has to hear us anymore and I think that worked wonders on old Lan QiRen” 

“Haha,” Jin Ling laughed out loud at that, “that’s good”

Jin Ling and Wei Ying had mended their relationship after the fiasco with the Dream Eater and when Jin Ling had time he visited the Cloud Recesses often to see him and his friends. This time was even better because Jiang Cheng and Lan XiChen were here too and Wei Ying had invited all of them over for a family dinner courtesy of Lan WangJi since no one but Jiang Cheng would dare eat the spicy hot dishes Wei WuXian cooked up. 

SiZhui and JingYi should have finished their lessons for the day and Jin Ling was looking forward to seeing them and the rest of his family. 

“You want to come in for some tea,” Wei Ying asked warmly walking up the door of the jingshi, “it’s way too cold,” but Jin Ling shook his head. 

“I want to meet up with SiZhui, I haven’t seen him in ages”

“Hmm, I’m not sure where he is right now. Lan Zhan is teaching the afternoon classes and I know the senior disciples are off for the afternoon. ZeWu-Jun gave them a break from sword practice since it’s freezing now. Even the cold spring froze up.”

“Maybe ZeWu-Jun knows where he is?” Jin Ling asked curiously as he shifted his cloak tighter around him. It really was bone achingly cold and it was only the beginning of winter. 

“Let’s go find out,” Wei Ying smiled, hopping down the steps again as they headed towards the hanshi. 

“I believe Jiang Cheng is with him too, he arrived this morning,” Wei WuXian and Jin Ling walked further down the path. The hanshi was fairly close to the jingshi and soon enough they came upon the simple yet elegant home of Lan XiChen. He would step down as Sect Leader at the end of winter but he would always have a home here and both Jin Ling and Wei Ying were happy for him and Jiang Cheng both. 

They made a handsome pair and their tenderness towards each other was beautiful to see. Wei Ying and Jin Ling had a silly bet going on about when the wedding would be, Wei Ying thought the spring but Jin Ling knew his uncle better and thought it’d be in the fall. SiZhui had surprised them both and bet the summertime.

They walked up the steps when suddenly they heard a long, deep moan and Wei Ying glanced over at Jin Ling in alarm. Wei Ying’s eyebrows furrowed as the sound tapered off. This was the home of 2 people he cared for dearly and he worriedly hopped back down following the sound hoping no one was hurt. 

Jin Ling followed right on his heels, a concerned frown tugging his lips down. They heard it again as they turned the corner following it to the side window where the shutter was cracked open just enough and the pair froze stunned to the spot as that low sound turned into words. 

“Ah fu...fuck….XiCh….XiChen….huff……” Jiang Cheng gasped as he dropped his head back against the wall, his wrists tied tight with the Lan’s sacred ribbon and planted above his head under XiChen’s broad hand. 

Jiang Cheng and Lan XiChen were pressed against the far wall, XiChen’s body long and lean between his legs. The upper part of his prim and proper white robes was pulled down to sag against his waist exposing the hard planes of his muscles and underneath, Jiang Cheng’s long legs crossed around his back as ZeWu-Jun rocked up into his body with rhythmic thrusts. 

“Ahhhh….haaaa…...I...lo…..love your…..ahhhhnnnnn….your thick cock….f….fffuck XiC….ha…..ahhhh…..annnnhaaaa fuck yes!!”

XiChen groaned with a deep husky voice and Wei Ying and Jin Ling realized immediately what that low sound had been. They stood absolutely frozen in place, shocked stupid.

XiChen bucked his hips harder, the wet, slick sounds of skin hitting skin echoing around them lewdly. 

“Fuck you….yo...ur….so…...fu…..fuck…..deep Xi….XiChen….ahhhh…..fuck!...I love y….your thick cock up my ass…...nnnnnaaaaahhhhhhaaaa”

Lan XiChen dropped his hand from Jiang Cheng’s wrists and pressed both his palms under his thighs gripping them tightly and using them to pull his lover’s hips into his bucks as he moved faster and deeper pulling wild breathless moans from the man held up in his arms. 

“XiCh...haa….ahhh….mmmm….naahhaa…..your...so...fucking..ha...hard...haa….yessss...fuck!!” 

Lan XiChen leaned in to bury his face in Jiang Cheng’s sweaty neck, “WanYin love…..fuck I love it when you talk like that….”

Wei Ying stared at the pair watching as Jiang Cheng dropped his tied hands over XiChen’s head to lay around his neck, the long tails of the white Lan ribbon looking positively filthy when they swayed in the air as they fucked each other; their dirty words scalding his ears and he felt a blush take over his cheeks. He couldn’t deal with this. Granted Lan Zhan had done worse but they didn’t talk like….. _this….._

“Yeah? Do you XiChen? Do you….haaaa…….nnaaaammm…..ahhh...like….like it when I tell you….huff…..ahhhnnn…. I lo….love your big cock? Fuck XiChen….I fucking love you making ahhh mess out...huff... out of me….ahaaaaannnnn!!”

“Yes…….huff….I love it when you talk like that my beautiful WanYin….”

Jin Ling took a stilted breath, his cheeks catching fire as he glanced over next to him meeting Wei Ying’s eye and he was stunned for a second time. Wei WuXian, the master of shameless, was bright red, his cheeks dyed a deep shade of scarlet, even his ears were glowing and Jin Ling just couldn’t seem to compute that. 

He had never in his entire life seen Wei WuXian blush but there they were, Jiang Cheng and Lan XiChen talking pure filth and Wei Ying was as red as a Gusu apple. Jin Ling almost wanted to laugh but his own cheeks were burning too much for him to have the face to do so. He tugged his uncle away from the window walking back until they were on the stone walkway again. 

Neither one of them spoke and neither one of them could even manage to look at the other as they walked further down the path back towards the jingshi, their cheeks flushed and bright. They were just rounding the corner towards Wei Ying’s home when a happy voice called out to them. 

“Wei-qianbei! Jin Ling!” SiZhui bounded up the stone walkway with a big smile on his face and Jin Ling breathed a soft sigh of relief and happiness as he saw his lover and warmth bloomed in his heart. They had only been courting for a few months now and he did cherish seeing him. 

“Ah SiZhui!” Wei Ying snapped out of his embarrassment with a bright smile of his own. “How were your classes?”

“Good, shifu let us out early today since he has a lot of letters to attend to and it’s so cold now,” he shivered lightly tugging his white cloak around him more snugly. 

“How are you Jin Ling?” He asked shyly a soft pink edging his ears as he glanced at the other boy with a sweet smile on his face. 

Jin Ling blushed again and cursed his stupid cheeks, “go….good. I’m here for a f….few days if you want to hang out or whatever….”

“That’s great Jin Ling, go play with SiZhui for a while, I’m going to brew some tea. Come back later for dinner, ok?” Wei Ying nudged the other boy with a playful smile on his face as he glanced knowingly between them. 

Even though neither one had confirmed it, Wei Ying decided you would have to be blind not to see how cute they acted around each other and he hoped they would make it official soon. 

“Thanks Wei-qianbei!” SiZhui grinned another sunny smile and tugged Jin Ling by the hand towards the Disciples’ Quarters. He was the head disciple of GusuLan and as such he had his own modest room in the far back corner of the living area the junior and senior disciples called home.

“So...how you been Jin Ling?” SiZhui glanced over at him with warm eyes as they walked just a little faster to get out of the cold. 

“G…..go…..good….” Jin Ling stuttered awkwardly. He couldn’t seem to find his stride with SiZhui. After the cave of the Bat King, they had kissed once or twice, JingYi stuck to them like glue effectively blocking them from going any further and Jin Ling was seriously ready for more. He wanted more with SiZhui. And though he had spent hours and hours contemplating if he loved the other boy or not, he had eventually come to the realization that his feelings could be nothing else. 

He looked forward to seeing him, he enjoyed his company, he valued his morals and his steadfast nature and he definitely wanted to kiss him again so that must be love, right? Seriously, love didn’t seem like it would be all that complicated but he really didn’t have the nerve to tell the other boy that just yet. The most he was comfortable with was an ‘I like you’ which at this point in their courting seemed like a great place to start. Maybe one day he would know for sure if he loved the other boy or not but right now, in this moment, he knew he definitely did like him. 

They passed the snowy wooden gate of the Disciples’ Quarters, their boots crunching the thick snow that lay everywhere. It was shoveled off the main walkways by industrious juniors but no one was very inclined to move it out of the way of their own living area. Seemed like a waste of energy when no senior had told them to do so. 

They passed the regular dorms to end up at the far end where a slightly larger building stood. It was much smaller than the senior living quarters but it was still a few times larger than the other disciples’.

SiZhui stepped through the door with a shiver taking his shoulders. He toed out of his boots and shut the door quickly after Jin Ling followed him in and went to start a fire in the hearth. His long white cloak snug around his shoulders still. A pot of hot tea was exactly what the doctor ordered.

“Make yourself at home Jin Ling, I’m going to start some tea,” He called over good naturedly as he threw some logs into the hearth and set a fire talisman to it. It flared up immediately, crackling merrily and the shadowy gloom of his home was suddenly glowing and flickering warmly. It was bright enough that he didn’t light the hanging candles that dangled around the edges of the room.

Jin Ling slipped out of his cloak and hung it up by the door as he glanced around. He had never seen SiZhui’s quarters before. It was modest compared to a senior’s being cozy instead. It was an open room with a screen that cut off the bathing and changing area with his bed taking up the other side. There was a low table in the center of the room close to the hearth next to which hung a set of shelves. There were scrolls and writing brushes with their ink stones on a few of the black wooden shelves under which sat his guqin and a shelf lower, his sword, Ningshi lay on its stand in its elegant white sheath. It’s long blue tassel turning a darker hue in the flickering glow of the fireplace. 

Jin Ling shucked his boots off, leaving them and his sword by the door to avoid tracking snow everywhere and plopped down at the low table content to watch SiZhui brew some tea. And he considered his….lover? Partner? Suitor? whatever fondly. 

SiZhui was elegant and graceful with his hands, the long tapered tips of his fingers carefully measuring out the tea leaves. His fair skin was glowing with the flickering flames, his downcast eyes framed by the lashes that cast shadows on his cheeks, the fur of his cloak caressing the seductive cut of his jaw. The white trim was dyed a rich warm color with the crackling fire in the hearth. 

He was beautiful, breathtakingly so and Jin Ling wondered distantly if there was something in the water here in Gusu because almost all of the GusuLan people he had ever met had a similar sort of beauty though none compared to the thick fall of his black hair or his clear dark grey eyes. A grey so dark and rich it seemed black sometimes and Jin Ling continued his perusal of the boy in front of him. 

SiZhui had broad shoulders and a long form even if he was still a few inches shorter than him but Jin Ling didn’t mind it. If SiZhui stayed shorter or grew to the height of a tree later in life, it wouldn’t matter one bit. 

SiZhui turned almost as if feeling his gaze on him. He looked over with a soft, beautiful smile curling those sweet lips up and Jin Ling felt an odd blush steal across his features. 

_Ah…..dammit…_ Jin Ling cursed to himself. Ever since the Lantern Festival a couple of months ago, he had lost complete control over himself and he blushed like a love struck fool for no apparent reason. Why the hell would anyone flush just because someone looked back at you?! He wondered crossly but there was little heat in his thoughts. He couldn’t really be upset with SiZhui and the soft smile in his face. 

The other boy grabbed the tray of tea with its little porcelain cups and walked back over to settle it down on the low table Jin Ling sat at. 

“I’m going to grab some wine ok? Wei-qianbei said it’s the best way to take tea in the winter, warms you up to your ears,” SiZhui laughed and Jin Ling bit his lip lightly. What was wrong with him? Even SiZhui’s laugh seemed beautiful and Jin Ling almost groaned. He could feel his ears tingling with the heat of his flush. 

The GusuLan Head Disciple went to the corner of his room where another set of shelves and cabinets sat close to the thin white changing screen. It was a lovely piece with a graceful scene of mountains with drifting clouds and a little river running down the rice paper. 

He fetched 2 jars of wine and plopped himself down at the table next to Jin Ling. His cloak spreading out around him gracefully as he gave the other boy another one of those breathtaking smiles. He filled the cups halfway with the rich red wine and topped it off with hot tea, little plumes of steam wafting up into the air. 

“Here,” he handed over the little tea cup, Jin Ling taking it gingerly determined not to drop it when their fingers touched. His hands were trembling and he cursed himself again. SiZhui was kind of….too close to him. Their knees were almost touching.

_Ugh…..fuck this…..why the hell am I even nervous?!_

SiZhui didn’t notice as he braced his elbows on the dark wood of the low table and inhaled the steam into his lungs humming happily as he drank it down in one gulp. His lashes fluttering closed as a blissful expression took his features. 

“Ah…” He moaned happily, “that really is the best, what do you think Jin Ling?” SiZhui asked as he served another cup looking up through his lashes and Jin Ling swallowed down his racing heart. _Fucking hell, I’m going to have a heart attack at this rate….._

SiZhui’s innocent little moan had pulled things low in his body and he cursed himself again. Was he truly some lust driven beast too tangled up in lewd thoughts to share a decent cup of tea with his friend? 

_There must be something wrong with me…._

Jin Ling almost groaned as he tipped his cup and drank it all down quickly. He paused for a moment as the hot tea and wine warmed him up from the inside flowing through him all the way down to the tips of his chilled toes. It was indeed blissful and he moaned softly too. 

SiZhui glanced out of the corner of his eye watching Jin Ling tilt his head up showing the long seductive column of his neck and he swallowed dryly. Jin Ling was so unbearably beautiful he almost couldn’t stand it. And his deep, low moan sent a shiver down his back that had nothing to do with the cold in the air. 

They hadn’t been intimate since that night a few months ago in the cave and SiZhui was quite frankly dying at this point. He wanted him so badly, he dreamed about him. He dreamed about his arching back, his husky voice, his red lips and he drank his second cup of tea in a desperate attempt to distract himself. 

Jin Ling was almost glowing with the crackling fire that was the only light in the room bathing him in amber and SiZhui yanked his eyes away serving another cup of tea for them both. But his eyes drifted back again and again as he watched Jin Ling lay those soft lips against his teacup and swallow, his adam’s apple bobbing with far more allure than the gesture had any right to be. 

Truth be told, SiZhui wanted nothing more than to lay Jin Ling down right there on the floor and take his time loving him. Time he hadn’t had the last time they had been together in that dark, dusty cave. He wanted to spend hours kissing and sucking and licking every part of Jin Ling until he could paint his portrait from his memories alone.

They sat there in companionable silence in the glow of the fire drinking and drinking and drinking, an odd kind of tension palpable between them. Neither one knew how to broach the subject and they didn’t know what to talk about besides that. 

As soon as the last bottle of wine had been drunk, SiZhui bit his lip uncertainly. Surely he should brew more? Perhaps Jin Ling was tired and would prefer a nap? He could definitely sleep here until dinner time when Wei WuXian had invited everyone over for a family meal. That invitation had been sweet and SiZhui had felt warm all over to be included in his family. He had always considered HanGuang-Jun as his father or his brother but he had never been brave enough to speak that out loud holding his feelings close to his heart but Wei Ying had thrown the doors open to his emotions loudly and happily claiming SiZhui as his ‘son’ bantering that he had to be the mother since Lan Zhan was definitely the father. 

He had proceeded to tell the tale of the butterflies when Wei Ying and A-Yuan had met the esteemed HanGuang-Jun in YiLing that one time when SiZhui had called him father and SiZhui had blushed to the roots of his hair with every word out of his mouth. The worst was the ‘I like you’ butterflies. 

SiZhui shook his head lightly, banishing the leftover embarrassment. Thank his ancestors, Jin Ling didn’t know that story. 

Unbeknownst to him, Jin Ling finished his last cup of tea and turned his brown eyes over to consider the boy next to him. He traced those elegant cheekbones and the gentle bow of his lips, his eyes catching on those long lowered lashes as SiZhui contemplated his empty teacup. He felt warm, a tingling in his fingertips as he ached to trace the shape of his mouth, to caress with pale skin with his hands. He felt keenly the haze in his head after just the right amount of wine and he knew too that he was kind of drunk already. The heat of the tea warm in his veins.

Perhaps it was the wine but he was drawn back to that window outside the hanshi, those filthy words burning his ears and he wondered what SiZhui would do if he spoke like that. Would he blush and stutter? Would he jump away shyly? Would he stare at him in shock, open mouthed and astonished? Would he hate it? Would he think he was too lewd and sexual? Jin Ling felt bold with the hot wine in his belly and he let himself drift closer to the boy he had dreamed about for so many nights. That night in the cave haunting his thoughts and turning his dreams into something wild and unrestrained leaving him to wake up to wet pants more times than he cared to admit. 

He moved in slowly nuzzling the black hair over SiZhui’s ear.

SiZhui for his part was just about to turn to ask Jin Ling what he wanted to do when he stilled, pinned to the spot as the other boy leaned into him, his hot breath ghosting over his ear with a sultry whisper. 

“Hey SiZhui….what would you do if I said I wanted your thick cock up my ass….?” 

SiZhui froze, stunned stupid as a wildfire blushed caught his cheeks. He swallowed heavily simply unable to speak as heat ran down his back immediately, lust curling through his belly. He blinked his black lashes trying to compute what Jin Ling said when he almost squeaked.

Jin Ling sucked the shell of his ear with his soft lips, his tongue tracing the curve of it before he spoke again. 

“Would you like it if I told you how much I like you deep inside me?” He purred low, his hot breath caressing the side of SiZhui’s neck alluringly before he paused, nuzzling the other boy’s ear again. 

“Hey SiZhui... what would you do if I said I love your big cock making a mess out of me….”

SiZhui gritted his teeth and turned quickly. He swept his cloak off spreading it across the ground before he lunged forward toppling Jin Ling to the floor across the thick soft folds of his over robe, the fur of his collar caressing his glowing skin, the fire painting him almost amber with its warmth. 

He stared down into Jin Ling’s dark gaze, his own sharp with a dangerous glint to his eyes. 

“I think...I love it when you talk like that….Jin Ling say it again…..” 

Jin Ling looked up at him with a sultry grin on his lips, “make a mess out of me SiZhui….”

And SiZhui was completely and totally incapable of denying that request. He leaned down quickly capturing those pale pink lips immediately. His tongue slipping into his mouth with a low groan as Jin Ling met him with just as much heat. 

They kissed each other wildly, weeks of longing swirling with the hot wine in their bellies as they kissed and kissed and kissed. SiZhui dragged his tongue along Jin Ling’s with wet rubs and light flicks as he sought to eat this boy whole. 

His hands tugging at his belt quickly before he yanked the golden Lanling robe over his head and off into the corner of the room. Then he pulled those thick robes open. He dropped his hands to the long, solid planes of his muscles with another appreciative moan. Gods how could one person be so sexy? How could this boy be so ridiculously seductive?

Jin Ling gasped into their kiss as those broad hands ran down his torso from the solid muscles of his chest over the dips and ridges of his abs before sliding back up his sides. SiZhui’s hands were blistering hot, no doubt from holding steaming cups of tea but somehow they felt even hotter.

“Fu...fuck SiZhui…” he pulled back lightly, his breathy voice feathering over the other boy’s wet lips. 

“Mmm” SiZhui hummed back as he kissed down from those soft lips moving over the alluring column of his neck. He slipped his tongue out licking with light little sucks across all that warm skin. He forced himself not to bite or suck too deeply knowing he certainly could not let Jin Ling walk around with love marks above his collar.

He kissed down further moaning softly as Jin Ling slipped his hands into his hair tugging at his hair piece before he tossed it off somewhere letting all that thick black hair fall loose. He leaned back into the fur cloak under him tilting his chin almost coyly as SiZhui looked at him for a moment entranced. Then he really did make a mess out of him. 

His hot mouth dropping to his skin again, moving lower still to suck and nip at those sharp collar bones and when Jin Ling moaned, he did too. His mind was tying itself up in knots as everything faded away around them, nothing but Jin Ling and his low voice registering in his hazy, lust blown mind. He wanted, he craved this boy and he would have him. 

He tugged those robes all the way off leaving Jin Ling in nothing but his pants as he kissed lower to suck at those perky little nipples, already hard from the cold or his own lust. Jin Ling gasped with a stilted breath arching his chest up into SiZhui’s mouth as those elegant fingertips moved to tug and roll the other nipple. They pulled and pressed and kneaded it as he sucked and licked and mouthed the one against his lips. 

SiZhui was losing his mind and he gasped himself when Jin Ling slipped his hands from his hair to pull at his belt quickly before sliding those white robes off his shoulders. SiZhui threw them all the way off before he leaned down to press their bodies together, dropping his mouth to Jin Ling’s again. He kissed the other boy heavily, his tongue mapping out every curve and hollow before rubbing wetly at his tongue again. He pulled back just a little to nip his lip, tugging it up with his teeth and he canted his hips forward pressing his hard cock against Jin Ling’s. The thick material of their winter pants simultaneously hot and irritating. 

And SiZhui did it again swallowing Jin Ling’s moan and answering him with one of his own. Jin Ling pulled away from their messy kiss to pant into the space between them. He tugged his waistband down releasing his thick cock. It was so hard it snapped up into the air and SiZhui quickly followed suit, his own shaft already dripping with precum. 

Jin Ling glanced up into his eyes with lust flickering in his dark gaze and he wrapped his broad hand around their hard cocks and dragged his fist up shocking twin moans from their mouths. Then he did it again and SiZhui leaned forward to kiss him, unable to do much else, his hips rocking into Jin Ling’s fist, the rub of the other boy’s cock on his own unbelievably sexy. It felt so stupidly amazing, he thought he’d come almost immediately. He pushed the feeling back as Jin Ling moaned another one of those husky, low sounds and his hand moved faster still, sliding up to the tips and pumping over the thick heads of their cocks rhythmically, trying to breathe around SiZhui’s tongue in his mouth. 

“Fu….fuck Ji….Jin….L….Lin…...g….haaa” SiZhui panted dropping his head into the crook of the other boy’s neck, his hot breath against his skin making him shiver.

“Ahh...haaa…….ammm…” Jin Ling let his eyes flutter closed as he tugged them faster pumping his fist up and down and up and down, faster until you could hear the slide of skin on skin and he knew dimly he wouldn’t last. He couldn’t not after weeks and weeks of nothing, nights of dream after dream of SiZhui and he felt his body tense up, his hand moving a little erratically. 

“Mmmnnnaa…..haaa…..annnnggghh!!!” Jin Ling’s entire body arched like a bow against SiZhui as he dragged them both over the edge, their releases shooting out across Jin Ling’s belly and chest.

They panted heavily for a moment as aftershocks jumped up and down their spines before SiZhui leaned back to sit on his heels kneeling over Jin Ling’s thighs as he gazed foggily down at the boy under him. 

He blinked once as another swell of lust caught him. Jin Ling looked absolutely filthy laying there on his fluffy white cloak, his body bare and his pants pulled down with stripes of cum across his skin. 

And SiZhui really could not control himself when he leaned down and lapped at the proof of their pleasures. He licked long lines up Jin Ling’s abs then over his chest cleaning him up before he kissed the other boy again sharing their taste between them. This kiss was languid and slow with a lazy sort of lust as they enjoyed the glow of their satisfaction.

But like it or not, SiZhui really couldn’t let this go. He needed more, he needed to bury himself in Jin Ling’s body again and kiss and suck and lick him even more. After a long while of those gentle kisses, the Head Disciple of GusuLan leaned back again and slipped off Jin Ling’s body. 

He pulled him up and rolled him over onto his stomach where he paused again, his dark eyes tracing the long, solid muscles of his back and he leaned down over him again to drag his tongue along those defined muscles. You could see them curve and dip and SiZhui followed each one with serious dedication. He mapped them with long licks of his tongue and light sucking kisses nipping them until he really couldn’t take it any longer and he dug his teeth into the arch of one of his longer muscles and Jin Ling jerked under him with a loud moan. 

It was such a heavy, seductive sound that SiZhui did it again moving lower to leave another sucking bite at the curve of his lower back. He slipped the rest of Jin Ling’s pants off revealing the firm, round swells of his ass and SiZhui gave in again, mouthing them and nibbling them. He palmed those cheeks with both hands, grabbing them and kneading them before he pulled them open.

He shifted onto his knees between those long legs as he stared at the light pink hole in front of him and he was seized by a maddening desire to kiss it, his mouth watering at the prospect. Jin Ling had said he could next time and it was next time right now. He leaned in blowing a puff of hot air across it when Jin Ling squeaked. 

“N...no….SiZhui…..don’t…..”

“Please Jin Ling, I really, really want to….” SiZhui asked hoarsely, his hands moving to knead his cheeks again, his strong fingers grabbing and pressing and gripping them possessively. 

“You...said I could…….next time….”

“Ngh….” Jin Ling glanced over his shoulders with a blush across his cheeks. SiZhui looked up at him dragging his eyes from that magnificent ass with effort and Jin Ling did gasp when he met those hot eyes. They were heavy and dark with the shadows of the room and his own endless lust. 

He bit his lip nervously before he shifted up onto his knees spreading them wide over the cloak a little awkwardly. He didn’t know what to do in this situation but SiZhui was right, he did say that and it would be a lie if he said he wasn’t curious about it. 

“Mmm,” SiZhui moaned appreciatively, his hands sliding down to grab those firm thighs for a moment. He kneaded those too before he moved his palms back up with a hot drag of his hands to those cheeks again. He leaned down and kissed the right one sucking it into his mouth before he dug his teeth in to leave a bold mark behind, Jin Ling shivering under him. SiZhui kissed long hot trails across to the other one where he did it again leaving matching bite marks on the pale swells of his ass.

SiZhui admired them for a second before he slid those cheeks open and ducked his head to lick one long wet line up from his balls along all that smooth skin up over the small puckered hole to nip at his tail bone trembling with a full bodied shiver as Jin Ling let out the lowest, richest moan he had ever heard. 

“aaaahhhhaaAAAAAHHHHAAA!?” 

It tripped down his spine and heat swelled up within SiZhui again. He could feel his spent cock thickening up between his legs and he licked another hot line up over the little hole again. He rubbed his tongue into it with wet passes. Over and over he lapped at it and every single pant and groan Jin Ling released wound him up tighter and tighter. 

Jin Ling gasped again with another low moan, his arms collapsing under him and he buried his face into the fur collar of SiZhui’s cloak. It smelled just like him, something rich and light, his scent had a gentle hint of sandalwood coupled with something fresh and sweet. He couldn’t really identify it but it filled his senses, the white fur caressing his flushed cheeks. He couldn’t wrap his head around this. It felt so good, it was turning his mind upside down and he relaxed under SiZhui’s hot mouth. Whatever his lover wanted to do to him, he wanted it too. He could feel his cock growing again under him, stiffening with the idea and the sensations of SiZhui’s tongue against his ass. 

After the hundredth or so lick, SiZhui sucked it into his mouth completely, wrapping his lips around it and kneading it, his tongue tracing that swollen hole wetly. He pressed his lips into Jin Ling’s skin relishing the feeling, his cock curving up hard again. It throbbed against his abdomen with desire and need but SiZhui pushed it back. He would enjoy this and he grazed that puckered skin with his teeth lightly, moaning in time to Jin Ling. 

After a while he released that hole and moved to flick the center of his entrance easing into it with a few firm nudges. The tight ring loosening up under him and he moaned long and low in his throat. Jin Ling was so hot, so sexy with his ass spread open, his hips rocking back into his tongue unconsciously. 

SiZhui pushed firmly until it finally gave under him and he slid his long tongue up into his ass with another low moan. It was tight around him, like a warm, wet hug. He thrust in deeper before he slid out and did it again, fucking Jin Ling’s hole with relish. 

“AHHNNNAAA…..huff….ahhhh…..HAAAA” Jin Ling groaned into the fur under his nose as SiZhui really started to fuck him with his mouth, in deep then out then in so deeply, his teeth pressed into the skin around it, then he did it again and Jin Ling really couldn’t deal with it anymore. He wanted, he needed it thicker, needed it deeper and he panted over his shoulder. 

“Si….SiZhui…..please…...please fuck me….I want your cock…..”

SiZhui froze for a moment, another wild shiver taking his body and he pulled back. 

“O…..ok….” He huffed out, stumbling to his feet quickly. He went to his cabinets again and fetched another little bottle of oil returning almost immediately. He poured it over Jin Ling’s ass with trembling fingers. He was so hot, so ready to fuck him but he didn’t want to hurt him so he slipped his slick fingers into his hole. It gave easily already loose and open for him. 

He pumped his two fingers a few times before he wiggled a third one in for good measure and he groaned as it clutched around him. _Ugh…..I can’t take this….._ And neither could Jin Ling apparently for he spoke again, his voice hoarse, “gods SiZhui just do it! Please!!”

_UGH_

SiZhui poured another generous amount of oil over his throbbing cock and lined himself up. He swallowed dryly and pushed forward, the thick, hot tip of his length pressing into that slick hole. It accepted him easily and SiZhui slid in with one long slick glide.

“aaaahhhhhhhHHHHHAAAAAA Fuck…..yes!” Jin Ling moaned huskily as he felt every thick, hot inch until SiZhui was buried within him, his hips flush to his ass. 

“Haaaaa…..ahahhhhhhhhhhhhaaaa…..” SiZhui blinked quickly trying to ground himself, trying to keep from coming immediately. He stilled for a moment collecting himself but Jin Ling was done waiting. He rocked forward on his knees before he slammed his body back with a loud slap and SiZhui almost saw stars. He wrapped his hands tight around those sexy hips and moaned himself when Jin Ling did it again and then again. 

“Ah….ahh…...haa…...annnn….mmmmm…..” Jin Ling was losing his mind, it felt so good, none of the pain of his first time, instead it was nothing but heat and pleasure with delicious friction. He rocked forward and back again before SiZhui jerked into motion. 

He pulled his body out before snapping them in again going deeper than before and Jin Ling gasped loudly as lights bloomed over his eyes. SiZhui grinned and pitched his hips again, in deep and back and in deep and back setting a wild rhythm between them, the slapping sounds of skin echoing around them. And Jin Ling lost himself to this maddening push and pull, every buck sending stars across his vision.

“HAA….AAHHHH…..MMMMMNAAA…….AAAMMMM…..HAAA…….AAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!”

His hands fisted up in the thick fluffy cloak under him and his voice grew louder and louder and SiZhui had a moment of clarity. He loved Jin Ling’s moans, loved his husky wild voice but they were right in the middle of the Disciples’ Quarters and he most certainly did not want others to hear the voice that was reserved for him alone. He regretted not putting up a silencing talisman and he whispered hoarsely. 

“J….Ji…..Jin…..ahhh…..haa…...Jin Ling! Shh….pl….please…..mmm…..haa…..you’re…..too loud…..”

But Jin Ling couldn’t hear him, he couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t tell up from down as SiZhui plowed into his ass with heavy thrusts punching into his spot with every hard buck. He was drowning in pleasure, nothing by shocks running up and down his back, his release swirling low in his belly and growing and growing within him. He would come soon, he would come with SiZhui’s cock deep in his ass and he loved it. He really did, he could do this over and over, he wanted to share this pleasure with the boy he liked. 

“Shh…..shh…..plea…..se…..haa…….mmmmmnnn…….shh Ji….ahhh” SiZhui groaned again as that little hole started to clutch around him, it dragged lewdly as he pulled out and sucked him up as he pushed back in and he leaned forward draping his body over Jin Ling’s back, sliding his hand around to cover the other boy’s mouth. 

“Ji...haa…..Jin…...Lin……..g…...aahahhhnnnnn…...fu….fuck….you…..you’re….so….hot ummmmhahaa…….” Jin Ling moved his head lightly to suck those long fingers into his mouth licking and flicking against them as SiZhui made a mess out of him. He could feel his release swelling within him pulling tighter and tighter until it suddenly snapped. 

“MMNNNNNNNNMMMMM!!!” Jin Ling seized up under him, his back arching downwards and his ass tightening on that thick cock inside of him. 

SiZhui turned his head into the curve of Jin Ling’s neck with desperation. He couldn’t hold on under this. He was completely incapable of denying his lover’s pleasure and the seductive pull of his body and he came too. His body jerking with shocks as he panted wildly, huffing hard into the sweat soaked nape he was buried against. 

He saw spots dance over his eyes and he felt Jin Ling’s legs collapse dropping them both down to the thick fluffy cloak underneath them. Jin Ling turned his head tiredly letting SiZhui’s fingers fall from his mouth to nuzzle into his nose affectionately. 

SiZhui leaned in kissing him lightly, his breath still coming fast and hard through his nose. He blinked trying to focus his gaze as warmth rolled up through his body. 

“Wo….wow….” He whispered shakily and Jin Ling hummed back appreciatively. They cuddled boneless and glowing with the euphoria that came from their amazing sex and SiZhui smiled as he laid there half on top of Jin Ling and half on the white cloak under them. He was loath to end this. He didn’t want to pull out and end their connection so he didn’t. 

Instead he kissed Jin Ling’s swollen red lips again leisurely, slowly, enjoying it and Jin Ling hummed again. He shifted a little feeling SiZhui inside of him and he got a wicked idea. He rolled his hips up slightly then back down pressing into it and SiZhui’s eyes popped back open in surprise. 

Jin Ling pulled back nipping his nose lightly, “so…….wanna maybe….do it again?” he whispered before he bit his lip lightly and SiZhui blinked. _Again?! Yes I want to do it again?! Damn! Can I?_

He considered himself, he had come really hard but Jin Ling was staring at him with a sultry look in his eyes and his red lip caught between his teeth shyly. The flickering fire painting those eyes amber with a dim glow and SiZhui decided if he could or if he couldn’t he’d figure it out as he went. 

He leaned in licking that caught lip teasingly and Jin Ling opened his mouth for SiZhui letting the other boy kiss him again. This time Jin Ling was the one who slid forward into his mouth slowly, tangling with his tongue. He caressed SiZhui gently rolling his ass up slowly to press into the solid hips laying against him. 

He moaned low in his throat as he felt that cock swell a little inside of him and that was absolutely filthy to feel, so ridiculously lewd and Jin Ling moaned again pushing deeper into SiZhui’s mouth, his tongue rubbing and flicking and licking as a simmering passion bloomed between them. 

SiZhui rocked his hips into Jin Ling slowly as he felt himself grow just a little harder as Jin Ling kissed him. 

They kissed for a long while with those little nudging thrusts until Jin Ling pulled back with his red swollen lips. He gazed at SiZhui then entranced by the vision of his lover. SiZhui was bathed in a flickering light, the fire casting a glow across his pale skin, his cheeks were flushed and his long lowered lashes framed his hot eyes. 

He looked sexy, seductive and Jin Ling leaned in again ducking his head to nuzzle his jaw. He shifted then, turning over and almost whined when SiZhui slipped out of him but he wanted to do more. 

He turned to face him and SiZhui leaned back to lay on his side, his cock just a little thicker than before. Jin Ling pulled his eyes with effort from the alluring vision in front of him and pressed forward. He swept all that long black hair to the side and laid soft kisses along the smooth column of his neck. 

He peppered all that sweet, sweaty skin with light kisses and little sucks as he moved lower to those sharp collar bones. He licked and sucked at those too. He spent a long time mapping out the curves and dips with his mouth and SiZhui moaned softly. 

He was drifting under Jin Ling’s hot mouth, heat pooling at the base of his spine with every little nip and kiss and when Jin Ling laid a sucking bite into the base of his collarbone he jerked with a stilted moan and just like that he was hard again. 

Jin Ling grinned and did it again, biting just a little lower to leave a matching set of marks. He glanced over to meet those dark eyes and he squeaked when SiZhui lunged forward pressing him back down into the soft cloak under them. 

He gazed into Jin Ling’s eyes for a moment before he leaned in to kiss him hard and fast, their breath falling from their moving mouths in hot pants. He slipped his hands down to Jin Ling’s thighs to pull them up and open when the other boy stopped him with a hand on his chest. 

“I….let me….ok?” Jin Ling asked shyly his long, long lashes lowered slightly and SiZhui didn’t quite understand what he meant so he let Jin Ling push him off slowly, pressing him down on his back into the thick folds of his cloak. 

Jin Ling glanced up into his eyes again a little nervously and he bit his lip. SiZhui waited patiently for whatever he wanted to do and soon enough that beautiful boy moved over to straddle him and SiZhui’s eyes widened as he realized with a crack of lightning what Jin Ling was planning on doing.

He swallowed dryly as his eyes caught on his thick cock that curved up towards his naval then further up to those hard abs and over his swollen nipples. He dragged his gaze all the way up to meet those heavy lidded eyes and he swallowed again. 

His heart was suddenly racing in his chest as Jin Ling rose up onto his knees and caught SiZhui’s thick cock in his hand positioning it under him.

“Ji--”

“Mmmmm,” Jin Ling moaned as he slowly sat back down on it, his chin dipping as his lashes fluttered closed and SiZhui couldn’t stop his answering moan as that tight hole slipped around him again all the way down until Jin Ling was sitting on his lap. 

He froze for a moment, a shiver shaking his broad shoulders and SiZhui huffed, his hands coming up to wrap around those sharp hips. He couldn’t fathom this, Jin Ling look so fucking hot over him and he moaned long and low when he lifted his hips again all the way up until just the tip was inside before he dropped his hips again hilting SiZhui with a loud slap of skin on skin. 

“AHHHHHHH…..HAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN” Jin Ling moaned long and loud as he felt that thick, hard cock breach him. He rose up again moving a little faster as he shifted until he gasped hoarsely finding that spot within him. 

Then he really started to fuck SiZhui. Pushing his hips forward then pulling up almost all the way just to drop down hard. Then he did it again, grinding into that cock within him. He rolled his hips before rising only to fall back to roll forward and up and down. He set a quick rhythm between them bouncing with lewd squelching sounds as he pulled SiZhui deeper into his ass, his own cock slapping the other boy’s hard abs with every buck of his body.

“Ahhhhhhh!” SiZhui groaned heavily as that tight, hot ass moved above him swallowing his entire length inside again and then again. His hands clenching tight on Jin Ling’s pale hips in a desperate attempt to hang on. He was losing his mind, it was so, so, so hot to watch Jin Ling fuck himself on his cock. 

Jin Ling moved rhythmically up and down pushing that cock in as deep as he could before rising almost all the way to drop his hips hilting that cock again. 

“Haaa...haaaa…...annnnn….haaaaaaaannnnmmm…..mmmmm….nnnnnaaaahhhh!” 

He moved just that little bit faster, bouncing on SiZhui’s lap chasing their endings. He planted his hands down on SiZhui’s chest and used his leverage to put more strength behind his thrusts, rising and falling with wild bucks. He threw his head back as that hard cock filled him so completely, so lewdly stretching his hole. 

“Fu….fuck…..ahhhhh….haaaaa…...fuck SiZ…..SiZhui!!”

“Ahhh….haaa…..ammmmnnnhaaa!” SiZhui gasped and moaned; he couldn’t deal with this, he could already feel his release boiling low in his belly and he knew he couldn’t stop it, he couldn’t do anything as Jin Ling took his pleasure from his body. His hands tight as a vice around those thrusting hips.

And Jin Ling’s body continued to move, he rolled his hips forward then pulled them up before slamming back down to shove that impossibly hard shaft inside him. His voice going breathy and hoarse in the room mixing with SiZhui’s panting breaths and broken moans. 

SiZhui was grasping at control, he couldn’t get a handle on himself. His breath coming in hot, quick spurts almost gasping under the bucking boy on top of him. His hands tightened on those moving hips, his head whipping to the side as he tried to ground himself, tried to focus his thoughts enough to do something. He wanted to pleasure Jin Ling too, he wanted to tug on that heavy cock that was rhythmically smacking his abs with his bucks but he really couldn’t bring himself to do anything as Jin Ling continued to fuck him. 

With his head thrown to the side, he slitted one dark eye open unable to resist staring at the boy above him. Jin Ling was panting and gasping and moaning loudly, his body undulating on top of him and SiZhui knew dimly that he was way too loud so he leaned up with what little strength he had and yanked him all the way down, kissing him wildly. 

Their kiss was a mess of lips and tongues and muffled moans as Jin Ling took them higher and higher, his hips rolling forward and up and back and down and forward again. He couldn’t stop his voice, couldn’t focus on the kiss, on anything other than SiZhui’s thick cock in his ass and he felt that tension pull so tight within him it snapped and he froze. 

His body arching and tensing, his release rushing out of him to paint long white stripes across SiZhui’s chest. And SiZhui moaned heavily into Jin Ling’s mouth. He popped his hips up into that tight, sucking ass and with a few more pumps of his body, he emptied himself as well. His climax hitting him so hard his vision disappeared under the flurry of sparkling lights blooming over him. 

They laid there huffing and panting, breathing hard as they tried to work their bodies back down, a blanket of warmth rolling up along their spines and suffusing them with an afterglow so rich, neither one could move at all. Instead they just leaned against each other, Jin Ling flat over SiZhui’s chest, his head laying over his heart and he smiled tiredly as he listened to it race. 

He felt that smile turn into a grin as SiZhui whispered hoarsely, “f…..fu……..uck….damn….Jin Ling….”

“Mmmhmm,” Jin Ling nuzzled into that firm chest with affection as sleep drifted over him and he smiled one last smile as SiZhui wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. He shifted to slip out of that sexy ass letting Jin Ling stretch his legs out with a contented sigh. 

For all his height, he cuddled up into SiZhui anyway and SiZhui let him, holding him close to his heart as sleep dragged them both down. And there they drifted in a hazy, tired state with nothing but each other and the crackling fire bathing them with its amber glow. 

They would just have to be late to dinner because there was no way in heaven or hell, SiZhui could bear to leave the boy he loved after all that. He was just about to fall asleep when Jin Ling whispered with that soft, hoarse voice.

“You know SiZhui….I do like you…..a lot…..” he trailed off, his voice fading away and SiZhui smiled. He smiled with his whole heart and he nuzzled into the sweaty black hair under his nose. He paused for a moment to throw his golden headpiece off somewhere in the corner of his room releasing those long locks from its high tail. He carded his hands through those silky strands and he whispered back, “I love you too Jin Ling….”

And like this they feel asleep in each other’s arms, warm from the inside out with nothing but love and affection between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow guys thank you so much to everyone who read this story and the whole series, I'm so happy you all enjoyed it and stuck it out with me over these last few months!! This is the end of _Smut, Feelings, and Love ^.~_ Thank you guys so so so very much and I have a twitter if anyone wants to come say hi :) https://twitter.com/brieeze01


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